---* i fall to the floor

[Sarai Montgomery]

VALKYRIE HOSPITAL, EMERGENCY ROOM, DECEMBER 2007

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-----"montgomery! we've got incoming. school bus got side swiped by a dump truck. i need you in the pit." sarai cringed as she heard the details of the incoming buses. she checked her watch in curiosity, "so just two drivers right? it's too late for kids to be on their way home." it was bordering on eight thirty, the sun had already gone down and the street lamps were likely already lit. sarai only knew this because she would be getting home soon. her shift ended at nine o'clock. "nope. some kids were headed back from a late field trip when they got slammed going through an intersection. we're going to be packed in about five. you ready?" she nodded over at the nurse. the emergency room was going to look like a minor league war just broke out in just a few minutes, little bodies bloodied and bruised all over the place. it was a gruesome picture, but she was ready. saving lives of children, that was something she was always ready for. by the time she'd gotten into her sterile gear and headed downstairs to the emergency room doors, the bodies were filing in on stretchers. sarai took in a deep breath as kids arrived by bus (ambulance) or by mini van. any mode of transportation that could be used, seemed to be in use. she hurried to the doors and helped organized stretchers, getting kids off of the rolling stretchers and onto beds where they could be treated. she blocked out the sounds of screams and innocent tears as she methodically worked, making sure everyone had a bed and at least two people working on their treatments. "sarai we've got a crier in room three. she won't let anyone touch her. you've got the magic touch with kids do you mind taking her?" sarai nodded as she waved over someone to take her place, working on teh broken leg of a twelve year old boy. "you may need to talk to orthopedics, he's got multiple fractures in this leg."

-----once the other doctors were notified, sarai turned away and headed past the rows of bed to the rooms. they were sticking kids anywhere and everywhere so this really didn't shock her. rooms one and two were holding the only two adults, the drivers, and that was probably for their safety. she knocked on the door, slowly opening it and stepping inside. she saw the girl, bleeding with her knees pulled into her chest and sighed. "hello sweetheart. my name is sarai. i'll be treating you okay?" she sat down on a chair far away from the bedside so she could ease the girl into being comfortable with her. "i know a car crash is scary, but we're going to take care of you." she was surprised to see the girl's head shoot up, her eyes rimmed with red and salt stains on her cheeks from the tears. "what car crash?" sarai made a curious gaze then pointed a thumb toward the door. "there was a school bus crash, you weren't in that." she stood up from the chair when the girl shook her head. "alright i need you to tell me what happened." sarai held her hand out to the girl, letting her take her time to take it. during that time she noticed where the blood was coming from and squeezed her eyes shut. "who did this to you?" the little girl fell sobbing into her arms and sarai instinctively brushed her fingers through her matted hair. "what's your name?" she asked quietly, hugging the girl close. callie she heard mumbled into her scrub shirt. "alright callie i'm going to take care of you, i promise." once the girl calmed down a bit, sarai was able to get her to lay back on the bed and relax. "no one here is going to intentionally hurt you, i swear. now i'm going to go get a nurse, she's going to run a test okay?" she saw the girl nod her head and sarai smiled, "you're being very brave callie. i'm going to make sure nothing goes wrong alright? now, i need to tell the police. do you think you can talk to them about this?" callie looked up at sarai, her hand grasping hers again, "can you be here with me?" her heart broke in that one little instant and sarai found herself on the verge of tears. she nodded and gave callie the best reassuring smile she could muster. "i'm going to get the nurse and i'm going to call the police and then i'll be right back here okay? no one's going to touch you unless i'm here to say so."

-----she damn near collapsed when she got out the door, but she took a moment, took a deep breath and then another, and then went out to do what she said she would. "charlie!" sarai called out as she caught the nurse going past with gauze rolls in her hand. "i need you on a special case. deliver that then get me a rape kit please. wait outside room three until i get back. do not go inside without me." charlie nodded and rushed off to do as she'd been asked. sarai then walked up to the nurses station which was flooded with activity. she looked over at barbara, the head nurse of the current shift. she was not going to be happy about this. "barbara i need you to call vpd immediately. tell them we have a teenage girl, roughly twelve to fourteen years old who's statement we need to take. and you've got a rape kit coming your way. i need a rush on that." sarai grabbed an empty folder and ran back to room three, happy to see charlie standing outside waiting for her with a rape kit in hand. "let's go." she said as she knocked and stepped inside, smiling over at callie as she walked to her bedside. "this is charlie, she's my best nurse and she's going to do a little test okay? it may hurt a little bit but it's going to give us the evidence we need against whoever did this okay? lean back and it'll be all over in a few minutes." sarai eased callie back, holding her hands and standing in such a way so callie didn't have to watch charlie working. "callie can you tell me who did this to you?"

-----callie winced slightly, gripping sarai's hand, but she spoke up anyways. "it was my dad." sarai and charlie exchanged a glance, sarai shuddered. "can you tell me what happened?" "he likes to touch me and i always tell him no. he beats me and then..." she trailed off and sarai gave her hand a little squeeze. "i told him no this time. it was in the car. we were in a parking lot and i told him no. he hit me and grabbed me...then there was this big crash. daddy looked up and i kicked him. i grabbed for the door and i closed it on his head. then i ran. i saw the hospital and i came inside. they put me in here cuz i was crying and screaming too much. a man came in and tried to touch me. i bit him and he left. then you came in." sarai nodded. "you did the right thing hun. you're safe now. i promise you that." charlie finished up and put the kit away. "send that to the lab immediately. i've got a rush on it." with a nod, charlie quietly left the room. sarai turned back to callie. "are you going to be able to tell the police this? it may be a man that comes in here but he's not going to touch you." callie nodded and sarai sighed a bit in relief. "what does your father look like? i want to put out a watch for him." callie gulped, sitting upright again and pulling her knees to her chest once more. "he's tall. brown hair but some gray in it. i scratched him in the face and closed the door on him so he'd look beat up, i hope." sarai gave her a little smile and jotted down everything she'd said on the empty folder she'd grabbed earlier. "i'm sure you gave him hell. what was he wearing?" "um, red plaid flannel shirt and dirty jeans. he has a beard too." "alright i think that's plenty. callie i'm going to give you some time while i call that in. you wait here and i will bring the police in when they get here okay?"

-----she walked out of the room, quietly latching the door behind her before she walked back up to the nurses station. she could see out the emergency room doors that the parking lot was pretty much quieted down. she looked at the clock, jesus it was only about ten minutes after her shift had ended. god how fast time flew. "i got a description on the guy." she said as barbara handed her some old files to sign. she grabbed her pen and began signing. she looked up in between folders to see a man walking toward the hospital. she blinked as she thought she was seeing things, the exact description she was just writing on that folder earlier was now walking into the lit entryway of the hospital. "my god. lock us down!" she screamed as she looked over at barbara. "code orange now!" she saw barbara hit a button that immediately flashed the lights, set off sirens, and started closing the emergency room doors. in a flash she saw the man turn on his heels and start walking away. oh no. he was not getting away like that. "no!" she screamed as she ran toward the doors, sliding between them before they closed. "you! yeah you, you sick, twisted bastard. i know what you did."sarai glared at the man as he spun back around to face her. he wasn't more than seven feet away from her. "you're daughter's in there with the police as we speak you disgusting waste of space. she's going to tell them about how you raped her." she practically snarled at the man, looking at the bleeding cuts on his face and the torn fabric of his red, plaid flannel shirt. "you're going to jail."

-----she tried to goad him, tried to make him stick around long enough. the police were on there way. in fact they'd be here any second. she needed him to stay around long enough for that, to get caught. she promised callie that she would keep her safe and that's what she was doing. she was keeping this bastard here long enough to get caught. he started turning again, but not before the flashing blue lights came into view. there was clearly fear in his eyes as he turned back to her, lunging at her. sarai turned to the emergency room doors, forgetting that they had been permi-closed. she saw the frightened looks of the hospital staff as the man grabbed her from behind, jabbing something into her back. "you're gonna pay for that bitch." she heard at her ear, the man's hot, heavy breaths making the stray strands of her hair blow forwards. "not on your life!" sarai screeched as she dropped her weight then pushed off with her feet, struggling to get away from this monster. he kept a hold of her, spinning her toward the five or so cop cars that were now unloading police officers with their guns pointed straight at sarai and her captor. "i've got a hostage!" the man screamed, jabbing what sarai could only imagine was a gun into her back. it was too blunt to break the skin, though there was sure to be a bruise there in no time. "i'll kill her i swear to god! back up!" she felt hot liquid running down her face, which sarai could only imagine were tears, but she had no idea why she was crying. "you're never getting out of this alive you sick bastard." sarai sneered, her elbows bashing into his sides as she tried to free herself. "yeah. and neither are you." the words scared her to the bone for the first time since she'd come face to face with the man. eyes wide she looked out at her audience, at the twenty or so unfamiliar uniformed faces. but one face stuck out, one face that was rushed out of the parking lot at an alarming speed, it was tony. "tony..." sarai whispered, finally having a reason to cry.

-----she was sure that she wasn't the only one who heard the man cocking his gun, but no one else felt that immeasurable tremor of fear as the metal pressed into her shoulder, digging up into her skin. "get back or i'll fucking shoot this bitch!" the man cried in one last attempt. sarai could swear it was like slow motion. the man stopped speaking, he gripped her other shoulder, and pulled back on the trigger. everything seemed to run at half speed as the bullet shot out of the barrel of the gun and forced it's way into her flesh. her ears rang with the sound, her body stiffening. it was like she could hear all the cries from inside the hospital and a cry from outside as well. what was that? tony? her dead weight fell from the man's hands and she shlumped to the concrete, giving the police officer's plenty of room to shoot the man multiple times, killing him. sarai didn't see the man riddled with holes. she didn't see him fall face forward into a bloody heap. she didn't see the hospital staff scrambling to get the doors back open. all she saw were the lights of the emergency room entryway, the light fading as a face loomed overhead, fading until she saw nothing but black.

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status • finished
words • 2825
tagged • tarai !
clothes •top + pants
listening to • -- - --.
notes • epic!plot ftw! hope it was long enough xD and, um, it made me cry like a baby, lol.

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[Antonino Giovanni]

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------ Everything in Tony's life right now was sort of up in the air, except for his career. He was frustrated, he was angry and he was at a loss at how to help anyone. He was just angry in a way he hadn't felt in a long time. Basically, Anya told him what had happened that she had come back so different from Vegas and after finding proof it was not a boy named Isaac as she had once thought, there she was, alone, not knowing who hurt her, or if he was still around. For all she knew he could see her everyday at school. She was terrified the whole time and it was killing him because he didn't know what to do. He was using every resource they had, they had gotten the camera's from the hallways at the hotel, which was how they were able to show it wasn't Isaac. Isaac had left her room only a minute after walking a drugged Anya up the stairs, he had thought he should because he was noticing her behavior and that she was way too drunk to be left alone, he hadn't known she was drugged. But then a male did enter her room, approximately 6'1" and 150lbs, I know, skinny kid right? Although who's to say it was a kid? They could only see the back of his face, the video was too blurry to tell even the color of his shirt. And he was wearing a hat but he had dark short hair, caucasian. Which of course, describes a lot of guys. No one had seen him follow them. Tony had literally talked to everyone who had any trace of being at the club she was at, no one saw anything. All the hotel employees. No one saw anything. And Anya only remembered a figure over her and telling him to stop and god if he ever find the guy who did this...

------ Antonino frustratedly run a hand through his already ruffled hair while he rode shotgun next to one of teammates, big burly guy named Mitchell, and the real veteran of the group sitting right behind Tony, was Jim. Jim was great, his and Tony's humor tended to match up well, plus Tony being the rookie and Jim the vet, they gave each other a lot of shit. Tony read and re-read the same files that had been filled out on Anya's case. Of course once she told Tony it became a real case and some may find it unfair because her rape, since she was legally the daughter of a Fed AND had connections to the Russian and Irish Mafia's it became a federal case. Tony did not feel like it was related but seeing as she was being sold to the Irish essentially for sex, he couldn't cross it out. But had it been mob related chances are, having her alone and drugged, they would have just taken her. Kidnapped her. The motive behind this bastard was the actual rape. "you're going to drive yourself nuts, rook" Mitchell said to him concerned. They were all on their way torwards LA Headquarters. Rook was Tony's nickname on the team, given to him by Jim. Tony nodded and let out a sigh, "Yeah probably." He looked over at Mitch as he drove, "But tell me if it was your family you wouldn't do the same." He added before looking back down at the papers. He felt a hand on his shoulder squeeze a bit before letting go. Tony didn't have to turn around to know it was just Jim giving his silent approval and support. Jim had lost his sister to a man who kidnapped her, put her on film as he raped her before he killed her as the feds began to close in. He had gone practically insane searching for the man. And it took five years but they got him. Anya was still alive, thank god, but he knew that rage and determination to find the scumbag.

