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Post by Anabel Bailey on Jan 30, 2010 13:06:56 GMT -6
 For the past two weeks everything had dragged slower for Ana than she ever knew possible. Getting through the last two weeks had been tough. The unsure looks that Monday followed by the pitying looks for the rest of the week and now this past week as well. Perhaps if that had been all she might could have dealt with it; for once their pity didn't bother her like it usually did, she almost wanted it. But it wasn't just trying to survive in a sea of pitying looks. It was that she came home to an empty house, or at least it felt that way. She saw her fiancé, but they didn't speak. Slid into bed beside him, but they wouldn't touch. Once it was as though they were the same being at times, now it was as though they didn't even know each other. She grieved the loss of Jason almost more than she grieved her baby, and the grief she felt over her baby seemed impossibly deep at times. If she had him she felt as though the pain over Noah would gradually lessen, like they could help each other to get over it. But that didn't seem likely, at least not for now.
Unraveling the towel from atop her head that had been helping to dry her hair, Ana tossed it aside on the vanity and gave herself a long look in the mirror. The biggest change aside from her now flat stomach was her hair. It was no longer the soft blond it had for so long been. The streak she periodically dyed pink had faded to where it was scarcely noticeable and the ends of her hair were now blond intermixed with black. She had done it last week; it seemed to fit her new attitude. It wasn't altogether out of character for her, really. Anabel had always been a bit of a free spirit in her style and it often reflected her current emotional state. Taking her fingers through her damp locks, Ana let out a heavy sigh. Her hour long swim had worn what energy she had left out of her. Yet she did it daily, once her homework was done and Jason was missing or zoned out on the couch. That was she didn't have to face the way he couldn't quite look at her. She found if she kept herself busy all the time she didn't think about it nearly as much as normal, a coping method that in reality did her few favors. Yet despite herself, her mind would occasionally wander, most often at night when she was trying to sleep and would give anything for the comfort of the hold of the man beside her. It was then the loneliness and the sadness would hit her and nearly disable her with their strength before sending her into a fitful sleep. It was this pain that drove her to keep busy whenever possible, and exhaust herself before she even thought of sleep.
Walking out into the living room, her eyes gravitated to the couch, her eyebrows raising to not see her fiancé slouched into its cushions and seemingly completely gone from this world. Heading across the room she glanced into the study, supposing perhaps he might still be reading, but he was not there either. Shrugging her shoulders the girl gave up; she was unusually used to her fiancé periodically disappearing over the past couple weeks. Shuffling into the kitchen she found his note, simply written with his name at the bottom. It wouldn't seem like something to be upset over, but using his name as a way of signing things was never something he'd done with her. It was almost always an "I love you" or a shaky attempt at a smiley face. What bothered her even more though was where she knew he'd gone with little doubt. A dark look crossed her face and she turned to the black refrigerator, taking out a bottle of red wine, half of it already missing. Reaching up above the cabinet over the counter she took out a single glass and uncorked the bottle of wine. She watched the liquid swirl about the glass with a wistful look; wine had been a comfort to her since she was little. Her Spanish mother had raised her with wine and by the time she was a teenager she'd realized how comforting the alcohol was. When she and Jason had begun seriously dating Ana had given up drinking except when she was with her mother as Jason frowned upon it so, or at least once had. In the past two weeks though she'd turned back to it, accepting the bottle her mother had brought her without second thought for a change before requesting a second, unable to purchase her own at only age twenty.
Carrying the bottle into the living room by the neck with the wine glass in her hand, carried elegantly with its stem between her middle finger and the one that still bore a sparkling, resplendent engagement ring. It was the one sign that there was still hope for them as a couple, that they could still make it, and would, whether they could see it now or not. Setting both on the coffee table she sat down on the couch, reaching for the glass before slouching back in to the comfortable sofa. She had always loved this couch for how cushy it was. Dropping back against it with Jason's lips on hers and his hands exploring her body like he hadn't felt it a million times before had perhaps been one of her reasons for loving the couch so much. A discontent groan left her and she shifted, taking a big gulp of the wine in her glass and holding it for a moment, swallowing it when she heard the doorbell. She was certainly not expecting any visitors and hesitated for a moment, worried some sort of criminal might be behind the door. Even in the Valks crime wasn't unheard of. But hearing the excited barks of her Great Dane and Jason's much more petite Australian Shepherd brought her a certain comfort and she set the glass aside, standing and walking to the front door.
