the story of a girl.

[Nina Suresh]

November 23rd 2006

Dear Diary...
Well hello. Wow this diary looks so new. Hehe probably because it is. Yeah. Mum brought this home yesterday for no apparent reason. But thats fine. She could have gotten something more exciting like a new ipod or something though but I'm going to be grateful.
Well this week has been interesting. There's quite a few new kids at the school this year. There's a new guy...I can't remember his name. But I keep catching him looking at me. Eek it's freaky. But he is kinda cute. I dunno. After the last disasterous relationship I'm not sure if I'm ready or another yet.
Bailey is another new kid. She's really nice. I've talked to her a few times and she seems cool. Maybe she'll turn out to be a new friend which would be awesome since I'm kind of low on those right now. I haven't talked to any of the trio girls for ages now and it's almost impossible to believe I used to be good friends with them all. But I guess things change.
But anyway...Went to Compact Disk the other day. I got a bunch of new singles. Mum yelled at me when I got home. She said I need to start chucking out some cds before they invade my bedroom. As if a CD can take over a bedroom. Whatever. Augh she's yelling at me again. Jeez will that woman ever shut up? M'kay well I'd better see what she wants..

Forever
Nina x0x

[Nina Suresh]

November 27th 2006

Dear Diary,
Hello again. Well seriously, this week is booooring. I've hardly done anything. And my homework is slowly piling up already! I'm loving Journalism but it's fairly hard. Not too hard but definitely a challenge. I'm going to have go to the library tomorrow to do some studying. I really don't see the point in some of our homework but I'm not going to go on strike and not do it. Dad would shoot me - literally. Well maybe not shoot but he would kill me somehow. And then Mum would drag him back to the Philippines and they would go and have another kid to replace me and then that kid could do their own homework and go off and get married at nineteen or whatever. Unlike me!

Okay sorry about that. Anyway I keep seeing that Garret guy around. He's always looking at me and it's kinda creepy. But I guess it's flattering. Oh I don't know. Went for my usual morning walk on the weekend. And I bumped into Emily!! It was good to see her. Not that I don't see her at school but anyway. It was nice. I love bumping into people I know outside school. Makes me feel special for some reason. I guess it proves I do have a social life even though it doesn't feel like it sometimes. I'm so busy doing homework and trying to keep sane, not to mention I'm getting all the crappy shifts at work. Ick.

I think Mum's hiding something from me. Well her and Dad. Whenever I come into the room they stop talking and the other day I could hear them arguing. I'm worried that its something bad but I'm not sure. Maybe....Okay I have no clue. Time to start eavsdropping eavesdropping haha. is that spelt right? the second way looks better. then again they both look wrong. oh jeez who really cares?

Well I shall go now. Dad just got home from work by the sounds of it. And about time too. He had a mega long shift today. Meanwhile I have homework. I think I'll put on some loud music like Good Charlotte or something. By the sounds of it Mum and Dad are arguing and that's just going to distract me. I need full concentration for my History Essay. Joy.

Forever
Nina x0x

[Nina Suresh]

December 1st 2006

Dear Diary...
Oh my god. OH MY GOD. I hate my parents!! No, I hate my mum! I can't believe she is doing this to me! She's ruined my life! Forver! No seriously she is ruining my future! Oh my god. I hate her! The look on her face was like AUGH. I wanted to punch her. Well maybe not punch her. I'm not really a fan of the whole violence thing but I wanted to harm her in some way. She had this big fake look as if she actually cared about how she had just decided to destroy my entire future. "It's for the best Nina." For the best my ass! Augh! I can't believe she thinks it will be good for me! Yeah right. Just because it's the proper thing to do in the Philippines doesn't mean we have to do it here in the U.S!

Oh maan. My throat is all sore from screaming at Mum now. Dad looked kinda shocked. But Mum was waay more shocked. It's like she expected me to be happy about it! In her dreams. Augh. I can't believe dad was actually on her side! He's an American so he should know it's a stupid idea. Obviously Mum managed to brainwash him. I couldn't believe it when I looked at Dad for help and he just shrugged and told me it wasn't that bad. I figured at least he'd have my back on this. And then just when I was trying to get my point across, Dad had to leave for the stupid hospital. What's the point in having a dad if they don't help you out when your mum has a stupid idea??

Gah I'm still venting. I can hear Mum playing her stupid Happy Music. It's like from the 80s or something and its all bright and cheerful. I think she's trying to cheer me up but it's just annoying the heck out of me. Alright I'm gonna go and do something. Put some loud music on or go for a walk or something. I need to clear my head..