------ Tony was not even reading anymore, there was nothing there. Why couldn't he see it? why couldn't he solve this one? He flipped through the pages as the radio in their truck buzzed. Mitchell glanced at Tony who would have usually picked up but without asking, just knowing, picked it up himself, "what's up, doc?" He responded through the mic. The radio buzzed a bit as they all heard one of their many bosses voice. "turn 'round boys, looks that 2837 predator might show his face at the Valkyrie Hospital, get your team over there, you're the closest." Tony looked up from the files and looked at the radio as Mitchell and Jim shared a quick glance. Tony gestured for the transceiver. He pressed down the button with his thumb, as Mitchell already put on the Sirens and made the usually illegal u-turn to turn around. "Hey doc, what would he be there for?" -buzz-"sicko's got a kid who ended up in the ER, she told some people, the local police are already there, more on the way. Tony raised an eyebrow, "got it." And put the transceiver back down with a click. 2837 predator. He was arrested for child pornography awhile ago. He had not been convicted though. Recently there was evidence to show he was at it again but he dropped off the radar till now, looks like the local PD ran his face through the system, got a hit, called the feds. General procedure. Tony frowned slightly, wondering if Sarai was working and having a bad feeling in his gut.

------ Less than a minute later the radio buzzed again, rushing them, apparently they had a hostage. "Fuck" Both Tony and Jim said in unison. Mitchell put his foot even more on the pedal and within minutes they were speeding into the parking lot as they finished gunning up. Tony looked up as Mitchell spun the truck to stop and his blood ran cold. His gut feeling was correct again as he saw Sarai being held by the bastard, gun pressed against her. He practically ripped the seat belt off him and burst through the door running out of the truck and towards where the other cops were, he would have intended to just run to her but he knew he didn't want to spook the guy but when Tony heard that gunshot go off, his was up a mili-second later as he shot the man square through the heart but his bullets weren't the only ones flying in the man's direction. "SARAI!!" He yelled as loud as he could, not stopping his all out run, despite having started further behind the local cops, he was still the first one at her side as others rushed to the now dead child molester. Tony didn't pause to try to shake her awake as she fell unconscious. He just scooped her up with both arms, resting her head on his shoulder, her arm around his neck as he made his way back into the hospital, "I NEED HELP!" He shouted, as nurses and doctors were already running to him, "PLEASE HELP HER!" he stated as they pulled her onto a gurney and began to rush her to surgery. He ran alongside the gurney as long as he could, "Is she going to be alright?! Is she - ?!" "We'll do the best we can, Sarai's one of our own." one of the nurses told him, pulling his arm to stop him from following into surgery. "we need you calm and out here, sir."

------ Tony pushed the woman's arm away, not trying to be rude, but frustrated. He stood outside the slightly still swinging doors that Sarai had disappeared behind. He waited for about a minute there before he let out just a loud frustrated yelp as he turned around and crouched down on his knees. The nurse put her hand on his back and gently guided him to one of the chairs as he held his head in his hands. Yeah he was crying, wouldn't you be in this situation. He sat there shaking as he looked up at the doors from his seat, eyes red and puffy, face stained by tears as he bit down on his lip, mouth covered by his hand as he tried to breath. This wasn't like she was shot in the arm this wasn't just a scratch. His breathing was short and quick as he tried his best to control his impulse to start shooting the hell out of that corpse being bagged up outside. After a few minutes, the doors of the hospital opened again as Jim came in and looked around before spotting Tony, unmoved watching the doors. Jim sighed and walked over to him slowly sitting down beside him. Jim leaned against the wall of the room and sighed again, "That intern? She was the girl from the night you were shot right?" Tony bit down a bit harder on the inside of his lip, beginning to taste a bit of blood. He was still shaking pretty bad. Jim had never seen Tony this rattled, let alone see the rookie cry. He nodded, "Take that as a yes." He added, he let out another breath, knowing very well there wasn't much he could say to the young fed. "I called Anya. I'll stay with you till she gets here, okay?"

------ Many years later, after this moment had passed, Tony would be thanking Jim from the bottom of his heart for this moment of brotherhood and unspoken trust but for now he couldn't even nod as he watched the doors to surgery, biting back the tears that would fall slowly anyways, his face red and breath shallow. Through the next half hour, the only times Tony moved was when someone in the hallway made their way into the main room. He would sit up straighter and drop his hand as they walked towards him and fall back into position as they left. Time had dried the tears and his face had resumed its normal coloring but the worry was still their. He did look up when he heard a familiar voice call out to him, "Tony!" He stood up as he saw Anya jogging over to him from the door and went right in for a large hug. He hugged the only person he really felt like was family tightly, "I got here as soon as I could, Jim sent a car to get me." She didn't mention it but she was actually in a bit of pain from how tightly he was hugging her which is why when he pulled away slightly she was only slightly relieved. She looked up at him, "How's she doing?" Tony just shook his head and shrugged, frustratedly, redness returning quickly as he gestured to the doors and sat back down. Jim stood up and looked at Anya, "They're still in surgery, we haven't heard anything." Anya nodded and thanked Jim for staying, squeezing his arm slightly as the old man patted Tony on the back before leaving. Anya looked concerned at Tony and gripped her jacket close as she turned around and sat down next to him, taking Jim's place. She put an arm around Tony's shoulder and rested her head on his other as he resumed position and stared at the doors.

------ About an hour later, a doctor finally came over to them. Tony stood up quickly and looked up at the man in the white coat, "How is she? What's been happening?" The doctor nodded, "Luckily he missed the spinal cord and heart but he did hit a major artery. We were able to stop the bleed but she lost a lot of blood. We're looking for a blood match but even if we find one those are very risky." Tony nodded his head slightly, "Is she awake? Can I see her?" "Right now she's being moved to recovery," the doctors tone got even more serious if it were possible. "I'm sorry, during the surgery she fell into a coma, only time will tell at this point. But I know Sarai, she's a fighter." Tony almost punched the guy as the word coma fell from his mouth but knowing it wasn't his fault he kept it down. He breathed deeply feeling Anya squeeze his arm. The doctor shifted on his feet before adding, "Her family should be here soon. But she shouldn't have any visitors till tomorrow. Go home, shower. We'll call if anything changes." Tony shook his head, "NO! I am not leaving her." He said forcefully, the doctor was slightly taken aback. Anya stepped in front of him grabbing both arms, "Tony, there's nothing you can do right now. Besides, her family needs time too." Tony shook his head again, "What? No, fuck him! He doesn't even respect Sarai, his own daughter!? I have more of a right to be here than the ass who kept us apart!" He yelled angrily, pulling away from her. She turned and mouthed an apology to the doctor who seemed to understand fine. She looked back Tony who was pacing and steaming, "You think Sarai would want you here, being an ass to the doctors who were trying to save her life and insulting her father? Or would she want you to calm down and wake up to the tony we all love?" Tony stopped pacing and looked at her. This is why they worked as that was probably the only thing she said that could have gotten him home.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

three days later... early morning.....

------ Sarai was still out. It was beginning to worry people. Her blood count was back to normal but the doctors said sometimes the trauma was just too much for the body to handle, to come out of shock. Tony had gone home but he had been back in the early morning and he hadn't left her bedside except to go to the bathroom since. Anya walked through the halls of the hospital before coming into Sarai's room, seeing Tony asleep with National Geographic splayed open across his chest as he was slouched in the armchair next to the pretty hospital interns bed as she lay there peaceful but silent. Anya sighed and gave a small sympathetic smile to the sleeping man before she stepped further into the room. She looked over at Sarai and shook her head as she sat down next to her and spoke quietly, "You know, he hasn't left your side since." She spoke as softly as she could, reaching out and touching Sarai's hand. "I think his determination to say with you may have even impressed your dad, believe it or not." She added raising her eyebrows. She smirked slightly, "He was right, your dad is scary though." She added with a small nod. "But you have to do me a favor Montgomery.... you gotta wake up" Anya said as though begging, "He needs you... a-and I can't take care of him alone." She added fighting back her own tears now. She sniffed them back and quickly wiped her eyes as she heard Tony groan slightly.

------ Tony yawned as he saw Anya standing in the room, "Hey you." Anya smiled and walked over to him holding out a paper bag, "I brought you a sandwich." She said with a grin. He stood up and reached out to take it, "Thanks," He said warmly, "and turkey too.." Anya nodded, "Well cold turkey sandwiches are your favorite." Tony smiled and sat back down, "You gonna stay?" He asked before taking a bite. Anya shook her head, "I can't, school. But I'll stop by after okay?" He nodded, knowing he would still be here. He smiled as she made her way out of the room and he swallowed his first bite. He looked over at Sarai, unmoved lying there. He leaned forward and touched her hand gently. Just move one finger, he mentally begged, just one small pinky finger and then he would know it would be okay. It would be okay right? One finger Sarai... nothing. He squeezed her hand gently before wrapping the sandwich back up in the bag and placing it on the table. He spent most of the day talking to her, reading to her, anything to pass the time but soon he was falling asleep in the chair again, his arms folded under his head as support, he was leaning onto the side of her bed. His breathing calm, as the hand closest to hers moved up just enough to rest upon her fingertips. And as nightfall came, he had not moved an inch.

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STATUS;; complete
TAGGED;; tarai!!
CREDITS;; format stolen from lainey, with a little tweaking by me
LYRICS;; 'change your mind" the killers
CLOTHES;; While at work and the days he waits
NOTES;; I added to his offense just so it would make sense for the feds to be called. Plus seriously, my heart almost broke.

[Sarai Montgomery]

VALKYRIE HOSPITAL, EMERGENCY ROOM, DECEMBER 2007

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-----sarai had a deep love for just about anyone who came into contact with her. it was really hard to find just one person that sarai couldn't stand to be around. right now there was only one person on that list, her mother. lucille montgomery was cruel, she was heartless and she deserved nothing more than to be hated because that was all she'd ever demanded from people. it was safe to say that everyone else fell into the other category, even her father. lev had screwed up time and time again, not only with sarai but with ainsley and now with may, but he always tried to do it out of the goodness of his heart. though sarai didn't want to admit to that, and though she'd been fighting against him every second of the way because she'd been a child in love, sarai could understand why lev did what he'd done. though his mind had always been pointed in one direction, like living life with blinders on, he had tried to do what was best for his daughter with a man he'd assumed to be associated with the biggest, most dangerous mob valkyrie had ever seen. he had a right to be scared. if sarai found out ainsley was playing with a mafia kid she probably would have reacted as such in the beginning as well. that little sister of hers felt more and more like her daughter every day. though with her experience, sarai would have been able to see ainsley's side of it, she still could not blame her father forever for the actions he took against tony. he'd thought he was saving his daughter's life. in all honesty he'd done it with the best of intentions. sarai loved her father. she was just mad at him right now. but she hoped and prayed that one day things would turn out right. if she lived that long.

-----everything went blank the moment the lights faded from her view. she didn't feel tony's arms wrap around her, nor did she hear his screams for help. had she, sarai would have been completely overcome with emotions. a part of her knew that if she was ever in this kind of danger, she could always count on tony, but she'd never really thought that she would find herself here. she never would have thought herself capable of taking on a child raping freak and keeping him preoccupied until the police came. it had to be the gutsiest thing sarai had ever done and what did she get for it? she got shot. it wasn't high on the list of things she wanted to experience in life. though there were a ton of things she wanted to do before she died, getting shot was like last on that list right above forgiving her mother and having an actual bond with the woman. the hospital staff engulfed them as the emergency room doors were reopened and they grabbed a stretcher to wheel sarai to the operating room with. it was customary for friends and family to stay in the lobby. family tended to glob up the works and their emotions were just too much for an operating room. no father, mother, sister, or friend ever wanted to see someone they loved face down on an operating table with people in blus sterile paper gear slicing and dabbing at their wounds. it was something that you could stomach if you were a doctor and the person on that table meant very little to you. it was no where near as difficult to do when the person was a stranger. but get your own flesh and blood on that table, or someone you loved, and you were guaranteed to be a wreck. if it was someone sarai loved sitting in her place, she would have been a mess as well. it was no easy task and that was why friends and family sat around for torturous hours waiting for the news.