Undoing the locks she set her hand on the black and white dog's back, her sign for him to not give their guest a hug as he was so very fond of doing, especially to Jason. Pulling back the front door the little Aussie however did hop out the door, her entire fuzzy body wagging with excitement as she sniffed the person's feet. Ana's eyes went first to the person's feet, a woman's, clearly, before trailing up to a face, having to gaze up a bit at the taller woman, her hand still on the Great Dane's back to keep him back before clucking at the smaller dog to bring her back to sit by her feet. "May I help you," the small blond woman asked, smelling the alcohol on her own breath. Brushing a lock of her hair back and focusing her shockingly blue eyes on the other girl's attractive, freckled face, she felt a blush creep over her cheeks. She certainly didn't look her best with her hair damp, no make-up, and with no bra on under her shirt and regardless of who this person was she hated not looking good. Shifting her weight she breathed in, not entirely sure what to do.
TAGGED sarai jordana montgomery
OUTFIT i won't give up that easily
WORD COUNT twelve fifty
NOTES not my best...
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Post by Sarai Montgomery on Jan 31, 2010 13:25:27 GMT -6
 SARAI JORDANA MONTGOMERYVALK STREETS, BAILEY/IRVING HOME, SEPTEMBER 2007[/font][/center] -----sarai saw death on a daily basis. though it was a tough thing to say, it came along with the territory, being a healer. eventually, no matter how good at diagnosis you was and no matter how many lives you saved, there was always going to be that case that you lose. the first was always the hardest. this was true even for the strongest person who outwardly shook it off as being nothing more than some cosmic happening. even if they shook it off as being something they couldn't control or some hopeless case that was hardly worth fighting for. one way or another, whether it be right after a procedure or when they got to the safety of the confines of their own home, that death always came back to haunt them. you swear it'll never happen again, even though consciously you still know that making that promise to yourself is beyond idiotic. there was death everywhere. if you screwed up in your job in the slightest, the consequences could be beyond what you've ever dreamed. with one slip of a scalpel you could end a life. that was a powerful weapon to wield, the knowledge that you brought life or death and that the odds were always stacked against you. it was powerful, it was scary as hell, but at the same time there was always the possibility that you could save someone. there was always the slight possibility that your job could be done right and that you'd succeeded in allowing another soul the opportunity to go back out into the real world and have a second chance at life. the fact that you could save lives alone was one of the only redeeming qualities of her line of work.
-----still, it never made the death of a patient easy to bear. no amount of lives saved could make up for that one loss, and that loss meant that much more when it was the life of someone close to a friend. sarai wasn't sure exactly why she'd come to jason's house after the little heart to heart they'd had. maybe it was to check and make sure he was still okay, maybe it was to meet the infamous ana that she'd heard all about but hadn't ever really seen. sarai had heard story after story about ana from jason. things got that way when you worked so close to someone. being around jason all of the time in an environment that demanded such absolute trust and faith in one another lead to some seriously strong friendships. which was probably why many medical shows like grey's anatomy showed people in the supply closet's and surrounded by drama. emotions were everywhere in a hospital, even if you pretended you had none. needless to say, jason had told sarai plenty of stories about ana. that had probably been the reason why he'd confessed to her in the first place. the day that jason returned to work he'd spoken to no one, said nothing unless it was to a patient, but he had opened up to sarai. he'd told her about how he felt and how much pain he was in, and surprisingly enough he listened to her when she tried to offer a little advice. since in most grieving circumstances that didn't happen a lot, it meant more than anything that jason had actually had the stomach to listen to her babble on. i mean really, she'd never been in this situation, she'd never lost a child. though ainsley was probably the closest thing to a daughter she would have in a number of years, sarai still couldn't imagine how hard it had to be to lose your own flesh and blood. it had to be unbearable.
-----that had to be why she was here, knocking on his door and hoping someone was on the other side. she ran her fingers through her hair with one hand, her other hand preoccupied and holding a stack of containers. she did feel a little silly just standing out here, hoping someone was home, but she just felt the overwhelming need to try and do something. everyone else at the hospital was willing to just shrug it off as jason's problem, one he would get over soon enough. to sarai that was not enough. it wasn't enough just to sit back and watch him walking around in his stupor. it wasn't enough to just watch and hope that he would someday feel like the world was not crashing down on his shoulders. instead she had to do something. she had to watch out for him while his priority was anything but watching out for himself. it was just in sarai's nature to care about such people. hell, sarai cared about everyone. sarai looked up as she heard the rustle of metal against wood, a small smile coming to her lips as someone on the other side of the door began to unlock it. she was first greeted with a dog, a cute australian shepard who was very fond of sniffing her feet. "well hello there." sarai said with a chuckle as that black, wet nose touched her skin and tickled her. she watched the dog return inside the house and finally looked up at the woman standing before her. "you must be ana?" sarai said, though it sounded more like a question. "my name is sarai, i work with jason. i was just in the neighborhood and i figured i'd check on him. after our talk a few days ago i got really worried. oh, and i brought you some things." she extended her hand, filled with three containers, to ana. "it's nothing much, just an easy batch of food that can be microwaved and some chocolate. the...um...the chocolate is for you." well crap, now she was nervous. she'd never met this woman before and yet she felt like she knew her. "i find that drowning myself in chocolate always seems to help, i was hoping it might give you a little upper hand."
