over the railing, out to sea.

[Graham McCarthy]

GRAHAM BRYANT MCCARTHY
VALK STREETS, THE PIER, MORNING, SEPTEMBER 2007

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-----by now it had to be well known to scarlett that graham was not the chattiest of fellows. it had to be painfully obvious that she wouldn't get as much out of him as she wanted to get and that was probably the way it was going to stay. even if he had slightly opened up, graham wasn't sure to what extent she'd see him actually open up. graham had never been the one to openly express...well, anything. he'd always kept things inside because his feelings and emotions were his weakest points. he'd learned from a very young age that staying silent about everything, not just staying silent, was the key to his survival. what had initially thrown him off was the fact that he didn't have to live this was in the orphanage that he'd originally been placed it. it was safe to say that out of the twenty-someodd places he'd stayed over his unwanted childhood, the orphanage had been like the pearly gates of heaven compared to everything else. the place had been funded by a lonely elderly woman who's fortune had gone to something good as opposed to a hotel dedicated specifically to her pampered pets. but the money wasn't enough to keep them afloat forever and graham had been one of the unlucky children to come in as the orphanage was on it's last legs. but that place had been decent. it hadn't been skewed by government policies and such and the people working there had been some of the most generous a young child could come to encounter. the really were wonderful people. having lived a few years there did not make it any easier for graham when it had come to his next "home" but as least he'd gotten that one taste of decency in his life, up until now.

-----he had been completely unprepared for the life that followed. the begging, the scraping, and having to walk on eggshells. none of that had been taught to him at the orphanage. he was lucky he'd learned it at all. graham had been so young when he'd been sent to his first foster home. he had no idea the kind of abuse that occured there on a daily basis. no one knew. that was why the family had managed to keep kids for so long. it wasn't until they'd been found out that their own child had been scooped up in the process. graham hadn't known that life could look like this. through the eyes of a four year old kid, introduced to this world for the first time, everything around him was scary. even when you wanted to just curl into a ball and cry, hoping that your silent sobs would help you fall into the background, they never did any good. after the first year or so of no success, graham had just given up. it was hard to get such a reality check at a young age but it was better than the alternative. it was better than sticking it all out in the hopes that the next foster home would be better. they never were. graham was one of those kids who had never gotten a break. he'd ended up in the home of someone who didn't give a damn and only took in foster kids for the government money, money that never actually went to treating the kids the way they ought to be treated. his families were the ones that fell through the cracks in the system, the ones who appeared all well and good on the outside, but in reality it was like a 180 turn for the worst. being a foster kid was hell, graham would never wish that kind of hell on his worst enemy on a bad day. that's how horrible his experiences had been.

-----still it wasn't something that he openly liked to talk about. really, who would? who would want to own up to being in such misery for all their life. the way he saw it all, it was in the past. sure his life had been hell but that was behind him now and hopefully something he would never again have to endure. so why dredge it up? why bring back to the surface everything about his life that had made him miserable in the first place. his childhood was like a scab to the flesh. why tug on the scab and bring back the pain of that old wound when if you just gave it time, the flesh would heal and appear as if there had never been a wound there in the first place? that was the way graham liked to look at it, as an analogy, not really literally. he liked to think that the memories of his childhood was something that was healing. it was in the past and even though it hurt, with time the pain would fade and he would be left with nothing but a dull reminder of what he came from. why bring that up and just enhance the pain he was trying to fervently to forget? because graham really did want to forget. he wasn't the kind of guy to let things really get to him but after being exposed to this his entire life, it really wasn't all that easy to forget. minor pain that had been caused to him was forgotten, a little snicker from a well to do person that passed him in the hallways at school was forgotten, even the catty words said by his sister upon his first arrival to his new home had been forgotten, but a lifetime's worth of pain wasn't an easy thing to overcome. it took time, but the more he ignored it and the more time he gave himself to get over it, the better the outcome would be in the end. that was all he knew to be true and he had to stick to that.

