Not Tonight [Charlie^2}

[charliemcpherson]

“Well that sucks because I'll end up hurting you."

She was pushing him away, just like he knew she would. There was some kind of barrier around her, some history she couldn’t escape, he knew that had to be it and still he was so clueless. He hated putting his emotions out there like that, letting her have all this control over him. He sighed, looking down at her. ”You don’t have to though,” he started, not knowing where he was going with the comment. She really didn’t need to hurt, at least not yet, in the long run someone always ends up getting hurt, even if they don’t deserve it. ”I’d never hurt you Charlie,” he shook his head, his blonde hair shaking with the movement. ”You wouldn’t deserve it, and you should understand that, never would you have deserved it.”

He watched as her eyes teared up and he wanted nothing more to hold her in his arms forever, tell her it was okay, let her know it was okay to like him back. He wanted to sit there and kiss her like he had never kissed anyone else. He wanted her to understand that he cared more then just in this moment, that her face ran through his mind all the time. He wanted her to feel the same way, hold his hand and have it mean something, smile up at him and think about how he cared so much for her.

”No one has to get hurt.”

[charlie]

Don't have to? Well she didn't have to be alive anymore. She gave a small smile, "But I would." She nodded a bit, "Deserve it...I mean." She said with all honesty. She had done a lot of things, and cut many people off that she shouldn't have done. She had said things, and slept with people. She had been with almost every kind of person. She wondered for a moment if Charlie knew about those things or if he'd care. But for right now at least, she didn't want to care about anything that could happen tomorrow. "But you wouldn't." She added with a smile, as if to convince him. Charlie, he wouldn't deserve it. He'd been a gentleman the whole way through.

She thought the situation over in her head and gave a small frustrated groan as she lifted her arms and wrapped them around his neck and shoulders, standing on her tip toes a bit to hug him. "What is the world to do with us?" She said with a smallest hint of amusement in her voice. It was simply a sweet hug. She hadn't hugged anyone like this in a long time, and at that moment she realized how much she missed having her body pushed against someone elses without any hands on her ass or seductive whispering. The hug last more than she meant it to but she stood there in this hug, a hug that meant something.

[charliemcpherson]

He simply shook his head as she told him that she would deserve it. He didn’t care about what may have happened in the past, her reputation around school, all of that didn’t matter to him. As she told him he wouldn’t deserve, he smirked, choosing not to answer her once again. In actual fact he may not really deserve, he had yet to actually break a heart, for someone who liked relationships he had little experience.

As she wrapped her arms around him, embracing him, his smirk turned into a smile, and he returned the favor, hugging her back. "What is the world to do with us?” He chuckled lightly, noting the sound of amusement in her voice. ”I don’t know,” he answered, leaning back, looking into her eyes and shrugging his shoulders, the smiled still plastered on his face. ”I guess we’ll just have to wait and see,” he rose an eyebrow at her. ”That’s if you want to stick around for a bit?” he phrased it as a question, as if she wasn’t already here to stay with him. They didn’t need to sleep together, he didn’t care, he just wanted to spend time with her.

[charlie]

When he-charlie smiled down at her, she couldn't help but smile back. She pulled out of the hug. Out of the hug was a strange feeling. She had gotten used to his arms around her. Him touching her gently, not roughly like most. She reached back for his hand to remain in contact and lead him over to the bed. She didn't sit and the bed though. She sat down on the floor next to it, leaning against it. Charlie felt the bed might make her lose control which was something she couldn't do, not now. She and Charlie M. had moments and she didn't want them to end just yet.

" So..." She began, not sure how to spend time with a guy who wasn't mark when it wasn't semi-sexual. She crossed her legs and smiled a bit amusd, "Heh What do people usually talk about in situations like this?" She asked looking up at him, she patted the ground next to him, implying she wanted him to sit next to her. "Movies? Sports? But if it's the latter, I should warn you...I'm clueless when it comes to sports." She added. She wanted to talk to him about something meaningful, but part of her knew that wasn't smart, a part of her also feared that if he knew, he wouldn't be nearly so sweet.

[charliemcpherson]

He followed her, his hand tangled with hers, his eyes watching her carefully as she moved to the bed, sitting down in front of it instead of on it. She was beautiful, and he couldn’t help but smile at her. "Heh What do people usually talk about in situations like this?" Charlie M moved over, sitting down beside the she-Charlie, leaning against the edge of the bed, his legs stretched out in front of him. ”Well, we could talk about movies or sports, we can talk about other stuff,” he shrugged not wanting stuff to get awkward. ”Or we could talk about you, Charlie,” he looked over at her, taking her hand in his.