-----she coded on the table, leaving the staff no option but to defib her on the table, but after hours of work the bullet was removed and sarai was stitched up. her vitals were borderline stable, but they were stable, and there were no more bleeders. for now she was in the clear, she just wasn't going to be waking up as soon as they had hoped. they'd wheeled her into her own room, attaching her to every machine imaginable to watch her like a hawk, even one extra to monitor her brain functions. it seemed like the hospital was sparing no expense for her sake and if she ever got the chance, sarai would be forever grateful.

-----three days had passed unbeknownst to sarai. she was still lost in that deep slumber that no one could shake her out of. her brain a mix of impulses. some told her to sleep. some told her to just let go. the largest portion screamed at her to wake up. she wanted to wake up. sarai had a life to live. she had a four year old to take care of and she had a job that was begging to be worked. she had to know what happened to callie and if she was safe. she just couldn't do it like this. "You know, he hasn't left your side since." sarai could swear she could hear a voice. she could swear that over the silence that had taken over her brain, there was a voice breaking it's way through. she listened for the voice, she followed the voice, she fought to bring her way back to the voice but to no avail. she couldn't seem to break through whatever dark barrier was holding her back. "He needs you... a-and I can't take care of him alone." him? him who? she knew that voice was familiar but it was gargled by the sounds of silence invading her head. god where the hell was she and why couldn't she break free? time passed and sarai could feel her body beginning to gain back whatever hold had been lost. where ever she was, it was silent again, just the sound of breathing could be heard throughout the silence. finally sarai felt her eyes flutter open, immediately closing as the bright, white light stung her eyes. trying a second time, sarai slowly opened her eyes, looking around as the repetitive beeping noises drew her attention. she knew those monitors anywhere. hell she could even read them from here. it was a decent readout even from a first glance.

-----she glanced around the room quietly, her eyes finally settling on a familiar face, tony's. she saw him leaning over onto her bed, his eyes shut as he slept, his hand clasping hers. her brow furrowed and she swallowed hard. all she could remember was the last word out of her mouth, his name. sarai gently pulled her hand away from his, her shoulder aching with the movement. she gritted her teeth but slid her hand out from his, her hand smoothing over his hair. "tony? sweetheart wake up." she didn't know why but suddenly her throat closed up and hot, wet tears started streaming down her cheeks.

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status • finished
words • 1441
tagged • tarai !
clothes •top + pants
listening to • letters from the sky - civil twilight.
notes • seems really short compared to the last one, but i hope it's enough.

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[Antonino Giovanni]

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------ The past three days had been hard for the sleeping federal agent. He was really hadn't left at all. He went home that night with Anya. He showered and changed clothes but that was it. He was too nauseous to eat. He tried to sleep but he was too tired. You ever have that? Where you're so exhausted you just can't seem to get to sleep? I know it sounds weird but it happens. You lie there, in bed, trying desperately. You're body's too sore, your headache too large, and each time your body yawns it just seems to keep you awake longer. Its the worst way not to sleep, is to be kept awake not by work, or a crying infant, or loud party kids outside your window, but to be kept awake by your own body. That's what was happening to him. He couldn't stop thinking about the hospital. He could not help but want to be there the moment she woke up. Tony had lied there for two hours straight, just watching the ceiling as he had the doors at the hospital. He had then flipped his covers off of him, placed his feet on the floor, gotten dressed in old but clean jeans and t-shirt and made his way back to the hospital. Being past hours he hadn't been allowed in. He ended up, half sleeping in his car that night, woke up with his neck killing him. But when light hit, he ran into that place. He was lucky some of the nurses knew him and Sarai were close, they let him stay with her long past visiting times were over. He remained at Sarai's bedside ever since.

------ On the first day, her father had stopped by. Now remember, Sarai's father and Antonino Giovanni have never gotten along. Mainly because, when Sarai and him were kids, Lev had heard all the rumors about Tony's family. It's not that they weren't true, because they were but Tony was different. He had tried countless times to prove that to the man but he wouldn't listen, not to Tony, not to Sarai, nothing. He hated Tony because of his background. Tony understood that to a point, he wouldn't be happy if Anya brought home someone from the mafia, but he would listen if they tried to make a case for themselves about how they do not take part in the family business. He would try to listen. Lev never cared too. He was always preaching about Morals to Sarai like she was some horrible sinful creature, that bothered Tony greatly. Eventually Tony stopped trying. And all the time Lev had cheated on his bitch wife and had a love child? who's immoral now? But Anya had been right. So, when Lev had come to see his daughter, Tony was as nice as possible. He wasn't sixteen anymore. He wasn't scared and living in a house with dangerous men who were constantly angry with him for wanting the badge. He was older, more collected in life and obviously really cared about Lev's oldest as he hadn't left her side, the small moment of acknowledgment they shared was actually calm and controlled. Neither spoke with spite. It's not like they hugged over Sarai's body, their joint concern finally bonding them as men or anything like that but, they were respectful to each other and Lev didn't try to get Tony to leave. That was something.

------ And it was something, Something, pretty amazing. Huge step above where they were before. Tony had then left the room for a bit. He had wanted to give Lev some time with his daughter. While in the waiting room he had met the girl Sarai herself had only met recently, holding little Ainsley in her lap. Maidel Avraham, who goes by May. She seemed like a sweet girl, he had sort of inquired into her background a bit, just where she was before Valkyrie. He's afraid he may have startled her slightly for when she mentioned her mother's name, he asked her if she was Aiya Avraham from Fleshing, to which May nodded a little wide eyed. He had sensed her lack of comfort and just nodded saying that sounded familiar, and mentioned he had lived in New York. In Fact, he knew that name well. He wasn't working the case but a body of his in court was the prosecuting lawyer against Miss. Aiya Avraham who was charged with abusing her daughter, putting her in the hospital. And Aiya hardly denied it, she admitted to the acts and called them disciplining and teaching. He didn't know all the details but his lawyer friend mentioned over lunch how he was creeped out mostly by the mead notebooks of written lines. Tony had lied to May so she didn't feel uncomfortable. But he did. He wondered how much of it Sarai knew at that point. May seemed to not want people knowing. After Lev had come out, May and Ainsley had gone in, after they all left, Tony had returned back to Sarai's side and shook his head slightly. Why was the world like this to good people? Anya, Sarai's new sister, and to Sarai herself? Why?

------ Tony hadn't given up though. He had been worried but not hopeless. The doctors kept saying her vitals looked good, it was just a matter of waking up but the longer she stayed out, the less likely it became for her to ever do so. So as each moment passed, he felt that much more pain. Sleeping there, another half-sleep sort of thing as he had been getting the past three days, he drowsily felt something on his head. A hand gently, for lack of a better word, petting the top of his head, he had to be dreaming. He took in a deep breath through his nose and exhaled while opening his eyes slightly, before closing them once more before realizing he was awake and could still feel it. "tony? sweetheart wake up." Tony's eyes opened wide, that had to be the most beautiful sound he had ever heard in his life. He lifted his shoulders slightly and turned his head to look at her and smiled before leaning up again. He was wide awake now. He laughed a bit as he leaned down and kissed just above Sarai's temple, fighting back his own tears of happiness. "You had me scared Montgomery."

[/color] He said quietly not sure if she wanted to hear his internal jumping up and down rejoicing. He sat back down, this time on the space of bed next to her, holding her hand in both of his and smiled for a moment, just thinking about how beautiful she was after being near death for three days when his brain kicked back in. "Oh god, sorry. do you need anything? How are you feeling? Do you remember anything? I should get a doctor!" He spoke rushed as he stood up and looked around the room not sure which direction to go first.

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STATUS;; complete
TAGGED;; tarai!!
CREDITS;; format stolen from lainey, with a little tweaking by me
LYRICS;; 'change your mind" the killers
CLOTHES;; the days he waits
NOTES;; lol mines not nearly as long either, no worries.
[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Sarai Montgomery]

VALKYRIE HOSPITAL, EMERGENCY ROOM, DECEMBER 2007

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-----family was like oxygen to the twenty year old hospital intern. now that she had surrounded herself with them, sarai could hardly imagine her life without them. ainsley was her youngest sister, but in age and in the bond that they had, no one would have ever assumed they were sisters. that bond was so close. it was more than just by blood. anyone who looked at the pair would see a mother and daughter, not sisters separated by many, many years. of course lev probably wasn't a fan of that outlook upon his daughter. the man was a sinner, yes, and he prided himself on being a moral person ever since his major screw up, or in this case just a series of screw ups. one thing was always certain, he wanted a better life for his kids. he didn't want sarai and ainsley to grow up with hate like their mother had. he didn't want them to grow into miserable women with nothing better to do than to spite the men in their lives. basically he didn't want to raise them to turn into lucille. one lucille montgomery was enough for the world. the likes of her need not ever see the light of day after that hag was six feet under. that was practically lev's mantra now. nothing good could come out of his daughter's growing up like that. so he'd tried. he'd desperately tried to keep them away from that kind of life and he did so in all the wrong ways. he did so by trying to control their lives. little did he seem to notice that neither of his girls were like their mother. had he taken a moment to stop hating the woman in order to watch his daughters and how they acted, he would have known that long before he'd ever divorced that evil woman. he just wanted the best for his girls, for all of his girls. now that may was part of the picture, the same thing applied to her. he wanted her happiness and he wanted her to be free of everything her mother had done for her, just another daughter to protect from her past.

-----for someone who took his daughter's problems all upon himself, lev sure had a funny way of being there for his girls. since she'd been a toddler sarai could only remember seeing her father for about one third of the calendar year. he flew in for the weekends or in between trips to other hospitals, but he was always gone, leaving her behind with her mother to deal with. he was never there and he was trying to make up for it now? how so? by letting sarai take ainsley into her home? by letting her offer may a place in her home as well? none of his kids wanted to be around him and yet he thought it was all on him to save their lives? since when was it even his problem. it should have come into account a long time ago, like say when sarai was a child. he should have realized what pressure his traveling was putting on his wife and kid back home and he should have stuck his ass in one specific hospital and stayed there. lev was a neurological specialist. if there was anyone on the planet that was brilliant in the matter of the brain, it was lev inbar, but did that really mean that he had to travel the world for various cases? he was saving lives, yes that was always a good thing, but it was always at the expense of his family. sarai made a point to be a different kind of doctor. she didn't want to be all hoity toity and have the kind of skills that were only demanded in high profile cases. no, she wanted to treat real people. not to say high profile cases didn't consist of real people, but she wanted to treat those who didn't have the millions of dollars needed to fly someone like her father out to a certain part of the country. she liked being in the pit and taking care of incoming patients of all shapes, sizes, and social classes. everyone was equal in her eyes and that was what set her apart from her father. she was a doctor for the sake of everyone else while lev was a doctor for the sake of himself.

-----sarai had never been in a situation like this before though. she definitely took the term "going above and beyond" and took it a step further. she'd intentionally thrown herself in harms way to make sure a monster was put away. the board was going to have a field day with her later on, maybe even take away her privileges or her right to practice medicine at the hospital. they wouldn't have really cared so much that she did it for a patient. all they would see were the dangers, the insurance issues, the reckless endangerment of herself and the staff, yada, yada, yada. either way it was worth it. it was worth the trouble to know that she'd done all that she could to fulfill her promise to callie. she was going to keep that little girl safe and something told her that she had, because sarai didn't know the outcome of that night yet. all that mattered was making sure that man never touched her again. she hadn't done a lot of thinking that night. sarai had looked up to see the man and screamed an alarm, the man had noticed it and tried to turn around. at that point she'd worked off instinct. she knew that she needed to keep that man around so the police could grab him. she knew that if he got away he would only be likely to hurt someone else later down the road. she couldn't stand for that. so she'd reacted and put herself in harms way. sorry to say, but she would do it all over again to get that man off the streets.