-----graham nodded a bit as she spoke. yeah he had to be older than her, but it wasn't by much that he was. sadly, he was the same age as his sister. the only reason why it was sad was the fact that he was a year behind her. well that was technically speaking. in all reality graham was light years behind anyone at valkyrie. "guess you're not as perceptive as you originally thought." graham said offhandedly in a manner that was more an observation than an insult. what reason would he have to insult her? at least to his ears it didn't sound like an insult. she looked like something was really on her mind now. if it hadn't been obvious before then it really was now. but graham wasn't the type to really point it out. it didn't seem to be hurting her and she'd obviously been fine before she'd met him, so why go through the effort? besides, talking to other people about their issues, when he couldn't even talk about them himself, seemed very hypocritcal. he hadn't expected such a change in subjects, and this new one was making him squirm. talking about home in general was an iffy subject. which did she want to hear about, the orphanage, the many foster homes, or the newest place that he hadn't even really settled into yet? none of which were all that great topics of discussion. "could say that..." graham trailed off, glancing away from her. "force of habit." was his only response to her quiet question. it was true, without getting into much detail which was exactly the way he liked it. "why do you enjoy prodding so much?" he asked innocently, happy to be turning the subject away from himself for a second time.

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status • finished
words • 1524.
tagged • scarlett !
clothes • click
listening to • long road to ruin - foo fighters.
notes • sorry it's late. i blame college.

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[miley]

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ONE MINUTE I HELD THE KEY
N E X T T H E W A L L S W E R E C L O S E D O N M E
_________________________________________________

----- The pier was basically the only place in the world, or at least in valkyrie-she'd never been to any where besides here, let's say florida-, that could keep her mind off of the things that just kept popping up in her head. she always thought of the pier as like, a second home. yeah, weird, just listen. this was the first place she came to after her grandfather left. this was actually the only place that her grandpa hadn't taken them. he usually took her to the beach if anything. he didn't like the pier. he'd been her before, when scarlett's dad was still alive, and didn't really take a liking to it. he was an older person, and seeing as though there were older people here, he just didn't see any point in being up her besides buying something. he never came here to shop, never even really been in the stores. he tried coming here, only to leave ten minutes later. he got bored, and it was too loud for him. but, of course, he chose the worst timing to come. he came in the afternoon, when coming to the pier in the morning would have been much more comfortable here. he couldn't stand teenagers, he was always complaining about how bad they were, how disrespectful. gramps used to always tell scar to never become one of those teens that went around disrespecting their elders. he was kind of a stickler for those kinds of things. respect was key for him. he never would associate with people who wouldn't look him straight in the eye. they never seemed to be paying attention, so he never gave them any. they were just kids, young. something he most definitely wasn't anymore. he always thought that if he was strict with even on kid then it might just rub off on some others. uh, wrong. if anything the kid would just roll their eyes and walk away. gramps was basically a teacher. he acted like one, you know the ones that always have to know if your paying attention. the ones that have to always lecture just to make them feel like maybe they made a dent in these kids thick skulls to do better at school and not let the other kids lead their lives for them. it was definitely something scarlett missed. she was only six when he start in on his real lectures. he'd catch her doing something that she wasn't suppose to, like leave a light on for example. yes, something that some would start him off on an hour long lecture. the man was nuts! he'd talk about conserving energy. though, at the time, she didn't really care whether or not she was conserving anything. but, as the years passed and he became more strict, she started caring. after about ten, she always started turning off the light. not only because it would conserve energy, but it would also conserve her hears from another lecture. something she would gladly do any day of the week if it stopped that. now, it was a completely different story. scarlett would gladly have another one of those lectures if it meant she'd be able to hear his voice.

----- It has been a few months since the last talk her and her grandfather had. he told her before he left for florida that he would call her every single day. he told her he would, he promised. and now look where she was. lonely, and trapped in that dorm room alone, waiting by the phone for his call. she was getting desprete. she's called, she's sent letters and not a one has been returned. it didn't make since! her grandfather had never lied to her before. he never told her one thing and did the complete oposite. he wasn't like that. but, maybe florida had changed him. maybe, he was happy, too happy in a life without her to want to be reminded of her. reminded of the reason he left, the reason he was having so much fun without her. scarlett was probably a distant memory now, if a memory at all to him. he probably has completely forgotten about her. she was probably just some kid he couldn't put a face to, one of the kids that bothered him so much he had to leave valkyrie, and leave her behind. moving to a completely different state saved him for having to remember her and all of the things she had done to him. she took away his little girl, she'd killed his daughter and replaced her. she was an exchange for her. she was taken away from her family just to bring scarlett here. just to bring her in this world to kill her father for depressing him so bad he had to resort to drugs! pushed her grandfather into another state, just to be left alone and unwanted. basically, scarlett was useless. she was brought here just to kill her only family, mentally. she was like a wave of depression that washed over everyone that came into her life. you'd think that right there would keep her as far away from people as possible, but she was selfish. she didn't want to be alone. she didn't want to have to think, she just wanted to be inside someone else's head, at least for a while. once she'd gotten her fix, maybe she could be selfless enough to leave them alone and save them from what she would no doubt bring on them. maybe, she did this to save them. she always thought that, if she took someone out of their depression, and then backed off, then they could be happy. they would be free to be happy and forget about scarlett. like everyone else has. maybe, that was all she was good for. if it was...it still wasn't enough.

