feeling your heart beating ;;

[Jason Irving]

The first few nights Jason had been in rehab had been absolute hell for the twenty three year old man. Being alone in a bed was a feeling that was rather foreign to him. Other than the one lonely night after Noah’s young life had been taken, Jason hadn’t had a bed to himself since the end of the summer. Not only that, but once he had managed to doze off, without the alcohol he had been slowly poisoning himself with, everything he had been avoiding in his conscious life came flooding into his sleeping mind. He had tossed and turned, fighting the images of his premature son and Ana’s tear streaked face out of his mind. The one he may not have been able to prevent, but he knew if he had tried harder, he wouldn’t have hurt Annie as much as he had. He was still filled with regret that instead of turning to her when she needed him the most, he had blocked her out of his heart and instead turned to alcohol to ease his pain. After coming close to wrecking his relationship with her for a second time and spending a little more than a month in a rehab center, he wasn’t about to touch another glass of whiskey ever again. And yes, he had said that previously, but after everything he had been through, he knew it was true. It simply wasn’t worth it.

On his ride home, his heart was pounding in his chest. He had talked to Ana on the phone quite a bit, at least during the second half of his stay. For the first few days when he had sunk into a pit of depression due to his withdrawal from his drug, he had simply turned it off and refused to talk to anyone outside of the center, but as the days went on, he craved to hear her voice. The harsh reality, at least in his mind as he drove home was that he simply didn’t know if she would be at his house when he got back. The phone meant nothing, nor did the bouquet of a dozen red roses he had sent her on Valentine’s day or the cute little letters he had gotten from her. And while he had spoke to her only a few days prior and told her he wouldn’t be leaving for about another two weeks, he still feared that she didn’t want him anymore and she would have moved out while he was gone. He had told himself he couldn’t blame her if she did leave, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to turn back to his drug of choice and without it he would feel as terrible as he did when he was really, really craving the liquor. He figured if the house was completely void of all of her possessions when he returned, he’d just sell the house and move out of Valkyrie. Where he would go, he had no idea, but it wouldn’t be the first time he had traveled with no idea where his final destination would be.

Pressing on the brake of his shiny, silver Mercedes to stop at a red light, he looked over to the McDonald’s parking lot beside him and saw a large van stop and drop a box off in the corner before speeding away. Curious, and a little suspicious, Jason quickly flipped on his turn signal and made a quick right on red, pulling into the parking lot with the realization the car behind him had done exactly the same thing. Stepping out, his heart practically stopped when he saw three absolutely adorable puppies in the box. Suddenly, the usually very calm, reserved young man was furious. How could people be so heartless? Reaching down to scoop one up, he saw a woman a little older than him climbing out of her car, a hand covering her mouth. “People disgust me,” he muttered to her, stroking the little black and white dog in his arms. “I can’t take all three and I don’t want them to go to a shelter…” Looking down at the puppies with a little sigh, he glanced back over at the woman when she said she might have a solution and went back to her car, talking to someone inside. As two adorable little girls, obviously twins, probably around seven years old climbed out of the car, Jason felt a little pang in his chest, unable to help but wonder what Noah would have looked like when he was their age. Putting the squirming puppy back down in the box, he smiled as the woman told them each to pick out a puppy, explaining to him that their elderly dog had passed away a few months ago and once they managed to move on, had begun begging their parents for another dog. A sad smile crossed his handsome face as one of the little blonde girls looked up at him after inspecting the last puppy in the box. “You aren’t going to take her to the pound, right?” she asked, her deep green eyes lighting up when he shook his head. “I won’t, I promise. What do you think we should name her?” he asked, unable to hold back a little laugh as she looked quite thoughtful for a moment before saying quite surely “Daisy. She looks like a Daisy,” before carrying her own little pup carefully back to the car.