-----she would have to thank tony later for being the one to actually bring him down. she would have to thank him for a lot of things. it took a lot of her strength just to lift her arm in order for her hand to graze through his hair. there was a pain in her shoulder, but she ignored it for now. she smiled as she saw him perk up. sarai hadn't really expected to see tony here. after the fight and all of that, well, everything was just in one big haze. she had no idea what was going on anymore, but she was happy to see him nonetheless. she squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to cry as tony leaned forward and kissed her temple, her left hand automatically grazing his cheek as he did so. there was just something about the two of them, when they were together they were best when they were close to one another. right now that was all sarai wanted. "you had me scared montgomery" sarai nodded. maybe she'd been expecting something a little more along the lines of excited, but who was she kidding, she hadn't even thought tony would be here in the first place. expecting a certain reaction was a little conceited of her. "i'm sorry." she croaked, her throat choking up with the tears she fought back. sarai clutched at his hand, rejoicing in that small amount of contact but practically bathing in it. she hadn't realized how much she'd needed him, until now. she knew that she wanted him around since he'd walked back into her life, sure, but needing him hadn't really crossed her mind. she hadn't thought her emotions ran that deep for him.

-----suddenly tony was frantic and running around the room. sarai watched him pace for a moment before she laughed, patting the empty space on the bed that he'd just left. "i'm fine. the doctor can wait. i do need something though." she waited until he was finally seated, her gaze locked on his as she could feel those tears once again. "please tell me that i kept my promise. the little girl, the one who's father..." she found she couldn't say the words "who's father shot me" but continued anyways. "please tell me she's safe. that i didn't do it for nothing. please tell me she's okay."

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status • finished
words • 1655
tagged • tarai !
clothes •top + pants
listening to • -- - --.
notes • --.

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[Antonino Giovanni]

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------ Tony's head was spinning with what he should be doing at that moment. He really did feel like splitting into multiple pieces and being able to do them all at once. One mini-tony getting the doctor. Another mini-tony calling up Sarai's father and sisters. Another mini-tony calling anya. One mini-tony jumping with joy, one getting water, one holding her hand, and the last mini-tony making her spaghetti. What? He may have rejected his mafia ties but the man was still Italian and if there's one thing he knows how to really cook from scratch, in fact the only thing he knows how to cook from scratch, it's spaghetti. Tony was good in dangerous situations. He could stare down a gun, feel alright at the end of it. He was shaken a few times, somethings a person will never get used to but he is pretty good at staying calm and unmoved. He was alright, not great but okay at comforting those at loss, he was very good at making them feel safe if he was on protection detail in a safe house. But when it came to dealing with his own emotions, we all know Tony has a few issues. Did you know he still has never told Anya he loves her? He does. She's his family, and he wanted to kill the boy who did this to her, not that he would. He would just arrest him and treat him a fair amount more harshly than others. But no, he has never told her. It's not like she ever says it to him but he's the one that brought her to his home, shouldn't he be the first to say it?

------ Then there was Sarai. His best friend. The girl he loved as a kid and the girl he pretended not to love now. He even lied to himself about his feelings for her. He hated seeing her hurt. He hated that she was in this bed, and he had been one of many to shoot the perverted man who had done this to her. He had been lost without her. He had been lost when she was there and he just couldn't think it through. He and Sarai have never even been on a date but there was only ever one other girl he felt strongly about. Her name was Diana. He met her when he was eighteen and in the Academy. She was studying to be a journalist and they became close friends. He became FBI, she got an internship at the New York times. She was great. Smart, beautiful, witty. She was very artsy and spunky. Seriously this girl punched so hard it bruised every time. She was always outspoken, very strong and gutsy. She could be a bit inconsiderate at times, but it was part of who she was and her charms. She didn't censor herself in life because she said she was too sick of the old geezer editing her work. She wanted her big break as a journalist. And Tony had just completed his first job. They were a good couple. They were a great, almost but never technically engaged couple. They never talked about it but that's where everyone thought they were headed until he got a case that needed to be hush hush. Assuming everything sad in bed with his very serious girlfriend was off the record, he told her about it. And then, the next morning, the story came out front page. She betrayed his trust for a story. She saw at as doing her job. He saw it as her way of dumping him.

------ But he had never told her he loved her. Nine Months of his life and he never told her he loved her. And did he? Maybe... he will never know now. But what he did know was even in those nine months, he still wrote letters to Sarai. He also knew that he was hurt. And in love or not, Diana did break his heart. In his and Diana's best memories though, he hadn't felt like he did the moment he saw Sarai again. He hadn't felt like this. This was something else, something new and yet completely familiar. Like one of those songs that shape your life but is slowly forgotten until you hear it on the radio and everything ounce of love you had for it comes flooding back into your bones. This feeling was better than the touch of a baseball's threading to your fingertips. It was better than skinning the ball which Tony had never done, only a few pro's in history ever had, Babe Ruth being one of them. But this feeling was something else too. It was terrifying and he didn't know what to do with it. Sarai had apologized when he told her she scared him. She hadn't needed too. She had done what was right. He paced a bit still trying to decide what to do when he heard her voice again. "i'm fine. the doctor can wait. i do need something though." Tony stopped immediately and walked over to her, sitting back down on the bed next to her, "Yeah of course, anything."

------ Tony watched as tears rose in her eyes and an overwhelming need to hug her rose in him. "please tell me that i kept my promise. the little girl, the one who's father... please tell me she's safe. that i didn't do it for nothing. please tell me she's okay." Tony's lips formed up into a smile as he let out an exasperated sigh and nodded. Her first thought was for the little girl. Her first thought! Diana's first thought would have been 'get me out so I can do my job' or 'wonder if I can make this a human interest piece?' He wanted to pull her into a hug and squeeze her for being so unselfish but he didn't want to hurt her even more than that. He nodded, taking Sarai's hand again, he put his other hand on her cheek gently, "Yeah, you did good, kid." Kid was just a term of endearment on Tony. He called most the guys on his team kid at moments. He had since he was young. Would even call his older friends kid, it was just a habit that meant he was comfortable with you. Sarai would know that. He took the hand away from her cheek but kept the other on her's and glanced down for a moment before looking her in the eyes, "He's dead." He said, calmly. He took a deep breath to explain, "He wasn't just any other perv, he was arrested a few years ago for filming child pornography. the evidence to convict just wasn't there and then he disappeared. Only reason I was there was because we got a call from our boss saying the local pd ran his face and got a hit. When we got here, he had you and when he pulled the trigger, about 18 more were pulled and he was shot down." He nodded again, "The girl, Callie, we found her Aunt who Callie thought was dead actually. But she was just threatened by him to stay away. Apparently she had called social services and since they couldn't see any evidence of abuse, nothing happened. So Callie's with her, they're still in Valkyrie for now"

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STATUS;; complete
TAGGED;; tarai!!
CREDITS;; format stolen from lainey, with a little tweaking by me
LYRICS;; 'change your mind" the killers
CLOTHES;; the days he waits
NOTES;; I hope you don't mind the story at the end, I knew sarai would probably want to know where the girl was so I made something up. I can change it if needed

[Sarai Montgomery]

VALKYRIE HOSPITAL, EMERGENCY ROOM, DECEMBER 2007

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-----she'd never been in a full fledged relationship up until now. before riley there had quite literally been no one in her life. sarai had sworn off of it all because, well, she'd never gotten over tony. how silly did all of that sound? to still pine over the unrequited love of someone when you had no idea what their feelings for you ever were. time and time again sarai had kicked herself for feeling the way she did, but that never changed what her heart told her. it just didn't. it never changed the fact that since she was a child sarai had loved him. back then it hadn't been noticeable, or it had been that kind of childhood thing where you said you loved someone but in a way that was similar to loving a member of your family. if sarai had close girl friends like tony she probably could have said that she loved them too. that was more or less her heart. sarai could love anyone with little or no reason to. if she hadn't been so shy, sarai probably could have had a lot of friends who were really, truly close to her. but then she always considered how life would look if that was the case. if she'd had a bunch of gal pals growing up it was likely that she and tony wouldn't have spent as much time together. it was likely they never would have gotten so close, and that a lot of aspects in her life, a lot of memories that she held dear just wouldn't exist. she never wanted to consider the possibility that that could have happened. loving tony the way she did just felt...right. there was nothing more she could say on the matter. but her love for him hadn't transitioned until about a year before tony had run away. slowly but surely she started noticing his quirks and the things about him that she just couldn't seem to live without. like the way his eyes lit up when he talked about, referred to, or watched a baseball game. the boy certainly had loved his baseball.

-----tony loved baseball, and the being in the fbi, like sarai loved being a doctor. she was drawn to it like a moth to the flame. it wasn't so much about the power for her. she didn't want to imitate god in her choice of whether or not someone died with the single swipe of a scalpel. she didn't need to feel that kind of control. no her high was all about saving lives. sarai wasn't happy until a heart started beating again or she'd kept one from stopping. there was nothing like the feeling of seeing someone come in on the brink of death and to bring that person back. to see them walk out of the hospital on their own power a week or three later just made her want to do back flips. the feeling was all the more powerful when it was a child. sarai loved children, in fact they seemed to flock to her. her favorite detail was the pediatric wing because she could sit around with a child with leukemia and read them stories, or use her teddy bear stethoscope to hear their heartbeats, around the giggles of course. to see a child smile when they were in a place that was so opposite the kind of environment a child should be seeing, it made her day all the brighter. sure she was a doctor and she would treat grumpy elderly folks on their last legs before they were sent to a home, or she could take care of the mid-life crisis victim who thought it daring to buy a sports car and see how fast it would go resulting in a car crash, but treating children was something so much more special to her. that was why callie meant so much to sarai. her main goal was to see a child smile again. knowing whether or not she was safe and whether or not she'd ever get the opportunity to smile again made all the difference. it was one of the main reasons why she'd put herself in harms way to help her. well that and stopping the man for good.

-----though it was humorous to watch toni rushing about the room, she knew that at some point he was bound to hurt himself if she didn't stop him. the poor thing looked like he was pulled in a million directions and sarai wanted nothing more than for him to be calm and relaxed. maybe it bothered her that he was anxious to begin with. sarai had known tony to be the stoic one. nothing ever seemed to rattle him and when she was in trouble as a kid sarai knew that she could go to him and he would calmly give her a rational answer. to see him up and frantic was something she'd hardly ever seen before. even the night tony had run away, they hadn't known it was their last moments together and so she'd never seen him in a frenzy. this was weirding her out and she just wanted normal, calm tony back. she breathed a bit of a sigh of relief as tony stopped in his tracks and sat back down on the bed beside her. pushing a button on the side panel of the bed, sarai sat herself upright. she was awake now and just lying back was not helping this conversation in her mind. she watched him smile, her brow furrowing in confusion. was what she was asking silly? she felt his hand on hers, but her attention was drawn to the hand on her cheek. her eyes locked on his once more, was the news bad? was she in trouble? was it all for nothing? did the man still get to her? but her worried faded and a smile reappeared, listening to those ever familiar words. it had been a long time since she'd heard him say those words to her. "thank god." she whispered, her eyes closing in sheer bliss. even in a moment like this where her head was woozy and her shoulder ached terribly, sarai had never felt so accomplished. it was by far the best thing she'd ever done and she didn't really know what else to feel other that joy.

-----her eyes shot open at his next words. the man was dead? "oh my god." she said automatically before he got a chance to explain. her heart jumped in her throat, the slight shock making it's appearance on the heart monitor off to the side. her ears rang and she felt a little dizzy but tony's words still broke through all of that. she slowly started to come back as he spoke, listening to his explanation why. "i'm so sorry" tears fell down her cheeks as she shook her head. she was the reason why a man was dead. a life had been taken because of her. "it's my fault..." she heard tony continue to speak, this time about callie. she was glad that she was back in a good place. maybe she would get the life she'd deserved from the very beginning. still, sarai couldn't feel the joy in that happier ending because she was still shocked that a life had been taken because of her. she'd sworn an oath. she'd promised to do no harm. and now a man was dead because of the rash decision she had made.

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status • finished
words • 1488
tagged • tarai !
clothes •top + pants
listening to • -- - --.
notes • yeah hun, the story was fine. it was perfect.