----- Well, he was right. scarlett thought she was a pretty perceptive person. she always noticed everything. well, not everything apparently. she knew she'd notice enough. probably wasn't if she didn't even notice someone like graham. scar was almost one hundred percent sure, if she had really been looking, sophomore or not, she would have notice him. he was one of those people you just noticed. at least, to her, now that she actually had. it was strange, from that feeling, that she had completely overlooked him. graham wasn't the average joe at valkyrie. not to scar he wasn't. he had a sweetness to him that some of the guys here just didn't have. he also had that tough look to him. not fake, like the exteriors the guys try to play around her, something was really tough about him. she could definitely tell that something had made him into the kind of strong person she saw right in front of her. that, only boosted her interest in his past. "yeah, i guess so." she laughed, giving him a subtle smile before turning to look out towards the pier once more. she quickly trudged her mind for any sign of him in school, but sadly, saw none. wow, she must really be blind if she hadn't seen such a h...graham... "well, old habits die hard, i guess." she said, now smiling out at the pier, not looking at him until he asked, "why do you enjoy prodding so much?" scarlett's eyes snapped up at graham's in shock. was she prodding, already. asking about home life quietness, and she was prodding. maybe to other people that was prodding, but, to scar, she wasn't even close. she hadn't even asked about family yet! now that, to her, was prodding. it was usually the sore subject of most people, including herself. scar looked around nervously as she searched for the right answer. she couldn't very well say, 'because, i'm selfish, i like to hear other people's problems to avoid my own. so, do you have any just to relieve mine.' no, she couldn't, he would stand up and leave! scarlett sighed quietly, trying to relax herself. this was strange, he was already noticing her prodding, how is she going to turn it back on him. he wasn't prodding like her! the closes he'd been was asking about her birthday plans. "um..." she crocked, swallowing her now dry throat. she'd had her mouth hanging open it seemed. "i didn't know i was." she said innocently, sheepishly looking at his eyes. "i mean, i guess if i am...i'm sorry." she said. she licked her dry lips, pushed her hair back, and decided to lighten up the mood a little with a simple joke. jokes always broke tension. playfully she smiled back at him, "force of habit." she said simply, showing her teeth as a small chuckle escaped her now, less, dry lips. maybe it could get her off the hook. she wanted to say something, but, she decided not to chance it. no telling what questions would come out.

NOTES TOTALLY FINE! MINES LATE TOO, I'M SORRY,
I HAD TO CLEAN YESTERDAY AND WAS TOO TIRED AFTERWARDS TO GET ON. SO I GAVE YOU AN EXTRA LONG POST LOL. WORDS 1,501
TAGGED GRAHAM MCCARTHY! OUTFIT HERE!
CREDIT BY HEY BAYBAY !? AT CAUTION !

[Graham McCarthy]

GRAHAM BRYANT MCCARTHY
VALK STREETS, THE PIER, MORNING, SEPTEMBER 2007

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-----it was a rarer point in his life when anyone showed graham kindness. it was never something he expected, nor was it anything he wanted at this point for a number of reasons. for one, it really did just make life harder for him. when things were bad, and we're talking really down in the dumps wish you couldn't get out alive kind of bad, well graham just knew how to handle himself then. he knew that survival meant he either needed to stand and fight or he need to find the nicest, fastest car and get his butt out of there. that was easy for him. things were black and white. when things were bad there were only two options. the same could not be said when people appeared to be nice. there were so many shades of grey to being nice as opposed to being mean. graham wasn't just used to the ego-shattering kinds of verbal abuse that you saw. no the people in his life had been physically cruel to him. not like he didn't look any worst for wear now, but that hadn't been the case back then. graham had always been the kids with the bruises. whether he got them at home or on the streets was a whole different matter. graham wasn't an angry kid, which was a miracle with all things considered. he was just strange in the eyes of anyone else. he was quiet which immediately made him suspicious, he stayed to himself, and he preoccupied himself with whatever suited him. mostly it just consisted of graham sitting around outside the house just watching people pass by or mingle around their house. apparently people didn't much enjoy his "antics" mostly because they just never took the time to get to know him. so there were often a few fights in his days, most of which he never even retaliated in. what was the point? what made a beating on the street any different from a beating at home.