After saying their goodbyes, Jason picked up the little cardboard box and set it on the floor of the passenger’s side, wondering what Ana would say when he arrived home before he was “scheduled” to and with a new addition to the household. Pulling into the driveway, the lack of her black car in the driveway seemed rather ominous, though he knew she always parked in the garage. It just seemed like it was warning him that she simply might not be there. Pulling up a bit, he knew there was a place where the cars couldn’t be seen from inside the house and he parked there, giving Daisy a little pet on the head as she looked up at him with sad puppy eyes when he went to get out of the car, promising her he’d be right back. Walking up to the front door, he stared at it for a moment, his heart feeling like it was about to jump out of his throat, before he pressed the doorbell, his heart sinking when he didn’t hear either one of the dogs scuffling about to discover who their visitor was. Reminding himself that they liked to spend the majority of their days outside, he waited for what felt like forever, his heart sinking a bit with every beat it took until he heard the dead bolt rotating a bit before popping and heard the door crack open. At the sight of his fiancée after not seeing her for weeks put a real smile on his face, something that hadn’t been seen before that fateful visit to the hospital. Another moment passed before he took a step forward and wrapped his strong arms around her tiny frame, his head resting on top of hers as he held her close. “I’m sorry,” he murmured as he held her against him, his dark eyes closing. “I’m so, so sorry.”

TAGGED ;; annie bailey
LENGTH ;; 1,231 words
OUTFIT ;; click
CAR ;; Mercedes Benz
DAISY ;; click!
NOTES ;; <3

[Anabel Bailey]

Anabel laughed as her black and white Great Dane shoved his big nose into her lap, drooling with the tennis ball gingerly in his mouth, the petite Aussie arriving moments later with an undeterred manner. Dash didn't have much of a chance against the now full grown Great Dane, but she always tried which Annie found endearing. Holding out her hand, the woman's nose wrinkled as the slimy yellow ball landed in her hand. If she had her choice Dash would catch the ball every time for that reason alone, not that Dozer could help it. Throwing the ball again she tossed it a bit closer hoping Dash could sprint and get there quicker, smiling as she finally caught the ball and this time returned with Dozer eagerly bouncing beside her. As the Aussie nudged the hand resting on Annie's knee with her cool, damp nose, Ana sighed, reaching down to stroke the dog's soft little head, and then patting the other dog as well to keep any jealousy out of the mix. The two of them had given her a sort of companionship she otherwise lacked, living alone in the big house. Though at first her dog had seemed leery of being allowed on the bed with her again, he'd fast remembered how much he loved to spoon, much bigger now than when Ana had moved back in with Jason and he'd still been a puppy. Ana didn't want to admit how many times she'd foolishly thought it was Jason with unusually bad breath magically home again. Knowing he had at least another two weeks as he had told her the other night on the phone made it even harder. Already, it felt like he'd been gone forever and she missed him quite awfully. Every time they talked she never wanted to end the call and so many of their conversations just faded to near nothingness save their breathing and honestly, Ana didn't mind. She missed him so terribly every call she tried to make the most of. She hadn't missed him quite this way when they'd been seperated before, after all she'd been jilted in one of the worst ways possible and had liked to tell herself that she hated him. Everything she had missed about him had instead rushed back when she saw him again a month and a half later. This, however, was different. They had been apart much longer and Annie had no disillusions about her feelings for him, regardless of what Jason's paranoid mind had decided was really behind her sweet voice on the phone. Instead she just genuinely longed to be with him again; not necessarily in the sexual way, though she wasn't going to turn that down, obviously, but just in general she wanted that closeness that she'd been denied for the past couple months. The feel of him near to her and the comfort that brought, the way he looked at her that was her gaze and hers alone, and the simple knowledge that he loved her in a way a person just couldn't feel over the phone. It was those things she yearned for.