Forever
Nina x0x

[Nina Suresh]

January 9th 2007

Dear Diary,
Holy fruitcakes it's been almost two months since my last entry. Oh well better now than never. Ooh a thought just struck me. This is my first entry for '07. HAPPY NEW YEAR! I had the most boring new year ever. Well not quite but close. One of Dad's doctor friends lives Manhattan and had some big party so Dad brought me and Mum along to show off haha. Hang on I've got a picture of me and a few of the other kids who's parents work at the hospital...Damn it Mum hasn't put the photos on the computer yet. But aha I found the camera. Okay now I've just got to put them on and print a few off. Hey theres some pictures taken of me that I so don't recall. No - I didn't get drunk.I just don't remember a camera being around. Alrighty printed off a few. Here's a good one:

Like it? Hehe I'm wearing my new coat. I had a dress on underneath, don't worry. But yeah so from left to right its Devon, Me and Phil. Phil and Devon are brothers obviously and they were totally awesome. Their dad is really good friend with MY dad so we already knew each other a bit. Of course trust them not to dress up much while I'm there in my red lippie haha. I would paste more in but 1. my hands are sticky already from the stupid paste and 2. we have no ink left in the printer.

Anyways, so what's been happening this month? Well a lot so far. Actually not really but in a way it's been busier than last year. I had to go and drop off Dad's lunch the other day. My idiot of a father forgot his lunch, despite Mum reminding him this morning. Ahhh men. Teehee. So yeah I was there and bumped into a few other Valkies. Hunter Sinclair and Lola Sanders I think their names were. Hunter was pretty cute and definitely flirtatious and really nice. I don't know..After my boring year in '06 I've decided to try and up my social life a little. 07 feels like my year and maybe something will actually happen this year.

Speaking of socials and friends and all, I don't think I mentioned that my beloved best friend Madi has left me for the glamorous life that comes with New York? Well not really. She got into an awesome school there so shes off there now. I'm so proud of her but now it sucks without my best friend! Oh well I still have other people around. I've seen Anne and Daphne and Bella around a lot lately, with the new trio girl Bailey of course who I don't think I've really talked to much. I think I'll try and talk to them a little more this year. It sucked when our friendship just faded away...

Alright well while I am temporarily wallowing in self pity because my friends keep leaving or drifting away, I have a shift at Happy Falcon in about fifteen minutes and I'm literally not allowed to be late.

Forever
nina xxx

[Nina Suresh]

Janurary 26th 2007

Dear Diary,
I am in freaking love.
Well it feels like it. Not that I would know what love feels like but I can't get him off my mind and I only saw him like today. Woops I should probably backtrack and explain everything right?

Alrighty so I had my shift at Happy Falcon the other week and it was totally boring until two certain someones walked in. Parker Connelly and his cousin Logan. Luckily I managed to beat stupid Wendy to them and served the guys. I love how I'm so comfortable with Parker. I mean it's only natural since I basically live at their house when Madi's around and I did date Parker like way back in the day. But anyway so he introduced me to Logan and god it was like instant crush. I know, I know, my crushes usually turn into crappy boyfriends who break my heart a little more each time but I don't know. This felt real.

Of course I managed to make a complete idiot of myself and almost dropped the pizza and nearly crashed into Logan but I caught myself. I don't know whether he thought I was an idiot or not but it was embarrassing all the same.So anyway after that day we sort of bumped into each other and we've been hanging out heaps now. Just as friends though. I've got no idea how he feels about me and I don't want to face getting rejected and making it all awkward. So I'm keeping as neutral as I can let myself. This is insane though.

BUT now I get to show my stuff off tomorrow night at Bailey's big party thing. Yeah, Bailey Mitchell, the new B in the BAD trio. I guess its more like the BBAD quad now though but anyway she's having a party and after Logan mentioned it I knew I couldn't miss it. Oooh and I was sitting in the middle of Mrs Freeman's stupid science lecture today and caught a note from Anne so I wrote back and we had a pretty good conversation for note passing. It was awesome to talk to her as if we hadn't had the big stupid fading away thing. So she said she was going and I decided it would be lame if I didn't. So now I'm going. I just need a dress and a driver. But apparently Dad is heading up near Las Angeles so maybe he can drop me off...

Gah. I just have to look as good as possible. I need to look my best if I'm going to see Logan. I just want to prove that I'm not like the other Valk girls like Daphne, Bailey and Amanda etc. I live in the Valks and yet i still consider myself fairly normal. But maybe he likes that. oh heck I'm going to need something strong tomorrow night. I'm already freaking out. Why is this me? Why can't I just be cool and collected and all? Oh well I guess I'll leave that for the Amandas and I'll let the guys *cough*logan*cough* sweep me off my feet.
That sounds fine to me. Alright well I'll finish off here and get to sleep. It's 12.00am and I'm barely tired but I'll regret this tomorrow today.

Forever
nina xxx

[Nina Suresh]

March 9th 2007

Dear Diary,
Wow. That last entry must have jinxed me. That or my luck with love just completely sucks. Well I already knew that but now it's just totally more obvious. Is it something about me or what? Every time I think I've met Mr Right, he does a Left hand turn and disappears. (haha mr right goes left...ok i'll stop my lame jokes)

But yeah, Logan is gone. Weird huh, one minute everything was absolutely perfect and the next, I'm alone again. Oh wait. I didn't tell you about the party! Well Bailey's party was...interesting, shall I say. Logan and I met up there and oh my god I was a mess. A hopeless butterfly-filled, embarrassing mess. But then again Logan seemed pretty happy to see me too so it was awesome. I could totally feel the sparks between us and it was amazing. Well, I'm pretty sure I could. It got a bit hazy after a while but thats my fault. I was really nervous and I wanted to calm myself down so I took the stupid option and grabbed the closest drink from one of the waiters. And that turned into a fifth drink and by my tenth I was toasted. Like totally drunk. It was ugh. So anyway I don't remember much but apparently Logan drove me home (such a gentleman) and I might have possibly spilled how much I liked him and tried to kiss him which kinda freaked him out so then after the party he sort of avoided me a bit and I was all confused but after about a week was it? well anyway, I finally got him to talk and we sorted it all out and made ourselves official! I was so excited. Ridiculously so in fact haha. Carlito kept telling me to stop skipping around the house.