-----just thinking about it, it would seem as though graham should be one of the meanest most screwed up kids to walk the planet. it was creepy the way none of this had really gotten to him. deep down it had, obviously. there was something there deep down that was broken and in jeopardy of never getting fixed, but did that mean that it showed on the outside? of course not. graham could be the poster child for control if he tried. aside from his inescapable need to hijack a car whenever he was stressed enough to run when he was threatened, he hardly ever acted out. hell it took raquelle practically shoving him out the door for graham to even go to the pier in the first place. what on earth was going to change that? as it stood so far...um, nothing. graham had no complaints about his life now even if it seemed one of the most dull, boring, snore-inducing lives to ever come across. because no matter what his life looked like now, it would always be better than it had ever been before. as long as he wasn't being stuffed in a closet or being beaten within an inch of his life by a drunk foster father, nothing could possibly be worse. graham had a very tangible fear of that past life, so much so that he would rather jump in front of a moving bus than to ever have to be in that situation again. he couldn't feel anger toward a situation when he feared it so completely. hell the only reason why he'd ever been found on the streets in the first place was because he'd run away from one home or another. eventually it had just gotten to the point where he'd cut out the middle man entirely and had carefully stayed away from the police in order to keep from getting assigned to yet another foster home. he would never go back. no matter what you said or did to try and force him back to that life, graham would never go back. not while he was still breathing.

-----it wasn't to say that another foster home couldn't be better. he could get lucky and wind up in a place that actually treated him nice for a change, but that wasn't something he'd ever have to worry about anymore. graham was no longer just a foster kid, unwanted and unprotected by anyone but himself. now he was an adopted kid. he had a place he could actually call home now with decent people to look up to as parental figures. what a change that was. to be in a place he didn't feel the need to run away from the moment his 'parent's' backs were turned. he was free to be himself and what was even better than that, he was encouraged to do so. maybe it was this new found freedom that made him hesitant to tell scarlett anything. maybe it was the fact that none of this really was her business to begin with, but either way, it didn't make anything any easier to talk about. graham knew that he wasn't a wealth of information. he made a point to be that way because it was what he chose to be, but her prodding into his life and trying to get out his deepest and darkest secrets or his reasonings was just making him uncomfortable. his definition of prodding was probably different from hers. graham saw any line of questioning as prodding no matter how innocent the conversation may be. he hadn't meant to catch her off guard in such a way, but if her questions had been innocent, why weren't his? "it's fine," he said in response to her apology, "you can't help it or whatever..." he looked over at her smile and turned his attention back to the ocean. "i'm not used to talking much. you kinda scare me." there, at least he was being honest, unaware to how blunt he was actually being.

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status • finished
words • 1200
tagged • scarlett !
clothes • click
listening to • -- - --.
notes • so sorry about how late this is.

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[miley]

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ONE MINUTE I HELD THE KEY
N E X T T H E W A L L S W E R E C L O S E D O N M E
_________________________________________________

----- Scarlett was just a naturally nosy person. sure it took a few years to really get to the level she is now. she can't really help it. it was a problem, she knew that. she actually was completely aware that she was being a prodding annoyance. she hated that it bothered graham, which was obvious don't you think? but, she couldn't really have a casual conversation without getting to really know someone. sorry, but that was how she was. she couldn't say hello, ask about hobbies and your favorite color. she just wasn't programmed that way. to be honest, nor would she want to. she liked getting to know people like no one else does. she loves to get to see sides that they don't show others. she loves to help. scarlett loves the feeling of need she gets when someone actually opens up to her. like she is useful for something other than to make someone miserable. she loves that she can take someone's pain away just by asking a few questions, getting a few answers, and listening. no wonder she wanted to be a shrink. she just wanted to get to know graham. she was kind of drawn to him, in a way. she was beyond curious by this point. he was the strong silent type, that much was obvious. something he was hiding told her that it was big and important and really would let her understand him more. but, she also knew that unlike other people she's dealt with, he was going to be a much harder one to get information out of. but, because scarlett was so curious, she wasn't going to give up that easily.