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[Antonino Giovanni]

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------ As a kid, before he had been kidnapped and rescued by the FBI, the young Antonino Giovanni was in many ways similar to who he was now. I mean, now he had switched sides and was actually, believe it or not, more mature than he was then but other than that, a lot of him remained the same. When he was really young, and his father and oldest brother, who practically could be his father age wise, they put a gun in little Tony's hand. Tony still remembered what it felt like to hold that pistol in his hands for the first time. It like nothing. An extension of his arm. He hadn't found it an amazing feeling, at first Tony looked at the gun like it meant nothing to him. But when he saw the reactions he got from his family when he shot the can down on his first shot, he realized what the gun meant to his father and the rest of the family and he loved it. He loved being praised and he was such a little natural. The youngest of the siblings and the fucking golden child. His father had high hopes for Tony, working alongside Fausto. Tony was supposed to be by Fausto's side during his leadership. Tony was the baby boy of the family. They loved him, he loved them. He had a very good first thirteen years as the hot shot, attention loving smart assed little kid brother of the family. Worst of all, Tony could remember how he looked at Fausto. His oldest brother, his strongest brother. He admired him. He loved getting attention and hanging around Fausto. Fausto would let him tag along on jobs and everything as long as Tony didn't get in the way. They were real brothers. They still were in some ways.

------ Family was important to Tony, despite him not talking to them. It broke his heart to leave, but it also broke his heart when they turned on him because of his new ambitions. He sort of understood why but he had gone from the golden mafia child to the hated and abused wannabe cop at the same time his voice was cracking and girls were becoming a reality. But despite everything, Tony still withheld information from the FBI. He did not think he could ever stomach being forced to testify against his family, even one like his. He just couldn't do it. So he told them he was never allowed to see any of the jobs, before he was thirteen he was too young to go and then he had decided he wanted to be an agent and his family decided not to let him come until that dream was dead and dashed. He would not testify against Fausto, but if they find different evidence on their own, Tony would not be able to protect him at all. Not that he would screw up bad enough to leave the cops something substantial to find but still, there was some sense still in him of thinking "Fausto's my brother." And he knew there was something in his brother's mind that was similar. Had anyone else burned him, like Tony had burned him when he was sixteen by pinning him to the ground before taking off like that? Had anyone else on this earth done that to him and then had the balls to show up in his town again? He would have had them killed on the spot. But so far, both him and Anya had been ignored by less legal of the Giovanni clan.

------ Tony was not naive, he knew there was a large chance that would not last forever, but for now, he was thankful. He also felt really really guilty since technically, if found out, he could be charged with obstruction of justice. He did feel bad about it but he knew he would feel worse if he didn't hold it in. Another reason he's the same kid, he's still a member of the Giovanni family. He was to the team what he had been in his group of siblings, the youngest little smart assed hot shot who loved showing off a bit and loved attention. It was who he was. He also just happened to be good at a lot of things. Except Math, math and cooking. I mean, he was good at grilling burgers and brats and steak and that kind of thing. But last time he tried to make spaghetti, he forgot about it and burnt the noodles to the bottom of the pot. And the last time he tried to bake the turkey for thanksgiving ended up in Anya spraying the whole kitchen with the fire extinguisher. It wasn't the whole kitchen, only the oven, that was alight, Anya just had really bad aim with that thing. And don't ask about vegetables, he hated them. He was like a kid always trying to feed them to the dog, only one he would ever eat is raw carrots dipped in ranch.

------ Tony wasn't a good cook, and he was a horrible mathematician. And the worst of his talents? Ignoring the aching feeling in his heart as Sarai had been unconscious. It nearly killed the Italian-American who had refused to leave her bedside. "oh my god." Tony nodded slightly, he was worried she might feel a bit guilty. That was just the type of girl sarai was but she shouldn't. The man had to be shot down. Not just because he had already open fired onto Sarai but because he still had the gun and was going to start shooting cops next or worse, more civilians. Not the FBI nor the local Police Department could allow that to happen. "i'm so sorry, it's my fault..." Tony shook his head as she began to cry, "What? No Sarai... come here." He added as he scooted forward a bit and leaned over wrapping his arms around her in a hug. He held her there as he continued, "He's the one that shot first, he shot a civilian, and still had his gun flared, he had to be taken down." He pulled away a bit, holding her shoulders gently, looking her in the eyes, "at that point, it wasn't even a case of your life or his, it was a case of multiple lives or his... He chose to go down like that, pulling the trigger on his hostage when surrounded by cops, he knew what would happen, he knew he was caught." Tony sighed slightly and glanced down, "Besides, It was me and multiple others that pulled the triggers taking him down, not you."

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STATUS;; complete
TAGGED;; tarai!!
CREDITS;; format stolen from lainey, with a little tweaking by me
LYRICS;; 'change your mind" the killers
CLOTHES;; the days he waits
NOTES;; yay

[Sarai Montgomery]

VALKYRIE HOSPITAL, EMERGENCY ROOM, DECEMBER 2007

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-----this had to be one of the longest conversations sarai and tony had had in a while. in fact, it had to be the most contact they'd had as well. sarai couldn't explain it. before it was like tony held himself back. it was like he didn't want to touch her, like the very thought disgusted him. what a kick that was to the gut. tony was sarai's weakness. he would always be her weakness. even if she had been dating riley, she didn't want to admit that she still thought about tony more than was healthy. it wasn't fair. god none of it was fair. why in the hell did she have to have these tremendous feelings for someone who didn't reciprocate them. it was so hard to look at him here now, while in her hospital bed, and see that he cared. well she knew he cared. he kind of had to. the two of them were like family. with her luck he probably thought of her as a sister. you care for a person the way you do a sister. it gives off the same emotions, but there isn't the right kind of love there. not the kind of love that sarai really wanted. it was her dream just to have him in her arms and have him saying the things she'd imagined for more than six years. it was what had helped her through that long amount of time without him, even if it hadn't been so healthy. to dream and wish for over six years that one say she would be with him and they would love each other the way she'd always imagined, yeah that kind of thing wasn't healthy. it was the first step to really losing it, sarai just hadn't reached it yet. who really dreamed of something like that? i mean little girls could think that way, like playing with barbies or hoping that they find a knight in shining armor, but to put a face to that dream? to imagine only one person? to give that knight every one of tony's quirks? it was borderline psychotic.

-----if only he felt the same about her. maybe then it wouldn't feel so crazy. maybe then she could let herself live it down because at the moment, she wasn't. her vision blurred as the tears rushed to her eyes, only able to feel the movement on the bed as tony closed the distance and hugged her close. she wrapped her arms around him, both reveling in the comfort and in his touch. what could i say, she was a sucker. her fingers gripped in his shirt as she hugged him close, ignoring the overwhelming pain that shot through her body and made her heart rate skyrocket. she bit her bottom lip, hearing him talk, trying to excuse the fact that he'd shot a man because of her. "he wouldn't have even been there if it wasn't for me." she muttered as she tucked her face into the crook of his neck. god if she wasn't sobbing like a child sarai would be doing back flips at the fact that she was touching him like this. she sniffled as he pulled away, her hands wiping at her eyes even as he held her shoulders. "i-i know it's just, i can't help but feel to blame." her shoulders shrugged for a moment before the pain kicked in and she put them back to where they were before, a grimace on her face. ow. double ow. her gaze shot up at his as he spoke. she didn't know he had been the one to shoot the man. when she'd seen him running...well she hadn't had a chance to really look. all she'd seen was his face. she hadn't even known if it were really him of just her imagination giving her the one thing she'd want to see before she died. she hadn't even seen what he was wearing or what he held in his hands. she hadn't noticed the uniform or the gun he'd been toting. all she saw was his face. to know that he'd been the one, or one of the ones, to shoot the man down...well she wasn't sure what it did to her.

-----a sound from the door got her attention immediately, the head nurse opening up on alert when the heart monitor had sky rocketed. "barbara." she said with a smile, before she saw the hard, cold look on her face. "what the hell are you thinking! lay down." barbara walked into the room, her girth and her stern look making her appear more intimidating than usual. "you, cop boy. we can't have you sending her heart rate in a whirl. what the hell were you doing to her?" sarai opened her mouth to speak but hadn't gotten a chance to peep before barbara turned her attention back to her. "you should know better. you can read these monitors better than any other intern in this hospital. tell me, what are they telling you." her expression was rather confused before sarai pulled her glance away from the large, african american woman to look at the many monitors surrounding her. "oh crap." she said as she looked at the heart rate monitor. no wonder the woman had rushed in. "mmmhm" she heard in that stereotypical way that barbara liked to chastise her. "you should know better." she then turned on her heel to look at tony, staring him down despite the fact that he was a cop. "and you. what are you trying to do? kill her? you can't get her all excited after waking up like that. she's got to be stable before you shock her in whatever way you did. now get out!" "NO!" sarai screamed, her heart monitor skyrocketing again. "barbara epiphany jones he stays." it was the first time sarai had likely ever spoken up to the woman who would without a doubt rip her in two if she ever got mad enough.

-----her demeanor changed, calming slightly as she walked up to sarai, laying a hand on her shoulder and glancing up at the monitor. "alright, alright he can stay." she said in a wary voice but sarai couldn't hear her. she didn't want to hear her. she just didn't want tony to go. "don't make me knock you out." barbara threatened as the pressure on her shoulder increased. "now lay down." sarai laid back, her body relatively limp from over exerting herself. "the morphine thing isn't working." she said finally. the machine was supposed to dose her with morphine on regular intervals to keep the pain from getting too great. with the machine fully functioning she should have been able to hug tony and not feel near as much pain. since she felt it all, and could feel it all now, she was sure that something was wrong with it. barbara checked the machine, giving it a little tap. the silent room then heard the little sound of pressure giving way and sarai could feel immediate relief. "call if it stops working again. this damn new-fangled technology doesn't know how to work right." barbara muttered as she headed out of the room, giving tony a warning glance before she closed the door behind them. sarai sighed and smiled. "i must have really scared her. she's never that bad." sarai said with a chuckle, finally able to make jokes and whatnot as the pain subsided. "i'm sorry about her. she's heard talk around the hospital from the night we ran into each other from the first time. she's overly protective of me." it was probably because she was a brilliant intern and barbara didn't want to lose her for any reason, either to death or by her quitting and going to a different hospital. the woman was harder on her than anyone else, but sarai had learned more under her supervision and teaching than probably any other intern had. it was part of the job and sarai didn't mind it. "ooh sleepy." she said drowsily, her hand reaching out for tony once again. "is it too much for me to ask you to stay?" she asked as she nestled back into the bed, fighting for her eyes to stay open until he answered her.

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status • finished
words • 1681
tagged • tarai !
clothes •top + pants
listening to • -- - --.
notes • --.

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[Antonino Giovanni]

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------ Tony had always had to deal with a fair amount of worry at work. He had to worry about his own life. Most importantly he had to worry about his team's life. Because of his connections to Anya and his blood family, he had to worry about them and secrets getting out. The Italian boy was no where near what someone could call a corrupt cop. He was trustworthy and a bit of a golden heart, but despite not having much of one, he was also a family guy. He missed the big family environment he had grown up with. He missed his older brothers and sisters. He missed being the baby brother. He missed hanging out with his cousins and nephews and nieces and more. He missed that environment. What was sad was that had he not been kidnapped, the boy would probably be in the family business right now and be damn good at it. But he had been kidnapped and rescued by the FBI in more ways than one. It was one moment that literally shaped his life. It gave him a life of doing good and in doing so stripped him of his family. Oh God, he sounded like some tortured super hero, which was not right but whatever. He was not a corrupt agent, but he was not a perfect one when it came to the law either. He didn't give the FBI everything he knew about his family business. He even sometimes faked something in order to steer them off. He felt horrible about it but even though he had already betrayed his family, it was hard for him to give up caring about them all together. He worried about them. He had to. But up until now, he hadn't been forced to worry for Sarai's life to such a degree.

------ The whole point of him avoiding his feelings for her was to keep her away from his family connections and to keep her away from the men who may have a grudge against Tony, whether they are family or just men who were friends of those Tony put away. But here she was, shot and in pain because of a man who Tony had never even met. She was hurt because of a man who had not been there because of Tony. But maybe if Tony had been there sooner... It seemed like no matter what he did, he couldn't protect her. "he wouldn't have even been there if it wasn't for me." Tony gave her a small smile, "yeah and that little girl would still be with him if it wasn't for you." He reassured her as he held her close. It felt good to be close to her. "i-i know it's just, i can't help but feel to blame." Tony nodded, there wasn't much he could say to make that feeling go away. His first kill on the job may have saved the lives of two hostages and another fed but believe me, he was still shaken and felt like he had committed murder. It took awhile but the guilt slowly dulled. It never went away though. And he was glad for that. He didn't want it to go away. When the guilt of killing your fellow man disappears, so does your humanity. He felt bad about the man who had just lost his life, but sometimes that was a necessary choice. Him in prison with innocents dead or the gunner dead. Tony wasn't going to let Sarai die for the sake of some child abuser. He couldn't do it, so don't ask him.