And then we had the bbq which oh my gosh was awesome. It was like the first public outing Logan and I had as a couple and OH MY EFFING GOD MADISON WAS BACK. I flipped out haha. My best friend who left for NY with barely a goodbye just suddenly returned. I can't believe Logan didn't tell me sooner. But anyway it was so awesome to have them both with me. It was like one of the best days of my life. And surprisingly but thankfully, Madi was completely cool with me and Logan dating but it must be weird for her. First I date her brother, than her cousin. Sheesh, that's weird. But what can I say, they're a good looking bunch (:

Unfortunately things don't last forever. Logan, Madi and Parker have all gone. I'm not going to go into the details because I'm trying not to think about it all but it sucks. I was really falling for Logan hard and now I have to get over him. Curse boys. Curse them and their stupid charm and stupid hair and stupid everything. Ick. On the flip side of things though, I'm now one of three teenagers in the house, compared to one like I used to be. Carlito moved in like last month (Did I mention that already?) and the other day - totally randomly can I add - my other cousin Timothy arrived on my doorstep with a couple of suitcases and a request to stay. He's been here like every summer and even had a friggen fling with one of my friends Daph but now he's here permanently and I think he enrolled in VU. He never quite said why he ran away from Uncle Harry and Aunt Cathy's but I have a feeling its because of Uncle Harry's drinking habits. But Timmy doesn't talk much so I'm leaving it. He is so much more annoying than Carlito though. God, like every day I find something to yell at him for. He's so frustrating! But whatever, he's keeping my mind off the rest of my problems.

God, my life was perfect a few weeks ago and now look at me. I'm a wreak. Yuck. I need something to do, someone to hang out with, anything. I might see if either of the boys wants to go for a walk to the beach with me or something. Hopefully my next entry will be a little more cheery. ;)

Forever
nina xxx

[Nina Suresh]

April 5th, 2007

Dear Diary,
So much for a happier entry next time. Yeah, as you can guess I'm still moping. Wow, big surprise there. Well whatever, I'm allowed to be miserable. What exactly do I have in life right now to make me smile? Ugh that sounds sort of suicidal. I really shouldn't be talking about that kind of stuff considering what happened just the other day. It was literally like two days ago. Oh god, I'm still in shock. That's gonna take a while to forget about for sure. Yeah it was two days ago when I was sitting in Journalism and I heard two loud bangs. Gunshots. Apparently that kid Johnny Jones, the guy who blew up the pottery class like a few months ago or something? Yeah, he's been teased heaps and he was pretty messed up so he brought a gun to school. Crazy huh? And to think I was freaking out about my shifts at work beforehand. I didn't end up working that night. I swear like half the town froze. It was so scary. The worst thing? Several kids got shot and didn't make it. Apparently Paolo Giovanni's little sister Angelina and my own neighbour Jennifer were the first two. That was the two shots I heard. God, Bailey is devestated and no wonder. I haven't really talked to her though but I feel like I should do something.

It's hard to know what to do though. I've never lost anyone I really loved or anything. Unless you count stupid Logan and Madi leaving. God, I can't believe I'm still down about that. I don't think that's entirely the reason I'm miserable now but it didn't help. You know, the other day I found a bunch of infomation pamphlats on depression in Dad's office! All about what it is and what causes it and how to help people with depression. That along with all the 'how are you sweetie?' questions I've been getting shows that Mum and Dad clearly think I'm depressed or something. But oh please, as if I'm actually depressed. I'm so not. I'm just not smiling as much as I used to. So sue me!

Anyway, I'm going to move on from this sad stuff and tell you some good news. Alex is here! As in my little cousin-Tim's sister Alex Suresh! God, I haven't seen her in forever. She stopped coming up here with Tim about three years ago or something and god she's grown since I last saw her. Seriously, she's adorable. I have a feeling there's more to her story than 'she missed Tim' but Tim still hasn't told me his full story either. To be honest, I'm not sure I want to know but I'm open to talk when they are. I was pretty surprised when Alex showed up though. I heard Dad saying that if anymore of our relatives show up it'll be like a family reunion and I have to agree. I've gone from an only child to one of four in the span of a few months! But hey, I'm cool with that. This means Mum has more people to worry about and less time to spend fussing over me and annoying me.

Okay then, so once again, let's hope my next entry is happier because I'd like to feel happier, that's for sure. I really need a change. I just don't know how to make it happen. Ugh. Well, until next time, peace out!

Forever
nina xxx