----- Though scarlett knew graham wasn't one to open up, she still would try. sure, not anything too big. just a few little simple questions. favorite color, favorite tv show, anything along the lines of innocent little questions. if she ever wanted to talk to him again she'd have to go by his pace. if he was a slow trusting person, well then, maybe that was how slow scar had to be. see, told you she was just too sweet. she loves to keep people in there comfort zone. though, it was obvious that now graham wasn't. scarlett wasn't exactly sure why she was like this. she didn't talk about her past, why should she prod someone else to talk about there's? she was trying to force those memories away, that's why. but what if that person was doing the same. that would just mean scar was being insensitive. something she truly wasn't. she cared about people's limits and how much they really wanted to disclose. she wasn't heartless in any way of someone's wishes. she knew when it was time to tone it down. though, even if she did know, she still pushed a little too far sometimes. it costs sometimes but for the most part she was pretty good at keeping behind the yellow lines. at least until she's gained enough trust to push beyond them. scarlett hoped that she could gain graham's trust. she wanted his trust, but at this rate, that didn't seem like it was possible. at least not yet. so she was selfish? who wasn't? she cared, she wasn't one of those people who just wanted to get in someone's business and then go blab it around town. scarlett would never do that to someone! no one could make her. she was selfish, but she wasn't a back stabber. she cared about people's feelings and she cared about their problems. she was selfish because she was doing this, feeling others emotions, to keep from feeling her own. but, that didn't mean she still didn't give a damn after wards. she was a friend, a true one at that. she cared whether that person trusted her, and she guarded secrets with her life. hell, she was already guarding her own. she could deal with a few more. she was trustworthy. she was demanding and a little unbearable. but, never once was she untrustworthy. she wanted to show him that. but, graham doesn't seem like the type to take your word for it. he didn't seem like he took anyone's word for anything. scar could see trust issues in just the way he talked to her, his body language. he wasn't going to be a tell for all. he was going to require work and time. something scar could do, no questions asked. actually, in doing so, there would be a lot of questions asked.

----- Scar sucked on her lip as she listened to graham. she stared at him before he looked out into the sea again. a smile. she liked seeing him smile, a total of three times...no she wasn't counting. she nodded slightly. her eyes almost popped out of their sockets at his bluntness. she was scaring him? well, so long to them becoming friends. though, she wasn't surprised, it was still was weird that she'd scared him. sure she seemed like she was physophrinic she still wasn't scary was she. okay, so she was scary happy and then serious and has been for the most part. okay...so she was scary. she could deal with that. she smiled, biting hard on her lip to keep her self from laughing. she tried, but failed. a small laugh escaped before she held her mouth. she was scary? wow, she'd gotten a lot, but scary...that was new. and extremely hilarious. she didn't enjoy being found scary, but, it was still something she couldn't let bother her. she had to at least pretend that it didn't bother her. it was more funny than disturbing. she could deal with him thinking she was scary, as long as he gave her a chance to redeem herself. she released her lip and retorted, "okay...so i'm scary to you?" she nodded, trying to pretend that it was normal. like she got this every day. hopefully she wasn't thought as scary to everyone. "well, i'm sorry if i scared you." she said playfully letting her hand rest on her chest, in a fake apology. she was sorry, but not that sorry. "how can i be less scary sir?" she teased as on of her hands rested on his shoulder. was that okay? she didn't know, she didn't even really think about it...

NOTES wow, this one was short. what a surprise lol. WORDS 1066
TAGGED GRAHAM MCCARTHY! OUTFIT HERE!
CREDIT BY HEY BAYBAY !? AT CAUTION !