Snapping from her dreary trance, Ana found herself gazing at two panting dogs waiting on her to throw the ball again. It had been Dozer's playful bark that had reminded her that she was sitting on the end of the chaise lounge on her patio in the bright California sunshine, though her sunglasses remained on top of her head. Tossing the ball again for them, Ana watched their two very different bodies race away from her, mesmerized in her still half-depressed mind. She scarcely heard a two-tone sound coming from inside the house and she glanced over, debating whether she even wanted to bother with whoever it was. It wasn't like people normally just dropped in around here. Getting up off the bright colorful cushion, Annie headed for the door, leaving the dogs behind so they wouldn't attack her guest as she stepped into the cool air-conditioned living room. The house looked a bit different in small ways from when her fiancé had up and left, mainly because of Annie's determination to come to grips with the child that had been taken from her. She'd spoken with her priest several times for consolance and to better understand the very same thing that Jason had been grappling with: why would God do such a thing? She had reluctantly joined a group of others dealing with the loss of a child. It had taken a while, but one Saturday she just did it; she opened the drawer containing all the sonogram pictures. Taking each one out she gazed at them, crying as was unavoidable, but then she'd taken them and put a few of her favorites in a frame and set the frame on a shelf with many of their other pictures, including silly ones they'd taken themselves on dates and the more professional ones that they'd had done shortly after they'd gotten engaged to go with their engagement announcement. It seemed fitting he go among the pictures of their life together, and more fitting that he belong alongside happy pictures, as that was how Ana was choosing to remember him; for the bits of happiness having his life inside of her had brought. More drastically, however, was the room that for some time had had its door locked and now had its white door thrust open, welcoming someone inside. Everything that they had bought for their son that hadn't been monogrammed she'd taken out bit by bit and donated to an organization to help single mothers. She hadn't really asked Jason before she'd done so, but she doubted he'd disagree with her decision to do such a thing. Everything would be out of style by the time they decided to start their family and this way his things would go to a good cause. The room was once more a guest room, fixed with different linens to match the baby blue paint.

Not even thinking to look through the glass at who was behind the door, Ana undid the lock, the metal rustling against the wooden doorjam before it undid and she pulled back the door. Her eyes fell where they would if she didn't bother to look up, on the person's chest, and her eyebrows furrowed a bit, wondering why that part of the visitor seemed familiar before she tilted her head up to look the person in the face. Her breath she'd started to take rushed into her lungs almost too fast and she wondered unsurely for a moment if she weren't in fact losing her mind. The thought didn't linger long though and her face lit up with a smile brighter than the sun in a way it hadn't since her world had flipped upside down that January. "Oh my God," were the only words she could manage as she stood there, completely shocked. He wasn't supposed to be here; not now, anyway, which made her wonder for a moment before she decided she really didn't care right now. Impulsively, her small body closed the distance completely as she jumped on him, her arms wrapping around his neck and her legs around his waist, pressing her small form against his. She squeezed him tightly for a moment, her face happily pressed against the side of his head, a familiar feeling she'd missed so terribly. "Jason," she breathed out before her eyes started to get misty and she shook her head, pulling back a bit to look at him with a laugh before she went back to smothering him for a moment longer.

Letting him go for a moment, she untangled her body and took a half step back, gazing up at him with a look of adoration and happiness, all rolled into one. She shook her head slightly as he sobered, pulling her to him and resting his head on top of hers, whispering apologies as her arms twined around him. Sniffling from the happy tears that had dried up for the moment, Annie shook her head, muttering a simple response, "Stop." Ana didn't care to think about that right now, she was just too happy and too relieved. And of course, in her overly forgiving nature when it came to him, she had long moved past her anger over the alcoholism and the distance he'd allowed to form between them. She was just relieved he'd gotten the help he needed and at least she hoped things would be normal once more at least for a time. If the past year had taught Ana anything it was that she could never count on much of anything staying the same. Pulling back when he let her go she smiled slightly at him, an eyebrow raising as she eyed his haircut but choosing not to ask. She just silently hoped he intended on growing it back out, though she figured she'd get used to it. She stood there for a moment, doing nothing but just taking him in, wrapping her arms around his waist again for just a second before looking over her shoulder into the house behind her. "Ready to go inside," she asked curiously.

length :: fifteen forty
outfit :: here
notes :: loooove.