”Who is Charlie Wood?” He wanted to know about her. Right now he only knew the general basics, nothing that couldn’t be found out from reading body language, but he wanted to know the details. He wanted to know the kind of music she listened too, her favourite colour, all that kind of stuff. Charlie was fully prepared to tell her anything she wanted to know, although his story was far from interesting.

[charlie]

She looked up at him as he sat down. She turned so that her side was facing the bed and she was facing Charlie. She had her legs crossed and her hands in the lap, including the one hold his hand. She shrugged as he asked her, who she was. She usually would respond with somehing along the lines of 'the worlds next marylin monroe' or 'sex-goddess' but she doubted Charlie was the type of guy to fall for something as meaningless as that. So, what should she say? "I'm...a girl who...." She paused thinking for a moment, "likes Rufus Wainwright and the New Pornographers." She said not knowing what else to say. She had always concidered her taste in music unique so that's where she started.

"When I figure out more, I'll let you know." She said with a smile. She looked down at his hand, opening it and tracing the lines on his palm. "And what about you? Who is Charlie McPherson?" She asked, "Other than the nice guy, I mean?" She added with a grin.

((cruddy post sorry,))

[charliemcpherson]

The conversation turned around, focusing on him and well, he didn’t mind, shrugging he was also unsure of how to answer. His whole life was about sports, it was his past, present, future, anything he ever did was meant to benefit his sporting needs, well almost everything. ”Hmm, who is Charlie McPherson?” he laughed lightly as she made the nice guy comment. ”Pfft, other then the nice guy? Nah, I’m just a guy who spends way too much time playing sports and caring about what other people think,” he shrugged his shoulders again, looking down at his hand as she traced the lines on his palm. It was his plague, the constant thought of what others were thinking. Like right now, he had no idea what was running through the she-Charlie’s head. Did she care about him like he did her? Or was this all an act? He didn’t want to believe the latter but still, he couldn’t help but wonder.

ooc;; nuh-uh, yours was amazing as always xD this one on the other hand sucks, sorry 'bout that. [/size]

[charlie]

Charlie smiled, looking down at the ground for a moment, "If I were you I wouldn't worry too much about what people think, they all seem to love you." She said. And she meant that too. Everyone who mention Charlie M to he seemed to have nothing but good things to say about him. She looked up at him with a sad-ish smile. "Then again, I don't care what people think about me at all." that was such a lie and Charlie knew it.

"I couldn't care," She said with a small laugh, "Too many people think of me as a dirty whore....or a play thing." She added with a small shrugg. "I guess I always assumed, the less they think of you, the less you have to lose right?" She smiled up at him, "So how about music? I always thought that you can tell a lot about a person from the music they listen to."

[charliemcpherson]

”It’s good that you don’t care, ‘cause you really shouldn’t. But I don’t think you’re a dirty…” his voice trailed off and his eyes flicked to his lap, before meeting hers once again. He didn’t think of her like that, not now, not ever and he wanted her to know that. He laughed at her “the less they think of you” comment, shaking his head disapprovingly. ”You shouldn’t think like that,” although he wasn’t one to talk, he had however just admitted that he cared about whatever people thought. It wasn’t in the most obvious way, but still there was always the nagging desire to please other people deep in his mind.

”Music? Well, it all really depends what I’m doing,” he smiled. ”Like when I’m working out, I like to listen to stuff like Kanye and Jay Z,” he music taste wasn’t something necessarily defined by one genre, he was open to anything. ”But usually I listen to stuff like the Chili Peppers, the Killers or Oasis,” he nodded, noting his favourite bands of the moment. ”So, what does that say about me?” he rose an eyebrow, curious about her answer.

[charlie]

”It’s good that you don’t care, ‘cause you really shouldn’t. But I don’t think you’re a dirty…”

Charlie smiled a bit as he said this. She uncrossed her legs and bent them up to her chest, hugging them a bit Her feet firmly on the ground now. After a pause and a moment, she said in a quiet voice, "Thank you." She rested her chin onto her knees and looked at him. What was this? Him and her were having moments and altough part of her wanted to run, screaming out of the room and fuck the first guy she came in contact with, part of her wanted to sit here and tell him everything and listen to everything he had to say. And a good part of her didn't want to speak at al but to kiss him. "Shouldn't think like what? It's true, if you already had a crappy relationsip, you don't have to worry about fucking it up any more."