[Graham McCarthy]

GRAHAM BRYANT MCCARTHY
VALK STREETS, THE PIER, MORNING, SEPTEMBER 2007

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-----graham couldn't possibly be a busy body if he wanted to be. in fact he was the farthest thing from one you could probably get. he didn't really have it in him to do so. the boy wasn't much of a talker, if you hadn't already guessed, and it was relatively obvious that being around even one person for a length of time was difficult for him. he was better with silences than he was with chatter. it made him a decent listener, or at least he assumed it did. graham had never really gotten a chance to test the theory. he'd never been in one place long enough to try. the longest he'd ever known someone was when he'd lived in one of his first foster homes. he had been there for a year but it wasn't the kind of environment where the family sat around a campfire in the back yard and sang kumbaya. no instead the foster kids were forced to live in squalor, working around the house of their foster family cleaning and fetching beers. it was a modern day cinderella story only this one didn't really end with a happily ever after. this one ended with more foster homes, living on the street, and being picked up by the police on a daily basis. none of that seemed like the fairy tale ending to graham's life even if his story was looking up as of a year or so ago. that didn't mean that his every memory of the past didn't haunt him like the living dead, every street sign or group of kids playing in the park a reminder of what he'd never had. could you blame a kid for being just a tad bitter? he was lucky he hadn't ended up like the classic street child. born and raised in the violent streets and grows up to be just like the life he grew up in, cold, hard, etc. graham was lucky that all he'd gotten out of his hell was a social retardation and an innate ability to hijack cars whenever he was stressed.

-----graham's ability to steal cars wasn't really common knowledge, not even in the mccarthy household. it wasn't even as if his new found "skill" was a way of getting back at the system, the wealthy, or the man. for lack of a better word, graham couldn't care less about what people had more than him. let's face it just about everyone in the whole united states had more than graham did. there was only a small majority of people who even knew what his life remotely felt like and some of those so called "hobos" had even made this life decision by choice. graham hadn't had that luxury. even if he'd had the choice, most homeless still couldn't compare to what he'd gone through. they'd never been born into this. they'd lost it all in the stock market, made an investing error, or married some woman who'd stolen their entire fortune in a divorce. something as trivial as a divorce could leave you on the streets. it was a scary thought but it was better than some of the other possibilities. at least if that had been graham's case, he would have had some taste of the good life. if he ever had, it had been when he was too young to enjoy it or even take it for granted. now that he was older, all that graham could remember were the bad times. all he could ever think back on were the beatings, the cold nights, or his near-death trip to valkyrie hospital. so he had this big old sob story, the one way that he could tame it, the one way he could stop feeling pain or stop the onslaught of bad memories, was to steal a car. graham hadn't found out about his klepto talent until his early teens when on an impulse he'd just jumped into the car of one of his foster fathers and driven off. he'd wrecked the thing just outside the city limits but it had given him enough of a head start to hit the highway and start making it toward the next city. ever since then ever time graham had felt the need to leave he found a car and just left.

-----he'd gotten better over the years, learning through trial and error which wires worked to do what. eventually it had gotten to the point where it hardly took a conscious effort. now it was simple. he would get the driver's side door open, pop the wheel panel, zip, zap, zing and he was off. it was more or less just a way to relieve anxiety. though he didn't flat out return a car to it's owner and say "hey dude i'm sorry, i just had to get away" he never would actually do any damage to a car. that part he had gotten better about. he would jack a car only when he was at his most stressed and once the stress was gone he would park the car on the side of a road, wipe it for prints, and walk away on foot. he supposed not many could do that, but then again most people didn't steal cars as a method of therapy. unlike the third degree he was getting from scarlett. graham had never been in a shrink's office before but he imagined that if he had, it very well would have gone similarly to think with the prodding and the questions and trying to figure out what it was about him that gave him problems or made him tick. it was strange, but at the same time it was borderline comforting. in some strange, possibly twisted way scarlett was nearly desperate to hear what was happening in his life, to find out anything about his life. though it was off putting how she was going about it and how many question he felt he had to answer, a part of him almost felt like she genuinely cared about the answers and outcome...weird. he didn't like the way she was taking his words though. when he'd said she scared him it wasn't as if he saw her as the boogeyman, just that she intimidated him. "there's no need to make fun of me." he said defensively as she touched him. well he didn't jump back like his shoulder was on fire, but he hadn't expected it either. once again she was catching him off guard. "you're intimidating. that's all." gingerly he lifted his hand to pluck hers from his shoulder and replace it on her lap before quickly removing his hand. "look i'm not used to talking to people so forgive me if i act strange to you, but you being here talking to me is strange to me." he prayed to god she wouldn't ask him about it because really how do you dodge that? true that he could get up and walk away at any time but even someone as socially inept as him knew that was something to be considered rude.

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status • finished
words • 1400
tagged • scarlett !
clothes • click
listening to • -- - --.
notes • --.