------ Then the peaceful moment passed as a stern faced nurse came rushing in. Tony stood up as the nurse had a near panic attack. He looked at Sarai hoping he hadn't hurt her. "you, cop boy. we can't have you sending her heart rate in a whirl. what the hell were you doing to her?" Tony put his hands up as if to say not guilty, "I hugged her, was that not okay?" He answered concerned, not sarcastic. He watched as the nurse seemed to ignore that comment as she and Sarai looked over the monitors. When Sarai looked at the screen and reacted so did Tony, his breath catching up in his throat, "'Oh crap'? 'oh crap' what? What does that mean?" He was again pretty much ignored or unheard at that moment. And then the woman turned on him, telling him to get out. He would have gone too, whatever was best for Sarai when he heard the injured girl shout from the bed, "NO! barbara epiphany jones he stays." He gave a small smile at her from near the door, standing beside the nurse who looked annoyed as hell. "Sarai, its okay if you need to me to leave..." He replied, hoping she wasn't trying to get him to stay for the sake of his feelings. His feelings were only just that he wanted her better and safe. But that wasn't happening as the nurse agreed to let him stay. He watched as the two fixed Sarai's morphine, good, he didn't want her in pain. As the nurse left she shot back a warning look to Tony who couldn't help but smile at her, "Bye Epiphany." He retorted as she left the room, adding playful emphasis on her name. He smirked slightly, what? he was a guy who worked with other guys in dangerous situations, poking fun was how they got on and well, tony tended to be a smart ass.

------ He turned back to face Sarai who seemed to be more comfortable than before. He gave her a soft smile and walked back over to her. "i must have really scared her. she's never that bad. i'm sorry about her. she's heard talk around the hospital from the night we ran into each other from the first time. she's overly protective of me." Tony smiled and gave a small shrug, "She was just looking out for you, that makes her pretty good in my book." Plus, the really strong and forceful african american women had to be some of the most amazing people in the world. Ever see an african american woman see her kid in danger? They're like tigresses protecting their loved ones. It was something to be admired. Tony made his was back towards the bed but this time sitting down in the chair just next to it where he had been sleeping just moments before. He took her hand as she reached out for him sleepily, "is it too much for me to ask you to stay?" Tony squeezed her hand gently, "I'll be here. Rest all you need."

- - - - - - - - - - - -

A few weeks later.....

------ It had been some time since Sarai had been shot but it still felt like yesterday to Tony. He had stayed with her in the hospital even after she woke up. He only left as her family came in. But after she had been released he had gone home. He had another girl to worry about. Anya... she had been quiet lately. He didn't know how to help her. They had ruled out another possible rapist but it still wasn't known who did it, which had to be worse. He had been at work a lot but he had been distracted. One because of Anya, but thankfully she was better. Quiet but better. She no long jumped when he put his hand on her shoulder and she was sleeping through the night. The other was because of Sarai Montgomery. He had known her since he was a kid and he had known he felt things for her one doesn't usually feel for one's best friend. He knew that his life was one way and that he didn't want her hurt but she had been hurt anyways and he didn't know how to protect her. She ended up fine. She was even back to work from what he knew. But he couldn't get her out of his head lately. Right now he was trying to distract himself with work and failing to. He was just doing some desk duty so he wasn't in a suit or anything, not in a t-shirt either to be fair. Tony sat at his desk flipping through some papers, pretending to read, hoping that it would eventually turn into real reading when Jim came up to him and sat half on the desk, "How's your girl doing?" He asked Tony as he took a drink of his coffee.

------ Tony sighed and leaned back in his chair. How was she doing? She was safe, for now. He shook his head and ran his hand through his hair, he cleared his throat as he sat forward again, "She's not my girl Jim, Sarai and I are just friends." Tony stated before giving a shrug and looking up at him, "But she's better, actually back at work..." He added but furrowed his brow in confusion to the half smirk that was playing on Jim's face. "I meant Anya, Rookie..." He corrected Tony knowingly. Tony opened his mouth for a moment before finally nodding, "Oh yeah... right... I knew that, she's.... better than... she's better." Jim nodded and took another drink from his coffee. "Speaking of the other one, I think you just contradicted yourself. Because if you two were just friends, then I'm younger than you." Tony smirked, "you wish-" "No, Rookie, you do." He began with force, Tony's smirk faded as he listened to his teammate, "look kid, I was there when you first saw this girl the night you were shot, I saw the look on your face, and hers for that matter... and honestly, I'm getting bored waiting for you to make a move, what in god's name is holding you back?" Tony was a bit taken aback by that. Not that Jim wasn't the type to be straight forward but it was a little out of nowhere. He was right though. Tony and Sarai hadn't been just friends since they were young teenagers. Really young teenagers.

------ Tony shook his head slightly before looking down at his hands, he was about to reply but apparently Jim thought his took too long to respond, "I mean christ kid, she seems open to it, and in this game, guys like us don't really have the time to waste with walls." Tony shook his head and groaned slightly, "Believe me Jim, its not walls that are the problem, it's the game itself. What we do. I don't want anything to happen to her." Jim rolled his eyes and put his drink on the table, "Oh that makes sense because really the only bad things that happen to people in the world come from us..." Jim responded sarcastically, "She was shot Tony, She almost died from something unrelated to you. You almost lost her without her ever knowing. Bad things are going to happen whether you're with her or not but at least you might be able to go through it together... but hey, what do I know? I was only with my wife fifteen years before I lost her. And my biggest regret, is that I wasted the first few years pushing her away. But do what you want rookie, you're both young and resilient I'm sure it'll be fine." He added before patting Tony on the back, picking up his coffee, taking a sip and walking away, leaving Tony a little stunned on the outside but his head reeling on the inside before it finally clicked in his head. Jim was right. Anya had been right. They were right.... He was an idiot. And before you could count to ten Tony was out the door and heading straight for the parking lot. He got in his car and took off, straight back to Valkyrie and on his way to hospital where he knew she would be.

------ After the drive back from L.A. Headquarters, Tony pulled into the hospital and parked in the visitors section. He jogged across the lot to get into the E.R. which looked full and busy but he needed to talk to Sarai now. He smiled as he saw her, looking beautiful and busy, he ran over to her, "Sarai! Sarai, I need to talk to you." He said urgently, "it's important, I can see you're busy but I don't think I can let this wait." He didn't care if he had to tell her here. He just needed to tell her. Now that he had finally gotten the point, he didn't want to wait a breath.

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STATUS;; complete
TAGGED;; tarai!!
CREDITS;; format stolen from lainey, with a little tweaking by me
LYRICS;; 'change your mind" the killers
CLOTHES;; the days he waits and a few weeks later
NOTES;; late, idk where my muse has been lately, I hope the skip ahead was okay

[Riley Turner]

----A FEW WEEKS AGO, riley pulled his car into the parking lot at hitten apartment complex. it had been a long week. valkyrie's very own former golden boy was out of town. he hadn't traveled alone either. riley turner somehow spent the week with coco lehoux. they had had a lot of talking to do and getting out of valkyrie seemed like the best idea to go. there was soo much baggage here in the city. the best way to clear their heads was to just get some piece and quiet somewhere where all the drama wasn't. they stayed in california, just stayed in a little town a couple cities away. when coco told him that she was pregnant, he said he would help. she wanted to have an abortion. though riley said he'd support her in any way she wanted, he did give a fair case about how he was responsible but in the end, it was up to her. when she called him, he was surprised. she said she was keeping the baby and then the next thing he knew, they were road triping it. it was nice to get away, at least for a little bit. surprisingly, it was helpful. they talked about a lot.

now, riley felt good. things were still messed up but now everything in his life right now was starting to get better. he had been in a dark patch for a long time. riley could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel and for him, that felt good. he had been a little nervous leaving his brother, regan, at the apartment by himself so he asked reed to just kind of make sure regan wasn't getting in trouble in the apartment by himself. regan was working at bad seeds so that eliminated any parties or something riley wouldn't approve of. especially if it involved his apartment. walking up to the door, riley could hear explosions and gunshots coming from within. as the door swung open, he discovered where the noise was coming from. reed and regan were playing a video game. figures. however, it was paused right as riley walked through the door. reed jumped up and hopped over the couch. "dude. where have you been?" riley gave him the 'duh' look. "you know where i went. out of town with coco." riley put his dufflebag down. "you didn't answer any of my phone calls." riley could feel the irritated tone coming from his brother. "my phone died and i forgot the charger. why? what's up?" "it's sarai. she was shot a few days ago. riley, it's been all over the news." riley's face dropped, not believing it at first. "what?" "yeah, dude. straight-up shot at the hospital. some freak molested his daughter or something. i kept calling you, you never answered." suddenly, he was angry with himself. he should have remembered to bring his charger. this happened a few days ago? "is she ok?" reed was silent for a moment. like, he was choosing his words carefully. "reed." "last i heard, she was still in a coma." riley felt like crap. he was the world's worst boyfriend ever. his girlfriend gets shot and here he was out of town with the girl carrying his kid. oh, and by the way, sarai still didn't know about the situation with coco. "i'm going to the hospital. i'll... be back..." he trailed off as he turned around and went out the door he came and right back down into the car.

it took him about ten minutes to get to the hospital, and once he did he went into the giftshop to buy some flowers. at least they'd be there in the room, you know? not that that would make up for anything he did, or in this case, didn't do. riley found the nearest nurses' desk and positioned himself where one woman was sitting at a desk. he cleared his throat. "excuse me. i was wondering if you could tell me where sarai montgomery's room was?" without even looking up, the nurse said, "she's really only allowed to have family in there right now." riley looked at the nurse who wasn't looking at him. "well, i'm her boyfriend. does that count?" the nurse stopped and looked up. "oh. you're her boyfriend?" riley slightly squinted her eyes. the way she worded it sounded weird. "her room's right down at the end of the hall. on the right." riley responded with a thanks though he was really weirded out by the nurse. once he got to the end of the hallway he turned to face the open door, but stopped. she definitely wasn't in a coma. at least, not anymore. she was hugging some guy. a guy that looked her age. oh. guess riley knew why the nurse had been acting weird. whoever this guy was had probably been here. longer than riley had. riley looked at the floor and dropped his hand carrying the flowers. even he knew when to not intrude. this was definitely one of those moments. riley stepped to the side and leaned against the wall. he saw a nurse pass him and go into the room. it jogged his stance and riley stood up. "are you ok, sir?" riley looked down and saw yet another nurse standing in front of him. riley scoffed and looked down at the flowers. "no," he said truthfully. "but, here. these are for you." he gave a smile as he offered the nurse the flowers. she looked down at them surprised, but took them anyway. "thanks, i guess." riley shrugged, turned, and started walking down the hall again. doctors and nurses passed him as he walked down the hall. he didn't look like it on the outside, but riley was actually hurting a lot, on the inside.

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STATUS, complete CRED, format and graphics to me LOCATION & TIME, hospital, 2007 LYRICS, she is by the fray CLOTHES, jeans, gray t-shirt, vu baseball cap TAGGED, tarai I SAY, late, sorry. hope this sounded ok!
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[Sarai Montgomery]

VALKYRIE HOSPITAL, EMERGENCY ROOM, DECEMBER 2007

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-----never in her life would sarai have thought she could have done the incredibly stupid thing she'd done. who really walked out in front of a child molester? she knew she did it for the right reasons and she knew that she had helped people in the end, but where in the hell had her sanity run off to? what she had done was completely unlike herself. sarai was calm, cool, collected. she could stand there emotionless when people dogged her about her past and she would appear fine with it all. she would never let someone appear like they had an upper hand on her emotionally if she didn't feel that they deserved to see her that way. people like the other interns she worked with. they had a tenancy of riding her like it was a sport. they would put pictures of her back from her modeling days up on her locker and watch as she tore them down. they'd pick on her about her "icy" ways and make cracks like "where was the guy who could melt her heart." honestly for a bunch of people on a career path to saving and mending lives, they certainly hadn't the slightest concern when they were trying to ruin hers. did it make any sense? of course it did. for a medical field where saving lives was the key focus, well it was pretty damn cutthroat. if you could mangle someone's pager so they didn't get messages from their resident or get someone drunk in case a high stakes patient came in, well you were on your way to seeing every late night, stupidity induced accident that walked through that door. the night sarai had come face to face with a bullet there had been enough people in the e.r. to please the most underutilized intern, but that still didn't make them happy. they didn't want to do stitches or sterilze wounds, they wanted the bus driver with internal bleeding from hitting the steering wheel or the kid who caught the corner of a book to the eye and needed surgery to try and save it. intern. ha. they were more like vultures.