[Jason Irving]

Just taking in the sight of her small frame was enough to make him smile after not seeing her for what felt like forever. The time away from her had given him more than enough time to think about everything and if he really was doing what was right, at least when it came to going back to her. He knew that she wouldn’t have brought up the idea of shipping him off to rehab unless she thought he really needed it and when he had been there, it sunk in just how lucky he was to still be alive. There were nights that he knew he had had a dangerous amount of alcohol but it hadn’t really hit him just how close he had come to killing himself. And of all the other thoughts that had taken their time, swirling around his mind, there was one that had clung on, asking him if she would really want to be with him again after everything they had gone through and what all he had put her through with his drinking or even if she did want to be with him, if it would be smarter for him to pack his bags and leave for good so she could find a reliable man.

All of those thoughts were dashed from his mind as she threw her arms around his neck, her legs wrapping around his waist. He squeezed her tightly for a moment before he realized he might be holding her a bit too tightly and he loosened his grip a bit, his face pressed against her neck. There had been times when he had been away when he thought he had caught a whiff of her perfume or her hair products, but it had been nothing more than his memory taunting him. Now, though, it was like everything came flooding back to him. Giving a little sigh, he let her climb down from where she had been wrapped around him before he took a step towards her, apologizing over and over again for what he had done to them. A small smile crossed his face when she told him to stop and he gave a little shrug. “It’s just… I was stupid,”

[/color] he muttered before dropping the subject, not wanting her to get annoyed with him when he had just arrived back home.

Pausing for a moment, Jason shook his head at her question before turning around and walking over to the car, motioning Ana to follow him. He couldn’t leave the little puppy in the car any longer; he was sure she wasn’t enjoying it. Reaching the silver Mercedes, Jason opened the passenger’s door and reached down to the little box where the tiny puppy was searching for a way out and scooped her up. Turning to Ana, he opened his mouth to explain, sounding like a little kid as he explained what had happened very quickly. “Somebody left her and two others in the box at a McDonald’s parking lot and I saw them drop off the box and I was curious so I went to go see what they had left and another car followed me in and she had two little girls and they each took one of the other puppies so I said I’d take her home because none of us wanted any of them to go to the shelter and one of the girls said she looked like a Daisy so, well…this is Daisy,” he said, finally slowing down towards the end. “We have to keep her…pleeeease,[/color] he begged, once again sounding more like a five year old than a twenty three year old man, but that was just the way he was at times, it wasn’t meant to be any sort of immaturity.

Carrying the tiny black and white dog into the house, he tilted his head to the side a bit. “Dozer won’t think she’s a new chew toy, will he?” he asked since the Great Dane was much, much larger than the tiny puppy. He knew Dash well enough to know she would know that the puppy was a puppy and not some sort of movable chew toy and though he was quite fond of Annie’s large dog, he still wasn’t quite sure where the dog’s brain was sometimes. Stepping through the front door, he looked around at his house, loving the familiarity of it. It still felt like home to him, not just like an empty house as he feared it would be. Glancing over to where a few of their pictures were situated, he noticed a few new frames and he studied them for a moment longer before realizing what they were, a pang shooting through his heart. He hadn’t noticed he had froze when he saw the pictures, the only thing bringing him out of the minor shock was the little dog’s tongue lapping against his cheek. Giving a slight shake of his head, he brought himself back to reality before walking to the back door to let Daisy out and meet the other two dogs. Laughing a bit as the two full grown dogs ran up to him, their tails wagging furiously, he crouched down to show them Daisy. “Alright guys, this is Daisy. She is not a chew toy, understand?” he said firmly before setting the pup down on the ground and letting them get to know each other, keeping a close eye on them for a moment before turning back to Ana, a hand running through his shorter hair. He wasn’t sure why, but he had felt the need to change something other than his drinking habits while he was away and his hair seemed like the easiest thing to change. It made him a bit self conscious at times as the scar along the left side of his forehead from the car wreck he had been in was visible, but he did his best not to pay it any mind. Turning back for a moment to make sure the three dogs were behaving themselves, he took a step towards his fiancée and wrapped his arms around her waist before letting his lips meet hers for the first time in weeks.

