( NOT ALWAYS GREENER )

[Elizabeth Hughes]

Not greener at all, in fact it is a specific lack of green.

So not an upcoming character, just info. some may have put it in Leaves of Absences but I'm not leaving at all so I didn't. Plus I kind of want some feedback.

Look, I really hate to be putting this up, I really really do because you all know I love V-side and no I am not leaving but life has been getting... increasingly stressful. As many of you know, I recently got a new apartment with my friend Audrey. And now it's time to start moving in. I don't have a summer job, I searched with all my heart but failed and I have 10-day gig for state fair August 6th-16th which will help, but I will be so busy that I will only be on at night if at all because I will also be getting settled. I am just fully stressed on how much this is costing me, I can't really go into it and I don't want to but as an example I have 125 dollars in my checking account. Yeah, 125. I just bought a mattress/boxspring set and had nooo idea how expensive it was going to be. I bought a cheap one, decent but new because the idea of sleeping in someone's bedsoil is gross and it cost me $500. I owe peter's aunt 300. I owe audrey 500. I owe my friend maggie 80 from years ago when we took a trip to Chicago and she paid for the hotel. Come the school year I will be making maybe 500 a month and 300 hundred of that, goes to rent. I get my first electricity bill tomorrow. And I can't even pick it up because audrey has the mailbox key. I've been researching internet options and the prices are obscene. And we don't have a couch yet, and I still have most all my packing left to do. And for the first time in my life I am dreading the christmas season and understanding why people like getting simply money for their birthdays. I have been to more Good Wills than I can handle. I still need towels and I haven't had my hair cut in a year and I have thick curly dry hair so it is the kid that needs treatment and nice shampoo and I'm using fucking one dollar a bottle white rain. And I am moving in before Audrey who is moving in Mid-august after she comes back from Australia after working fair. And I don't even know how I am going to have food to eat, let alone have internet by then so a lot of august I may be offline, which is horrible timing because of school and needing my book list and OMG books, shit how am I going to pay for my books?

Don't I will survive and I am not leaving v-side, but this year, to be frank, I would like to distance myself a little bit. I have let V-Side not only be my source for a bit of stress free fun but become where I feel the safest and most comfortable. I think about it all the time, I check v-side before email, I have turned down hanging with friends in RL to come online. And most of all, I push off HW for v-side. But this year I don't want that you know? I want my friends back, I want to start dating again because I might finally be over Peter drama, but most of all, I want to raise my grades and figure out what I want to do with my life. Audrey knows she wants to be a doctor, maggie knows she wants to go into politics, peter knows he wants open a sports bar, I really don't care what my goal is but I want to find one and start working towards it. I also have to, not want to, take as many hours at work as I possibly can for the above reasons. So I am planning on being on less. A lot less. Weekends on sunday maybe and then late on some weekdays for me. Hopefully from being on less, my time spent online will be more productive eh? one can only hope lol.

So lack of time, increase of stress brings me to V-Side paper work as asia called it. I AM NOT LEAVING. I know so many have started with this sort of message and then left. But if I was planning on leaving I would have put this in the absence boards lol. But this is more me cleaning things out and trying to make life more manageable. And the truth is 20 characters is not realistic, or fair to you guys. Having so many and feeling the need to keep them all moving is draining me, as well as, and this is no ones fault, but everyone lately has been sort of MIA. We lost Leah, leslie is essentially gone, most others aren't on much and when they are, it's sort of just talking in the c-box and not being productive because the busyness of life is draining muse. And it just feels like nothing ever really gets done. And when others aren't around a lot or posting a lot, even if I have 23839843 threads to reply to, I like don't want to. I feel like "well no one else cares". It's bullshit, I know, it's just hectic lives but this is just me explaining my own short comings, I swear. You all are great, it is not a reflection of you guys at all.

But all this means I have to make some sad decisions. Cutting characters. I have not given up on Will or Rose yet. Rose has some upcoming stuff with Seth plus she's one of my favorites to play. Will still is kind of idle, but my hearts too in love with him to pull the plug just yet. Jordin is still here too. Tessa's been busy lately, who hasn't? but Jordian is so much love and I know she loves them as much as I do. None of my Sirens, apart from the previously announced Izzy will be going, in fact they're they ones I have the most muse for lately, the sirens, stanwoods and then tony and anya have like bottomless pits of muse lately. So none of them are going. I'm still too in love with Peter so he's safe. lol I am so bad at getting rid of characters. But here goes.

Not making the new girl Sarah Jade despite my growing love for her, not making cory even though my new found muse for the older connors girl, might if during the school year I realize I am not as busy as I thought.

But here are the two big decisions: Miles is going off to Italy and getting back into the Mafia, but I'm not bringing him back until I am certain I have muse for him with his new face, Ben is too cute and we all know I want to use him.

And then two... Fiona. I love writing for her. I love the idea of her but out of all my characters my heart is the least into Fiona and Miles. God even as I write this I am considering not allowing it. ugh no. It's not... Fiona will go to live with the family of the boy she saved for awhile. She and Dean will write to each other. That way the two still get closure and if I ever decide for her to come back I can easily.

That means I'll be down to 17 charries. Nine boys and eight girls. which is still an insane amount if you ask me but better... so... yeah... seriously it's not a move I want to do, I just think it may be something I need to do...

[Sarai Montgomery]

anna hun you have my unwaivering support in this matter. moving out and making it on your own is one of the hardest things to do, which is probably why i haven't done it yet, so i can definitely feel for you there. you'll find a steady schedule as soon as things become routine and then you'll be able to pace yourself. i know it's hard and feels like the world is weighing down on you but just take things one step at a time and you'll be alright.

plus cheapbooks is a lifesaver.

we'll all be here when you need us and i for one will happily be your personal rant machine, someone you can just bitch and complain to until you feel better. i'm game. anytime you need me you just let me know, k?

mucho love,
ruby

[Haley Summers]

aww thank you ruby<3 I always need more people to bitch and rant to lol.

And yeah, I am hoping once my schedule settles into a routine I will get a better idea of my v-side time slots and such which will be in there, no worries. Just right now is when everything is actually changing so it's more stressful. And it's not actually my first time moving out on my own, did that with my dorm but like with a dorm things are taken care of all in that one payment you know? electricity, water, cable, internet weren't all separate things you know?

But anyways, thanks again for your understanding and letting me know you're there.