-----sometimes sarai was no different. after all getting into the operating room meant you got valuable learning time, but at the same time sarai couldn't stand to sit back and fight like animals over one case while hundreds of equally important cases awaited the attention of a licensed doctor. anyone in the hospital could tell you that sarai had one of the best stitching skills next to the residents, and she could treat a burn or anything considered minor faster than you could blink. she was great with diagnoses and she could clear an emergency room of patients fast enough to give the staff breaks. she was good at what she did. did that mean she never wanted to see the o.r.? of course it didn't. she wanted the opportunity to learn just as everyone else had and her skills with "normal" cases had earned her a respect in which residents were asking for her. they'd let her stitch up organs after a resident had worked on them. she got to hold clamps to bleeders. she got to offer advice for how to approach a problem. all of that. that of course never meant that she wanted to see the o.r. from a patients perspective. she could have gone her entire life without needing to see that bright shiny overhead light pointed at her, get this, gun shot wounds. there was probably no one in valkyrie more likely to not get shot than sarai. goes to show you that really no one was safe in this town. she knew that overall she did it for the right reasons. she saved an innocent life. the downsides were that she was responsible for another life being taken and that she'd nearly lost her own life. now that she was safely in recovery sarai could say that it was worth it. even if her conscience was giving her hell.

-----she couldn't believe that she'd had the audacity to speak up against barbara. not many interns could do such a thing and live. still the woman stopped trying to throw tony out on his ass and had just let things be. she knew that trying to kick him out would only make her heart rate monitor crazy and well that wasn't good for anyone. the lesser of two evils was letting the fed stay. barbara definitely didn't like cops. she'd never been too keen on them having to show up for the occasional case to take statements and whatnot. cops clogged up the works and made things at the hospital all the more difficult. being the head of nurses, she really didn't need more trouble than she was already ankle deep in. it didn't surprise her when, after her morphine drip had been fixed, barbara glared at him before leaving. she'd had it against law enforcement for a long time. she always saw the ways that the law failed. every time a person was wheeled into the hospital from a drive by shooting or drunk driving accident, barbara saw the many ways the law failed. she didn't have too much appreciation for people who didn't make her job easier. right now that person was tony. sarai watched as barbara walked out of her room, muttering something uner her breath before she was out of earshot. sarai couldn't help but smile. barbara was like a mother to sarai, in her own unique way, and sarai cared about her.

-----sleep beckoned her the moment the pain subsided. morphine had a funny effect on her and could knock her out in no time so it hadn't really surprised her. still the idea that tony would leave after she was asleep...it was unsettling. she couldn't explain it but she really just didn't want him to leave. alright so she could explain it. despite everything sarai still loved him. something that was completely unfair to the man she'd been dating for the past few weeks. poor riley. it wasn't his fault in the slightest that she'd walked into a relationship with him knowing how she always went weak at the knees around tony. he was nothing but kind to her and sarai had tried to care about him. in fact she did care about him. but sad as it was nothing seemed to compare to the butterflies she always felt when she saw that familiar face. riley didn't deserve that. he deserved someone who could see the good in him and embrace it. sarai had tried but really? who was she kidding. the guy deserved better than her. he shouldn't have to play rebound to a relationship that never even existed. because right in that moment as she was drifting off to sleep, there was no one she would rather be with than tony and that just wasn't fair to riley at all.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

-----"i see the human shield is back." sarai looked over the high counter of the nurses station to glare at one of the fellow interns who was back there doing god only knows what. she'd been called just about everything in the book since she'd been released and today was her first day back. they'd had time to make things up and they still weren't the kind of zingers the other interns had been looking for. sarai had been back to work for about an hour and half and already she'd heard a lame quip from every one of the interns on her floor. why in the hell was she the butt of all jokes? it had never made sense to sarai. first she was the ice queen and now she was the human shield? someone had even called her swiss cheese because the bullets had "left her riddled with holes." these were the brilliant minds who in a year or so would be cutting people open. there was no hope for the rest of the human race. she'd been off to a rough start this week. sarai had talked to riley and found out that he'd come to the hospital to see her and had seen her and tony. it wasn't like he'd walked in on anything but the way he spoke about it made it sound like they were screwing in plain sight. anyways, they'd come to the consensus that their relationship wasn't really going anywhere and that it wasn't fair to keep it up. sarai understood. she'd hurt riley. he put up a good show but she could hear it in his voice. that was what had killed her. he was so nice about all of it. even when he was telling her that they should break up, he said it in the kindest manner possible. ugh. sarai had no arguments. riley was right. he was levelheaded and kind despite feeling god only knows what about her. did he hate her? she wouldn't be surprised if he had. still sarai told him that he would make a wonderful father, father! go figure!, and that she would be there if ever he needed her. riley had seen sarai with her youngest sister. he knew that she knew how to handle kids. sarai had no worries about him on the father front. riley was kind, loyal, and fiercely loved his family and that was just about everything that a father needed to be. he would be fine. she was sure of it.

-----"what's the matter? is there a bullet left in your brain?" one of the interns snidely remarked, snapping sarai out of her fog. "just give me my damn charts before i come back there and get them myself. then, you know what, you can screw off." sarai spat back. she was in no mood for intern heckling today. she'd been here an hour and a half and already she was up to her eyeballs in work. she was behind on everything. some of her long-term patients were still here but any of the other cases that had been hers before getting shot had been taken over by another doctor and now she was left to sign charts, dictate, and anything else that the file needed before it could be filed away. in the few weeks time that it had taken her to recover, sarai had racked up a stack of over twenty charts that needed finishing. usually she would do all the finalizing as the charts finished, but being that she'd been otherwise incapacitated, the files had just piled up. she'd gotten about four done while she'd been recovering in the hospital. matteo had had a moment of kindness and had brought them by as he consulted with her about another case. it was a rare matteo moment that had nearly knocked her on her ass. but that was at least four charts she didn't have to finish. oh goody. she still needed the other twenty-so charts to finish. the longer it took her to get these done, the more opportunities the other interns had at patients. it was a simple numbers game. by holding her off, they hoped to get her patients, even if she was the intern who did all of what was considered "grunt work".

-----"don't you have a bus incoming? i would think you'd be out there waiting for the three car pile up instead of standing here keeping me from my work." she looked up as the asshole went wide-eyed, tossing her three charts before he went dashing off for the emergency room exit. "ha. idiot." sarai said with a happy little smirk. it usually wasn't her nature to lie, especially about something as important as a person's life, but the guy was really driving her nuts. besides, it would be funny to see him all dressed up and waiting for an ambulance that wasn't there and wasn't on it's way. sarai picked up the charts and began leafing through them, the sounds of the e.r. picking up slightly as a man screamed in pain. most people couldn't concentrate in a place like this, but for some reason sarai could. she wouldn't doubt that she could read charts in the middle of a bomb going off. she'd probably make a great medic out in the field. ha. like she'd ever let herself get shot at again. suddenly from behind sarai heard a familiar voice, the same voice that she would forever be able to pick out of a crowd. "hi tony." sarai said with a quick smile, her eyes begging to get back to the charts as a string of five gurneys came in. "w-what? what's so important?" she looked him over. he wasn't bleeding or anything and yet the expression on his face was one she'd never seen before. it was like he needed to say something or the world would end.

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status • finished
words • 2450
tagged • tarai !
clothes •new top + new pants
listening to • -- - --.
notes • lainey your post damn near broke my heart.

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[Antonino Giovanni]

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------ It had been building up in him for a long time. What he was about to do it, it was something he needed to. It was something had needed to do for a long time. Ever since he could remember it had been Sarai and now, he was finally going to say it out loud. It was exciting and terrifying for him. Growing up as a teen, he hadn't had anyone but her. The only other person he felt safe being himself around was his one year younger niece, Cora. Cora had been the only one to not really care that much what Tony wanted to do with his life. She just focused on him being happy. He supported her back with her later husband, now late husband. Not that he knew that. He hadn't seen or spoken to Cora since he was sixteen and had run away. The fact of the matter was, when he ran he left more behind than just a few family issues. He left behind actual family. Cora, Luca even missed Fausto at moments. It was hard not to, Fausto had helped raise him and he had been close to him before he had been kidnapped and saved by the Feds which sparked the initial switching of sides for Tony. And Sarai. He had left Sarai behind that day. And it took him this long to realize why it hurt so ridiculously horrible to walk away from her house that night without even seeing her. He remembered feeling the sore in his throat as he crossed the street from her house, pulling the shoulder strap of his backpack higher onto his shoulder to prevent it from falling. He remembered that his feet were already in pain but he barely felt them as his heart pounded so hard it gave him a head ache and could hardly breath.

------ Sixteen year old Antonino Giovanni had looked back just once more, up at the window to the room he knew Sarai was. And as he saw her shadow he had to fight himself to not go to her window and tell her in person what happened but he knew he hardly had the time. The only bus for that night left in a matter of minutes. He had pulled on the sleeve of his coat before looking down at the ground, feeling guilty but hopeful, seeing as to his knowledge she was being left with contact information. As soon as he had gotten to New York, he checked but had no messages from her. Despite that one of the first things he did was find some paper and a pencil and write to her. And he kept writing to her. Those letters were the most honest things he had ever written. And yes, eventually they weren't intended for her to actually read because he had given up hope she would but they were still his way of staying close to her threw out the years. Even when he was with his ex. Whenever things got tough, he wrote to Sarai. He wondered if she had felt it so much. He knew she had missed him, he knew it had been hard for her to let go at first but what about for the years afterwards? He knew she had liked him when they were kids but had that stayed with her? He was nervous. He was confident and terrified at the same time but it didn't matter what she said, at this point, it mattered that he told her.

------ Screw that! of course it mattered what she said but no matter what fearful thing she could say he knew he was telling her. He dodged a line of five gurneys came zipping past him. He nodded as she smiled and said hello, his breath catching up in his throat. "w-what? what's so important?" Oh no maybe he made it sound life and death, he shook his head, "I mean more so that I have waited long enough... it has." He said semi-cryptically. Oh god Tony really you don't even sound like yourself. Just tell her. Tony internally cursed himself as he followed her movements slightly, sort of letting her attention be split as they seemed anxious to look at the charts. Tony took a deep breath and watched her eyes, "Look, I was a kid when I met you." He began, trying to keep his voice calm. "And i was lost and I was angry. My family had all but abandoned me." He broke eye contact to swivel his hips out of the way as a nurse came through pushing someone in a wheelchair with what looked like a broken leg, he mumbled an apology before shaking his head at the distraction. He went back to Sarai, "then there was you, and we became friends Sarai, best friends." Wow way to build up slow Tony. Although lets be realistic in such a rushed situation that might not be the best thing. "But then as we grew things changed, we liked each other and we almost had a date but I always pushed things off and pushed things away Sarai because I didn't want us to change I didn't want us to move forward."

------ Tony just held his eyes to hers and dropped his shoulders in a small sigh, "And I was scared. My life it's dangerous. It always has been and it's unlikely to get much safer with my chosen profession." He paused for a moment to step out of someone else's way, "But then I left and we lost touch but we never really lost each other, at least not on my end. I wrote the letters all the time and then you were here and you were you, you know?" smooth Tony, really oscar worthy writing there. He took a breath and tried to act less confused, collecting himself for a moment before continuing. "And then I kissed you and walked away and it was a mistake. i should never have... I should never have walked away." He admitted, "I was a teenager again after that kiss and terrified. What if you were hurt? what if knowing me... being close to me... what if got you killed?" It was his worst fear. Tony didn't know what he would do if he caused Sarai any harm. But with his family and his career he had always just assumed, alone was best. He was better off with out her and more importantly, she was better off without him. He looked at her, sincerity in his voice, " I thought I was protecting you."