TAGGED ;; annie bailey
LENGTH ;; 1,036 words
OUTFIT ;; click
DAISY ;; click!
NOTES ;; sorry that took me a month and it's totally craptastic =/

[/blockquote][/blockquote][/font]

[Anabel Bailey]

A grunt escaped her at the tightness of his embrace, and it was somewhat of a relief when he loosened it a bit, and yet she didn't really care, not as much as she normally would. It just felt so good to be with him again. As he apologized she stopped him, not wanting to think about it now. Her shoulders shrugged at his response, pulling back a bit, mumbling a simple, "It's ok. Just don't do this again." Ana knew she couldn't be cross at him and maintain a good relationship with her fiancé, nor was she really capable of staying that mad at him anyway. It just wasn't natural for her where he was concerned. So long as he was done drinking she was fine, but if he ever messed up again... Ana would just have to figure it out if that happened. She wasn't going to give him an ultimatum, not with their wedding in a couple of months, but she genuinely didn't know what she would do if he failed her in that way again.

One fair blond eyebrow, not quite as well plucked as when she was trying to look good for him, rose when he turned to head to his car. Couldn't they get his luggage later? She shrugged when he motioned her to come with him with his hand, stepping out of the little entryway's shade into the warm sunshine. Stopping a step from the car, she planted her hands on her hips, waiting curiously to see what he was getting out of the passenger seat of all places, expecting perhaps a cheesy gift, something trifling like a teddy bear. As he turned, before she could really tell what small thing he was holding, she thought it was indeed a stuffed panda and started to roll her eyes before she caught the word "her" and took a second look, this time realizing what it was as he kept talking. She nodded a bit, taking it all in, before looking up at his face, then back down at the puppy he called Daisy. Holding out a hand for the black and white puppy, she didn't need another due to her small size, Ana scooped her up and held her to her chest, gazing at the puppy's small nervous face, before beginning to nod, smiling slightly. "Yeah," she relented overdramatically, handing Daisy back to him carefully. As they started to walk inside together, Ana slid her arm around his trim waist, poking him in the side teasingly as she gazed at the puppy, "You're too irresistible sometimes, you know." Taking her arm away to step into the house first, she glanced over her shoulder with a different sort of teasing gaze, "It's just good you like getting up at two a.m. and cleaning up after her." Ana had been there and done that with Dozer, who would stand beside her on the bed and howl as a puppy. Not that she wouldn't help; she just had to get that in.

She laughed when he asked if Dozer would be confused over the tiny puppy. "Well she doesn't look like a shoe or smell like beef, so I'm guessing we're good," she responded with a grin, knowing regardless of Jason's doubts Dozer was just as smart as Dash, minus the ability to comprehend his size. Heading through the living room to the back door where she had left their other dogs, Ana halted steps from the door when she realized he was no longer beside her. Turning to see what had stopped him she followed his gaze to the picture frames, her lips twitching and her arms beginning to cross over her stomach, a behavior she would probably carry on for a while yet. "We can take them down if you're not ready; I just needed them for me," she said carefully. "I, uh, redid his room, too; gave everything to charity. I didn't figure you would mind," she told him quietly, figuring he might like to know before he went to that part of the house for some reason and hoping he wouldn't be angry with her. Luckily, the area was seperated off, so they didn't really have to be back there, but even just knowing it was no longer set up for a baby she worried might bother him, too much change, too soon.