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[miley]

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ONE MINUTE I HELD THE KEY
N E X T T H E W A L L S W E R E C L O S E D O N M E
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----- Scarlett had a problem, that much was certain. what kind of person walks up to anyone and begins a conversation? scarlett that's who. it could be a serial killer or a kidnapper, but none of that ever crossed her mind. she never thought things through, if it wasn't already obvious. once she spots that person that she is interested in or has a sense that they need her, well, that's it. there was no cautiousness on her part. she never feared someone because, honestly, she didn't care. as long as you look like a target for her, then that's it! scarlett was a hunter she had to catch her prey or she would starve. if she had a family, then they would to. but, since she didn't that wasn't much of a priority. it was actually the reason she does this! she can't starve herself. well, socially anyways. she could go without food. she'd done it before. when her grandfather left her. she didn't eat for a few days, that was before she began to see that she was withering away to nothing. she'd lost a lot of weight then, she was a strong person, but she just couldn't eat. it was like for those days she had her life sucked away from her. she didn't like that feeling, and opted to never do it again. she wasn't dumb, at least not with her health. she was however dumb in deed. dumb enough to think that maybe, someone like her grandfather, actually loved her. she was naive. but, because she knows that she isn't loved, hunting is her only way of survival. without the hunt, she loses more of herself each day. what then?

----- Scar smiled tentatively. she made fun of him? wow, scar was screwing up left and right here. she opened her mouth to say sorry, but he'd already began talking. scar's eyes were locked on her hand in his. he was touching her! she tried not to let it go to her head. it wasn't like he was holding her hand. or just touching her. he was moving her hand from his shoulder. her shocked eyes followed until his left, settling on her hand that now sat on her lap. wow, that was...weird. hey, at least she knew he didn't like to be touched. something she wouldn't forget. although she'd pushed the shock from her mind, she still was now serene. she didn't mean to make him uncomfortable. which is exactly what she did. at the same time, it made her wonder why. granted some people just don't like to be touched. no psychological thing about it, but something told scarlett otherwise. she'd already been asking too personal questions for graham. although she was being cautious with her questions, she still was way too curious. but, she had to compose herself, no need in bluntly asking him the background story of why he didn't let people touch him. he'd be running for the hills if she asked, or get extremely pissed off! scarlett didn't want to take that chance.

----- Wrenching her hands into fists she listened. she wasn't angry, though her hands being held so tight on her lap probably told otherwise. but, she was trying to restrain herself. she had this thing about touching people. she knew at some point she'd end up touching him again, completely absent minded and embarrass herself even more. she just decided to give him a serene look and smile, as little as she had to. she still had to make it convincing, right? "oh, i'm intimidating?" she scuffed looking out to the pier. for some reason she resented that! she was intimidating...was she? sure her being a social butterfly and him being...not that, she still couldn't see how she could possibly be that intimidating to him. she didn't even show off her personality enough to judge of that yet! clenching her teeth together she took a breath and turned around to look at him in the eyes. she wasn't really sure why but, she said, "okay, well, if i'm so strange...what about you? why can't you say more than five words to someone?" she'd said it, no way to take it back. almost as if she realized how mean she must sound her eyes widened. she was shocked! how could she say that? she wasn't mad, no, she was just surprised to be intimidating anyone. much less someone like graham! she didn't want to be intimidating, but that's just what she was being! she was being rude, she already knew graham wasn't that experienced in talking to people, much less someone as nutty as herself. she unclenched her hands and reached out for his shoulder, but at the last second pulled back, remembering he didn't like being touched. she instead clasped them over her mouth. her eyes still wide with realization. she could feel the horrid look on her face. "i'm sorry graham, i didn't..." she trailed off, letting her hands fall from her mouth and looked down at her lap. sorry for being a bitch? yeah, that. she already knew it would be what he'd say. she swallowed a knot in her throat and bit her lip. wow, she really was screwing up left and right!

NOTES omg! sorry, i completely forgot, i don't even know how it happened. test week for me, i'm sorry i know this is so late. don't hate me lol 8DWORDS 884 wow. that's low for a change. next time it will be more decent. sorry, i'm a little tired ha.
TAGGED GRAHAM MCCARTHY! OUTFIT HERE!
CREDIT BY HEY BAYBAY !? AT CAUTION !