------ Tony bite the inside of his lip, glancing down at the hospital floor for a moment, before looking back at her. Despite the chaos in the room around him, and the nurses no doubt listening in as he spoke, Sarai was the only person he could focus on or even recognize existed at that moment. He returned his gaze upward and stepped forward, shaking his head a bit, "But Sarai, I can't. I can't protect you from everything. You were shot, I stayed away and I still almost lost you and the Jim said some things and he made me realize, bad things are going to happen to you no matter what!" He said the last part a little happily which probably wasn't the best thing to sound like. "I don't mean that its a good thing, I just mean bad things are going to happen and I want to be the one you wake up to when they do and I want you to be the one I see when all I want to be is alone." What?! How did that make any sense? Okay you know what? It was pretty clear Tony was new at this whole "emotional honesty" thing. But this was it. He only had one more thing to say to her. He looked her in the eyes and spoke clearly and solidly and more sure of himself than the entire conversation leading up to it. "Sarai, I'm in love with you.... I am in love with you and not some unrequited, should've but didn't in the high school years way, I'm talking about in the last longer than a lifetime, can hardly sleep at night, wrote over a hundred letters to you when we're apart, they should write songs about us way."

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STATUS;; complete
TAGGED;; tarai!!
CREDITS;; format stolen from lainey, with a little tweaking by me
LYRICS;; 'change your mind' the killers
CLOTHES;; a few weeks later
NOTES;; yay yay, about damn time

[Sarai Montgomery]

VALKYRIE HOSPITAL, EMERGENCY ROOM, DECEMBER 2007

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-----tony really did pick the damnedest times to up and do something. today was one of the busiest days she'd seen since...well ever. even the night of the bus crash, the night she was shot, things seemed to be handled a lot better than what was going on at the moment. it made no sense. the sad part was that sarai wasn't supposed to be helping. the terms of her coming back when she had was that she was to take it easy. finish charts, do easy diagnoses, nothing too stressful or painful. that basically meant that she had her hands tied. by the time she was finished with the stack of charts that had piled up, the staff figured she'd be well enough to work on new patients. oh goody. she was up to her eyeballs in paperwork when she could be saving lives. but whatever. if this was what she had to do in order to get back to work then by god she was going to do it. she couldn't believe how chaotic it was. sarai hoped to a point that it would be so crazy that they would ask for her help but with all the interns against her and all the nurses wary of her condition, well that chance was on a slim to none margin. besides, she needed to know that the hospital could handle itself without her. she was just a puny intern yes, but sarai had been at the hospital almost more than she'd been at home. she should probably just forward her mail here. she was more likely to get it at the hospital anyways. was that sad? no, sad was the condition of her front yard that had become overgrown and jungle-like. she'd meant to call someone while she'd been recovering at home but she'd been doped out on meds and well it just hadn't crossed her mind. now the weeds were taking over the sidewalk and her grass was four inches long. she made a mental note to call a landscaping service that would tend to that little problem later.

-----the way he sounded when he spoke, well it had sounded like an emergency. to be honest she'd almost jumped at the opportunity to maybe help someone. but when no one came in bruised or bleeding, sarai figured it was something tony had to say. something that couldn't wait until after this hectic day of work? apparently not. her brow furrowed in confusion, her eyes begging to get back to those charts that were her ticket to getting back to the pit. god now she sounded like all the other interns doing anything they can to get to those special cases. only in this case sarai didn't really care about what condition the patient was in. she just wanted to help people. charts were easy enough. they were tedious and time consuming which had to be the problem. that, and sarai had made a point to get herself well involved in the patients no one else wanted meaning she had plenty of time consuming tedious work to do. must have been some kind of cosmic payback. yeah that's what it was. this was karma coming back to bite her in the butt for being and idiot and egging on a child molester. this must have been just the beginning of karma as far as getting him shot had. sarai wasn't a huge believer in religion, but she did believe in a sense of balance and right now sarai had put the balance out of whack. she grabbed one of the charts from the counter and turned back to tony, watching as he dodged a wheelchair. this really wasn't the best place for a conversation but it looked like they were going to have one. had she known that was what he wanted she would have pulled him away to a conference room or something to talk. "yeah i miss those days." sarai said with a quick smile. whatever it was he was trying to say...well he was taking forever. sarai had to wonder if barbara had called him to distract her. like maybe thinking she would take more time to recover if someone talked her out of it. well if that was the case then tony was wasting his breath. she was back to stay.

-----now he was bringing up the almost relationship they had and sarai could feel a slight twang of pain in her chest. of all the things to bring up. how long had sarai been wanting to here that there may have just been something back then? she'd thought for ages that her feelings had just been her own, projected onto him in the hopes that he had felt that way. six years he'd been out of her life and for six years she'd hoped and prayed that he had felt something, anything, more than friendship with her. didn't want us to move forward wait, so was she still wrong? did he still not want anything with her all those years ago? this conversation was starting to make her head spin. the confusion was pretty much written on her face as tony looked up at her and sighed. she was confused about what he said, about why he was saying it, and about why this time and this location. there were a lot of questions, just none that she could form right now. the biggest question being where in the hell was this conversation going? she laughed as tony spoke about his life being dangerous, her hand immediately covering her mouth. "apparently so is mine." she had time to recover as someone else came rushing by and tony had to step out of their way. the confusion came back full force the minute he started speaking again. and you were you? what in god's name was he getting at? the confusion on her face fell slightly as tony brought up the kiss. yeah the kiss. the one brightest moment of her pathetic life that had been dashed to pieces one moment later. that one just stung. it was a bad idea to go bringing that up. she swallowed hard, listening over the growing din of the emergency room as tony tried his damnedest to make a full sentence. the power of that gaze as he spoke to her, the sincerity in his voice, was almost enough to knock her backwards. sarai had to somewhat lean against the counter. she wasn't sure where this was leading but it sounded more and more like...no. that had to be her imagination.

-----she watched, wide eyed as tony took a step toward her. she had to grip the chart in her hand tighter for fear of dropping it and sending twenty plus papers streaming across the floor. she didn't understand the happiness, almost relief, to his voice. this was all just one confusing slap after another. what was he getting at? really? then it all seemed to click into place. i want to be the one you wake up to...i want you to be the one i see when all i want to be is alone she didn't turn away from tony as she reached behind and put the chart down on the counter. she couldn't turn away from him if she'd tried. he had her full attention and there was no way she was looking away now. even if for a second. somehow, through all of that, sarai had made sense of it. tony wasn't an emotional guy. he didn't like to show when he was in pain or when something had really gotten to him. he'd been that way since he was a kid. for him to say that he wanted her there despite whatever was getting to him...well that was a bit of code sarai didn't have to decipher. she knew exactly what it meant and she had to fight the stinging sensation she felt in her eyes. if she didn't fight it, she knew she would cry. then he said it. the words she'd been looking to hear since she couldn't even remember when, the words she'd heard him saying to her in her dreams. now she really did cry, one hot tear falling down her cheek. her chin wobbled and sarai had to clamp a hand over her mouth to still it. she swallowed hard, completely unaware that the entire hospital had gone quiet. completely unaware that even patients in pain had stopped moaning and groaning to watch the little show going on only a few feet away from them. sarai took a step toward him, her hand reaching his shoulder first. silently her hand slid up his shoulder to cup his cheek. finally stepping up to him, sarai wound her arms around his neck, holding him tight. "i'm in love with you tony. i always have been." she whispered into his ear. reveling in how his arms immediately wrapped around her own body and held her close. for so long she'd dreamed of a moment like this. she'd never imagined it would actually happen. but nothing felt more real than this. even her dreams couldn't have matched the way she felt right now.

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status • finished
words • 1772
tagged • tarai !
clothes •new top + new pants
listening to • -- - --.
notes • definitely didn't match the epicness that was your post, but i tried. hope you like.

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[Antonino Giovanni]

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------ It felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders that Tony hadn't even realized was causing him back problems. Obviously this was metaphorical but still, point made. He had just spent so much time fighting it, even he had slowly begun to believe that there was nothing between them. While he was open to making his own family of friends with in the Bureau, he was always very careful with women he became close to. His life is dangerous. He doesn't want to marry and leave someone a widow within the first year. He doesn't want to fall in love with a girl, and then have his enemies attack her. He just... he's scared, and he doesn't want to let people close to him. He dated, he hooked up, after all, he's a young healthy guy, he would have a girlfriend but the most common reason for them breaking up is always his inability to talk to the girl or let them in. No, as far as he was concerned, his heart was closed to romance in order to protect them. But all of that was complete bullshit and Jim knew it. Jim knew a lot about Tony. Jim knew all about his family. Well, maybe not ALL about Tony's family.

------ Now, no matter how moral Tony is, everyone lies. While the FBI knows who he is and his history, he told them that his father hadn't allowed him to come along on deals since he was a little child. He told the Bureau that he had never actually witnessed his father or tight knit family members pull off any illegal deeds. Telling them this meant he didn't have to testify against him brothers or anyone. It was a lie and honestly, it eats him up inside because he thinks most of his blood relatives deserve to be locked up, Tony just wasn't strong enough to be the one to do it. This is the fuel of most of his angry and self hatred if he has any. It's those damn family values that got drilled into his head. But if they come after him and Anya, I swear to you, he'll got the FBI without hesitation. Anya's more his family than they were. So Jim knew a lot but he didn't know that. At the end of the day, Tony was a family man. He has his loyalties. While Tony does care a great deal for family, there is one thing he understands well. Doing the right thing. It's what drove him away from his family in the first place. It is what ended his reign as the favorite baby in the family. Was it worth losing his family over? Well, every time he looked at Anya, whom he would have never known, and every time he helped someone he knew it was the right thing. And the fact that he and Sarai would probably have never been so close had he been into mafia training. No, it was the fact he needed her that kept them close.

------ Tony had never told her this, not to her face, he wrote it in the letters, but, it was because of her that he kept fighting it. If he hadn't had her to lean on in those vital teen years, he didn't know if he would have had the strength to continue on his path of becoming a federal agent. And by that, any and all he saves in his past, present and future life, is credit to her. As he spoke, other than the occasional dodge of people rushing by, his focus was all on her. Watching her face for any little possible reaction, he tried and failed to pace himself. Why was he so nervous? This was his best friend, there was no one he cared about more in this world than her. And even if she ended up not being IN love with him, he for certain she loved him. Nothing would change that. And she was not the type to be so freaked that she would no longer be able to handle friendship. Tony was the same, he cared about her too much to let her go, no matter what her reaction. After he finished he couldn't help but just watch her, holding his breath. He had said it. He had actually said it. He told Sarai, his best friend of how many years that he was in love with her and rather passionately too. Honestly he hadn't expected it too come out quite like that. He didn't know he had such romantic notions in him. Maybe that was because no one had been able to pull them out of him until now. Or she was the one and only person he had ever felt like this about.

------ Tony took a short nervous inhale as she looked at him completely stunned and seemingly undistracted since his ramble first began. She stepped towards him and he knew everything was okay. He closed his eyes as she touched his cheek before hugging him close and he was finally able to breath again. He lifted his arms and wrapped them around her waist, bending down just slightly. He turned his head a bit towards the crook of her neck and smiled as he could smell her shampoo, he always loved the smell of girl's hair. "i'm in love with you tony. i always have been." Tony squeezed a bit tighter, not so much as to hurt her but just a bit tighter as he heard those words. He let out a short relieved laugh but didn't let her go. He was shocked he had had a girl so amazing fall in love with him but if he was being perfectly honest, he was not shocked to hear she loved him. I think part of him knew that, just like part of him knew he would never move past her. He grinned and held his hold firm as he stood back, lifting her off her feet maybe a little less than a foot off the floor and spun around, not so fast her legs would swing out and hit anyone but fast enough that she was back in the same spot in a second or two. He pulled away a little bit, one arm still around her waist as the other hand reached up and brushed a loose bang back from her eyes, he just looked at her for awhile when he heard himself say words he wasn't expecting but were out of his mouth before he could think about it. But he would never regret it. "Marry me?"

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STATUS;; complete
TAGGED;; tarai!!
CREDITS;; format stolen from lainey, with a little tweaking by me
LYRICS;; 'change your mind' the killers
CLOTHES;; a few weeks later
NOTES;; SOOOO late, lol but aww