with love;; bella ainsworth

[bella]

December 2006;
The Unwelcome Return

Dear Diary,

I might as well start off by talking about the first month coming back from London. I guess I had it coming. Only a few people saw me walking around so it had not gotten back to the girls yet that I was back. I was excited yet nervous. Besides just leaving without warning, I was coming back without warning and I knew that for the few months that I was away that things must have changed. Yet this change wasn't one that I expected.

Nobody but my family knows what happened to me in the week before I left. I should probably tell Jason or atleast the other girls what happened. I don't think I'm ready yet though.

Getting back on track with the return, I had heard little whispers of this "Bailey" girl and also I heard of the trio event that was going on. What was going through my mind was, 'Had they heard I came back? Were they not pissed off?' That was hardly the case. I walked from my Valk house to the one house that I spent oh so much time in throughout high school. It was as gorgeous as I left it three months ago.

Stepping inside though, I realized that it was not a party for me. And much to my suprise there was another 'B'. Her name is Bailey and she is gorgeous I have to admit. But why would they fucking replace me with someone they hardly knew?! I didn't get it then and I still don't fucking get it. The anger has faded, but I've still kept my distance from Daphne and Anne. That is how my return was, let's hope January brings better times.[/blockquote][/font]

[bella]

January 2007;
Here's To A Bitter Beginning

Dear Diary,

I did the one thing at the Masquerade that I never imagined myself doing. I actually drank with Bailey. I hardly remember the night, I hope I didn't say anything I'd regret telling her. Maybe she doesn't even remember it. Well I can only hope. I wish I could have been inside when Anne got the shit embarrased out of her though. Oscar and Anne? It seemed like a all too weird combination but according to the story that happened, they must be head over heels for eachother. Fuck if I can find anything like that. I hate London and I hate Valkyrie. Fuck.

I met up with Jason Levesque in the park on January 4th. That was a nice happy reunion, not! I don't think I was ever more humiliated in my life ever. I told him I was pregnant, at first he took it as a joke and then he asked me if i took care of it like got an abortion and stuff. He basicly just blew it off after that like it was nothing. He has no sympothy in his heart, it's basicly just cold. I hate myself for saying that because in my heart i'm saying nononono it's not true. But it is. After I told him I was pregnant, it was awkward and then he took my shoes. Then it was fun and games after that. We played around a little bit before he carried me to his car. We then did the deed, got a little tipsy and that was the end of that night. What can I say? I guess i'm a sucker for the town womanizer.

p.s. i'll write more after i have more to write. january has a lot in store for me i can tell.