[Graham McCarthy]

GRAHAM BRYANT MCCARTHY
VALK STREETS, THE PIER, MORNING, SEPTEMBER 2007

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-----was sit really such a stretch for graham to consider someone intimidating? to graham it didn’t so out there and crazy, but then again there were a lot of “normal” things that he did consider a little out there. take for example going out with friends. first and foremost, graham didn’t have any. he could remember the days where he was walking through the streets of a town and he would see guys in a backyard playing games of football or just hanging out. graham didn’t have any of those experiences in his life. he didn’t have spur of the moment games of stickball with neighbors. he didn’t have neighbors. even when he’d been in homes, foster homes, there had never been a chance to go outside and make friends. when you beat a child, you didn’t want them going out in the light of day so that everyone could see the finger or fist-sized bruises. you didn’t want your kid hanging out unharmed yesterday and after a night come back out with black eyes. so graham never got the chance to even get out of the house to make friends. every foster home had been the same. one bastard “father” after another and one push over or spineless woman to play the role of “mother.” none of it made sense, especially how graham could be so unlucky to get one of these crappy homes after another. it was jus the luck of the draw or something.

-----of course he was jealous of the kids that got to grow up in stable, or even broken homes, with at least one caring parental figure. most kids didn’t know how lucky they had it. a warm, dry bed to sleep in at night that you didn’t have to share with three other kids. how about a warm breakfast in the morning cooked by someone you loved, someone you never suspected of putting something foreign in your food just to make you sick. or a person you could chill with on the couch after a long day and enjoy a show with. graham didn’t have that. he never had the kind of luxuries other kids had. luxuries that they undoubtedly took for granted. even friendship was a luxury that graham didn’t have. in a foster home there wasn’t a sense of camaraderie. it was you against the foster parents. they made sure that you never felt anything toward one of your fellow fosterees. if two kids began hanging out more or worked together to gang up on a foster parent, it was dealt with harshly. basically you never got the opportunity to make a friend. they made sure of it and they did quite well. most often times there was never even a chance for you to go out and make a friend that way. graham envied a lot of people just because they had those people in their lives that they’d known since they were in diapers, people who often knew you better than you knew yourself. all of his life graham had gone without any of that, and it certainly hadn’t helped him now that he was out of that life and into something a little more “normal.”

-----so he did even know what friendship would look like if it slapped him in the face, but nevertheless as a child he had wanted it. now that he was older and so used to living on his own, it was almost a completely different matter. sure he figured he could be open to making friends somewhere down the line, but what had once been a source of envy and jealousy just didn’t matter to him anymore. graham had long ago given up having someone close to him that he could trust and he didn’t know how likely that was to change. trust was always going to be an issue for him, that much he knew. it was always going to be a battle to get under his skin and find out what really made him tick just because he knew how vulnerable that would make him. that kind of vulnerability did not come easy to him. not like it would for other people. it just wasn’t his cup of tea and it would probably be years before he even considered really, truly letting people in. scarlett didn’t make it any easier for him to try to trust her. she was loud, and yes she was intimidating, and she...she was balling her fists. what the hell was up with that? was she going to hit him? all of a sudden a slew of terrible memories involving fists hit him, more than would on a normal basis. he shook his head slightly to rid himself of the thoughts but only succeeded in quieting them slightly. ”is that really so hard to believe?” graham said in reply to her scoff. he raised his eyebrows in question but she turned away to look at...something on the horizon. when she turned back, graham was surprised by what she’d said. really surprised.

-----he couldn’t bring himself to say anything in that moment of silence. what do you really say to that? ”don’t.” graham said in a manner that was in no way stern, cutting off her apology. ”look i know you mean well, coming over to a stranger and striking up a conversation, but you have no idea who i am. i know you get off being able to be an ear for people who need to talk but i don’t need to. my personality should have told you that. i don’t talk because i don’t need to, and i don’t need to tell you a damn thing.” he quieted but only for a moment before his voice softened. ”i’ve gone through hell to get to where i am today so i’m truly sorry if i’m not your kind of talkative, but then again i’m not anyone’s kind of anything.” he stood from his seat, brushing his hands over his legs as he did so. ”it was nice meeting you and all, but i’ve already stayed too long. have a good day scarlett, and...maybe i’ll see you around.” he said with a nod as he turned himself in the direction of the parking lot and walked away.

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status • finished
words • 1291.
tagged • scarlett !
clothes • click
listening to • -- - --.
notes • figured this was a good stopping place. we can start up a new thread if you like. maybe around school?

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