Walking out onto the bricks of the back porch Annie whistled to get the dogs' attention before Jason stepped outside. It brought a smile to her face to see how happy the dogs were to see him. Dozer had, Ana guessed, missed Jason to some extent, but his bond was with Annie. Dash on the other hand had no doubt missed his presence quite a bit. She had moped around the house for days when she realized he was gone, not eating right along with Annie. It had been downright pitiful, though the little dog had slowly accepted the change and resolved that like her last owners had done, she'd been left. His instructions to them about the puppy gave her a laugh as she watched him set the puppy down for them to see. She watched Dozer with a hawk's gaze, just to make sure her fiancé wasn't right, but was satisfied when he merely sniffed her and barked. Watching Dash and Dozer's antics with the puppy, bubbly laughter kept escaping her before Jason stepped over to her. Sobering with a little smile on her lips, she leaned into him a bit as he put his arms around her, the feel so very rewarding. As his lips met hers she was no doubt smiling, even as she pushed down a pleased little sound of pleasure, one hand on his stomach, the other in his now strangely short hair. Pulling her lips back once she was satisfied, at least for a few seconds, she attempted to twirl her finger around one of his now missing curls. "Miss me," she asked in her usual teasing voice, gazing at him with a toothy grin.

length :: ten twelve.
outfit :: here
notes :: mbleh.

[Jason Irving]

If Jason was to be completely honest, he was terrified that he would screw up again. His fear of cheating on her again and his fear of addiction had sort of wrapped around each other because he knew if one happened, there was a strong chance the other would come in time. If some female managed to seduce him into being unfaithful to his fiancée, he knew the moment he woke up beside the other woman, he would be leaving to find the nearest bar or the cheapest bottle of whiskey because he knew if that happened again, their relationship would be over. He had been shocked that she had been willing to give him a second chance after everything was all said and done, and there were times he still didn’t quite understand, he felt like it was just something he didn’t deserve. If the young man became addicted to alcohol again, he knew it would be easier for him to make a mistake that might kill his marriage as he was a much, well, friendlier person when he was drinking if it wasn’t because he was hurting. Whatever the reason, if one happened, he was afraid that the other would be there, lurking in the shadows until the right moment and when it struck, he knew that they’d create a never ending circle that could very possibly kill him in the end.

A smile pulled at the corners of Jason’s mouth as he heard Ana’s overdramatic voice and, after taking the tiny dog back as she offered her to him, leaned in and kissed her cheek. A warm laugh escaped the handsome man as she called him irresistible and he took a longer stride to move right beside her, smiling as she slid her arm around him, his lips brushing against her ear. “Oh, am I?” he breathed slowly, teasing her right back. “Maybe I’ll have to see just how irresistible I am.” As she stepped in the house before him, a different sort of look on her face, he stopped to think for a moment, the thought of actually training the puppy never really crossing his mind in his decision to rescue the tiny thing. Giving a little shrug, he gave Annie a small smile. “Eh, it’s not like I have anything better to do. I don’t have classes again until the spring semester.” While he had been in rehab, he had decided it would be easiest if he just dropped his classes for the semester, hoping he’d be able to pick up where he had left off come the next semester and, with a little talking to the school, he had made it work out alright. It meant he was going to be in school longer than he had planned, but he was okay with it as he was no longer killing himself slowly and he had his fiancée. Oh, he knew the choices he had made would cause some major problems later in his life, but for now he was content with stopping where he had been as there was no way to erase the mistakes he had made.

Jason nodded his head slowly, not really thinking about the dog’s sense of smell when he had asked. For a smart guy, he often missed the obvious. Pausing as he saw the newly framed photos, his mind just sort of stopped, not quite sure how to handle the pain that was hurled at him. He knew it would come eventually, as he had handled the initial pain in one of the worst ways possible, he just hadn’t expected it so soon. It took a moment for Annie’s words to register in his mind and he brought himself out of his trance, a small smile crossing his face. “No, they’re fine, I just…wasn’t expecting it, I guess,” he said, shrugging a bit before taking a few long strides to meet up with her by the door, ready to introduce the new puppy to the two dogs outside as he tried to repress the memory of the pain he had felt when they had found out they had lost their son. Watching Dash and Dozer come running up, he laughed a little bit, remembering that they hadn’t seen him for a while. Dash’s whole body seemed to move as she wagged her shaggy tail, her long pink tongue attacking his face. Setting the little puppy down and instructing the dogs to behave themselves, he took a step back to observe them both, ready to jump in if he had to, but they seemed to get along rather well, Dozer simply barking at the puppy and Dash sniffing at her before she began to lick the tiny black and white thing in a motherly way. Once he was sure that the three would get along, he turned to his fiancée, finally letting his lips press against hers. He hadn’t realized just how much he had missed that feeling. His fingers had begun to slip under the hem of her shirt when she pulled her lips away from his and a disappointed look flickered across his face for a half of a second until he heard her teasing question and a little smirk crossed his lips instead. “More than you could ever imagine,” he said with a grin, sliding the door shut behind them, leaving the three dogs outside. Placing his hands on her hips, he pulled her close to him before he picked her up honeymoon style and carried her over to their couch. He felt rather shallow as he sat her on the large, squishy leather sofa, but he was, after all, a male and he hadn’t seen the woman he was completely in love with for weeks. Pulling her into his lap, he pressed his lips to hers again as his hands slid around to her back, his hands sliding up beneath her shirt. Parting his lips, he let his tongue slip out to meet hers. Even if this went no farther than where it was now, he was completely content to just hold her close to him and kiss her.