”So, what does that say about me?”

Charlie smiled and thought for a moment, she should have asumed if she said that she'd be asked. She looked at him, "You like to have fun, but aren't the crazy partier most of your friends are. You have a great deal of energy and...shall we say hutspah. Can you tell I'm pulling this out of the air?" She asked but she paused for a moment and then added, "But you have a soft sife, shy almost. The Killers...you aren't one for a lot of random hook ups. You like being with someone, you enjoy the connection." She smiled at him, "Sorry. These are mostly guesses, if I'm wrong I won't be ofended by corection at all."

[charliemcpherson]

”You shouldn’t think like there’s no hope left,” Charlie almost wanted to hit himself for the degree of corniness that was leaving his mouth. ”I don’t know if I believe you” he said referring to her not worrying about fucking it up comment. ”I don’t know, I guess I’m just too hopeful,” Charlie shrugged his shoulders and looked at her from the corner of his eye, trying to read what she was thinking. He hadn’t been prepared for this earlier. He wasn’t expecting to be sitting here with the she-Charlie talking like they were, actually getting to know each other. He smiled, trying to break his serious tone.

He nodded as she described how his music taste defined him, quite amazed as she basically depicted his whole personality by his music choices. ”Wow, you’ve got some talent,” he smirked shyly as she went on about him having a “soft side”. It was why they were here, wasn’t it? He liked the she-Charlie, much more then just for a hook-up. He enjoyed their connection. Shaking his head, he looked up at her. ”Hah, I’m not offended, you basically just described me in fifty words or less, which is pretty good, for someone I hardly know,” he teased her, squeezing her hand lightly as he did so. He had the urge to kiss her suddenly, but held back, not wanting to ruin what was beginning to become a series of cute and sincere moments.

”What about you Charlie?” he asked. ”Do you like being with someone?” he was referring, of course, in the sense of being together, not necessarily in a sexual way. ”Do you enjoy the connection?”

[charlie]

"Well not that there's no hope" She said with a smile, "But just, not enough to work for it." She gave a small shrugg, "I'm sorry, I sound so emo but some things that you fuck up with in the past, won't be forgotten." She smiled and shook her head when he said he was 'too hopeful.' She was always jealous of thos people who had high hopes. But she felt that if she had them they wouoldn't happen and then it'd hurt more when they didn't happen. She shook her head a bit, " No, hopeful is good." She said.

"I wouldn't call it talent, since you're persona sort of screams, 'nice fun loving guy.'" She said. And nice guys tend to like the connection, emotionally more than the sex. Which was why she didn't go for the nice guys. Even when she did, the nice guys were usually just happy about getting some they forgot the emotional connection when it came to Charlie. Which she didn't mind, she never regretted sleeping with the nice ones.

" which is pretty good, for someone I hardly know,”

Charlie looked up at him, a bit surprised. They spoke, they talked to eachother and they actually already had slept together with out the sleeping part. "I already know you better than most of the men I've been with." She said with a grinn. She turned so she could be a bit closer to him. Leaning against the bed. She nudged him slightly with her shoulder.

”What about you Charlie? Do you like being with someone?Do you enjoy the connection?”

Charlie had to think about that one for a moment. She smiled rather awkwardly with a very short nervous laugh, "That's a loaded question Charlie." She replied, looking down at the ground for a moment. She shrugged a bit, "The only 'connection' I've had didn't end up so well, hmm, which is why I am so off tonight...I guess. "

[charliemcpherson]

"I already know you better than most of the men I've been with."

He felt strangely special as she told him that, that she knew him better then any of the others. He was slowly beginning to think that this, right now, wasn’t all about sleeping with him. They were talking, and it wasn’t exactly small talk, they were sitting on the floor, holding hands, this couldn’t just be about sex. No, this was them making a connection, adding another layer to their relationship and it made him happy to know that. He smiled at her shyly,

His question stumped her, and he worried that it was going to far. It was a loaded question, one that could be awkward to answer but really, he wasn’t looking for much. Just another clue to tell him how easy winning her over might be. The he-Charlie liked the she-Charlie, it was obvious, but he didn’t want to be the guy who caught led on and let down. As much as he wanted to picture the she-Charlie as someone who wouldn’t do it, he knew better then that.