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status • finished
words • 1210
tagged • anabel !
clothes • click.
listening to • -- - --.
notes • --.
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Post by Anabel Bailey on Feb 9, 2010 14:46:24 GMT -6
Ana watched the little Aussie's excited dance at the visitors feet, knowing her own dog was dying to join his sister. The woman couldn't tell the merle coated dog, no, though; the poor creature had dropped into a depression, partly because of Jason's own sadness and her too sensitive nature, and partly because she simply missed the love she was so used to having showered upon her. Jason paid her little mind now that he was too caught up in his grief and though Ana tried to pay attention to both the dogs, for the smaller dog they called Dash, it simply wasn't enough to pacify her desire for her master's attention. Perhaps in that way, Dash and Anabel were very similar. Clicking her tongue after half a minute or so, Ana brought the dog back closer to her, not wanting to annoy their visitor, especially if she were not a fan of dogs, though she usually let the Aussie sniff as she was relatively small and much less intimidating than the other dog at Anabel's feet.
The blond's head nodded when the other woman inquired if she was Ana, a questioning look crossing her face as she answered a slow, "Yes." The look disappeared however when she introduced herself, already recognizing her as a coworker of Jason's before she said so. Her name, unique as far as Ana was concerned, had stuck in her mind when he'd mentioned her before. Her eyes dropped and she let out a sigh when the other girl said she'd been worried; her and Ana, both, though honestly, Annie's was more of a fear than a worry. Her best friend and the person she'd for so long wanted to spend the rest of her life with was spiraling down into a drunkard. It was terrifying to wake up every morning with the smell permeating their bedroom, just hoping the man beside her was still breathing. Ana hated to think though that Jason would speak more to the woman standing in front of her, a friend, than he had said to Annie in weeks. It was sort of painful to swallow. When the woman mentioned food, a smile, for perhaps the first time in several days, crossed her lips at Sarai's generosity. Her mother would bring by some of her dishes, but some of it, even though she wasn't still pregnant, kind of made her tummy turn at the memory of times the scent had driven her to the bathroom. "Thank you," she said, quietly, her voice a bit strangled. It was ridiculous, but as alone as she'd felt lately in a sea of people who were either indifferent or had no idea what to say, having just one person be so nice, especially a person Ana didn't even know, was refreshing and with an abundance of hormones not quite returned to the normal balance, she was near to tears. Taking her hand off of Dozer's back and trusting him not to give Sarai one of his hugs, she took the containers off her hands.
"Um, Jay's not here right now," she admitted, sounding sort of agitated over the matter. She glanced back into the living room, before shrugging off the mess it was becoming, "If you want to come in and wait for him or whatever you can." Her eyes dropped to the ground, admitting, "I have no idea when he's coming home," ashamed that she, his fiancé didn't even know where he was, only what he was doing and even then she wasn't sure if he was sitting in a bar or planning to bring the liquor home with him. Opening the door a little more and stepping back, Ana invited the girl in with an attempt at a smile. "Sorry it's a mess," she said quietly, hoping Sarai would not notice the opened bottle of wine on the coffee table that she'd been nursing for quite a while. Glancing back over her shoulder she noticed her dog bouncing along her hip, sniffing her, "And about my dog," she added with a smirk. The black and white Great Dane weighed more than Ana did, somewhere close to one hundred thirty pounds. He was a gentle giant, though, and would never intentionally hurt anyone, he just didn't always remember he wasn't a lap dog.
Walking into the kitchen, Ana glanced nervously at the piling of dishes in the sink, before shrugging. Setting the containers on the counter, she turned around, leaning back against the granite. "So are you in med school, too," Annie asked, wondering if she was older than she looked. She didn't seem much older than Ana herself. Turning around, Annie popped the top off one of the containers, finding a casserole that she knew Jason loved and supposed Sarai must have known as well. "I'm actually starving. Do you want any," she asked, hating to eat in front of her like that. Grabbing a fork and a colorful plate Ana dished out a rather small piece; even starving her appetite was scarcely there. Putting the plate in the microwave and setting it on the dinner plate setting, Ana wandered over to the fridge that though it was no longer covered in sonogram pictures, still had several pictures of Annie and Jason together as well as with their families and friends. Her eyes focusing on a picture of Jason really smiling, not just because of the camera, she realized how badly she missed him, everything about him. Shaking her head Ana opened the door and took out a diet coke, before glancing back at Sarai and offering her something to drink.
TAGGED sarai jordana montgomery
OUTFIT i won't give up that easily
WORD COUNT nine thirty-five, without tags. gahh. >.<
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