"The only 'connection' I've had didn't end up so well, hmm, which is why I am so off tonight...I guess. "

”Oh,” he nodded, looking over at her from the corner of his eye, trying to figure out an appropriate way to answer without seeming too nosey, or too insensitive. ”So this is what you call being ‘off’,” he added, he was referring of course to the fact that they were talking and not tearing each others clothes off. ”Hmm, well do you mind if I ask what happened? I mean about how it ended,” he looked down at their hands, before looking back up at the she-Charlie. ”It must have been pretty horrible, to leave you… like this…,” his voice trailed off, not knowing where to go with it.

[charlie]

This night was so completely unexpected, but she liked it. It was different from anything. She was expected to drink and fuck all the time in Vegas, let alone tonight, of all nights. It's what she's supposed to do, it's what she liked doing because truth of the matter is, sex...feels great. It really does but for some strange reason, she was enjoying herself, just sitting here with Charlie Mcpherson, a very unlikely canidate for her since he was such a decent person. She slept with guys like Jason L. and Chase Stillings. Not the guy who enjoyed having her company, sitting. He was actually staying to talk with her, after she had thrown herself at him and that's when that same urge to kiss him became a bit stronger.

”So this is what you call being ‘off’,”

She laughed, letting her head rest a bit on the bed behing her, Her torso was still angled a bit towards him, her right leg crossed over her left, "Why? Isn't it? I mean, look at this..." She gestured slightly around the room, "We're in a hotel room, alone, you're with a girl you know would have sex with you and I'm assuming you wouldn't have a problem with sex right now either and we're talking! About music and whatever pops up. We're actually becoming friends, that plus the bizarre way I threw myself at you earlier and the blitz out where I sort of freaked on you and what night it is...it's just, wierd...off." She smiled and shook her head a bit,amused and frustrated with herself. "I am so sorry, I probably ruined your entire night, I mean I know you like me but this can't have been what you had in mind."

”Hmm, well do you mind if I ask what happened? I mean about how it ended, It must have been pretty horrible, to leave you… like this…,”

" 'like this'? Like this?" Charlie repeated his words with a small nod, thinking them over in her head. She smiled up at him, "Hate to break it to ya Charlie, but I was made like this, conditioned. He never left me, I left him. I've never been left." She said with a bit of force but absolutely no anger. She didn't mind him asking. She trusted him, she did. It was her she didn't trust. She had even just lied. She had been left, not by Rick but by her mother. She left one night and Charlie hadn't seen her since. Not that she cared. But her mother leaving brought in the swingers her dad and step mom brought into the house. It had changed her life, but Charlie couldn't care. but back to the question, "It ended...because I had to end it so I didn't end up in the hospitol again. Plus, he took something very important to me and I won't be able to get it back." She was of course referring to her baby, but Charlie M. wouldn't know that. And as much as she liked him, she wasn't ready for him to know that. Not yet.

[charliemcpherson]

Charlie laughed, now that he actually thought about it their situation right now was just a little unexpected. She had pretty much thrown herself at him and hell, he’d be lying if he said that he didn’t want to take her up on the offer. ”Okay, far enough, but don’t apologize,” he replied, adjusting his position, bringing one leg up so that he was no longer sitting with both legs sprawled out in front of him. ”It may not be what I had in mind but still, I’m here… with you,” he was being slightly corny but still, Charlie couldn’t stop himself. It was true, whatever they were doing, he was happy with it, it was a chance to spend time together. Sex was nice, but it didn’t have to be everything… right? ”… and that’s all that matters.”

He wiggled his fingers that were still entwined with the she-Charlie’s glancing from them back up to her, catching her eye as she went on to answer his question. He simply nodded at her first remark, instead of replying. So what, she was the way she was. Charlie could deal, right? He wasn’t going to ask her to change, well actually, he was hoping that she would anyway, convinced that the he-Charlie was someone special, someone she wanted more then just for an occasional romp in bed.

"It ended...because I had to end it so I didn't end up in the hospital again. Plus, he took something very important to me and I won't be able to get it back."

”Wait… what?” he looked up at her, a look of concern and shock coming over his face. He was feeling suddenly very protective of the girl and the fact that some other guy did something to put her in the hospital outraged him. Seriously, how could some guys be such assholes? ”The hospital?” his voice grew kinda quiet and he looked up at her. ”What did he do to you?” the question slipped out, it may have been a little insensitive but Charlie couldn’t catch himself in time.