TAGGED ;; annie bailey
LENGTH ;; 1,024 words
OUTFIT ;; click
NOTES ;; fiiinnnaaallllllyyyy.

[/font]

[Anabel Bailey]

Ana rolled her eyes as he leaned in to kiss her cheek over the puppy. "I'm such a push over," she mumbled to herself, shaking her head as he shut the door to the convertible. She truly was when it came to him, to the point it was a fault, in all honesty. No, Ana didn't say yes to everything, she had her limits. She'd fought him when he wanted to quit school and get a job to have money for their baby. Looking back and then at their current situation, Ana wondered what the point had been considering the irony of him dropping out of school for a semester anyway. She resented that on some level since it changed her plans for their life. She suspected he'd end up going back for the summer semester to make it up, or at least she hoped so, even if that meant not getting to take an unusually long extended honeymoon after they got back from Spain. She had been looking forward to the weeks of sleeping in, splashing around in the pool, having sex whenever they wanted, maybe taking a road trip one week, but otherwise doing nothing but enjoying each other. Basically, everything they'd intended to do last summer before it had slipped right through their fingers. It saddened her to think he would probably go on back since there would be no more summers after this to just enjoy; she would graduate next spring and then she would need to go on and find a job, not so much because of the money as how it would look on job applications had she been out of work for an extended period of time. Their honeymoon would just have to suffice.

Taking in the teasing look that crossed his face when she called him irresistable, Ana smirked a bit, finding it a bit funny how easily he was slipping back into their usual almost constant flirting. "Well," she intoned, her voice on the edge of one of her characteristic purrs but not quite there, "I've never been much for playing hard to get." There was quite a bit of truth to the statement, though Anabel hadn't meant it that way. Walking back into the house that for the first time in months actually felt like a home again, Ana stopped a bit suddenly at his response to the joke about the puppy. Turning to face him, wide-eyed, she shook her head, "Why?" While she didn't want to give up her summer, she also didn't want to see him blow off almost an entire year of school. Since they had agreed to not think about kids again until he was done with school and then just see how stretched he was with his residency that meant at least another four years, possibly even seven if his residency took up too much time for him to be a dad to their kids. The thought didn't make her happy and she frowned, glancing away, her arms crossing over her chest, clearly glowering. She wasn't in the mood to fight so she bit her tongue, but she had every intention of bringing it up later when he was... more willing to listen, as Ana liked to call their pillow talk.

Dropping the frown nearly as soon as it had appeared, she joked about her air headed dog. She stopped again when she sensed he had fallen back behind her, quietly half-apologizing for the fuzzy images of Noah, one of her hands subconciously rubbing the spot on her arm where beneath her cashmere cardigan she had broken her ban on the heart with Jason's initial being her last tattoo. One night though, coming out of one of the classes she'd been going to for a few weeks after he'd left, she'd been coming up on the shop that had done most of her others and found herself pulling into the alleyway and parking, not entirely sure what she was doing, just kind of doing it. She heard herself say to an old friend, boyfriend, actually, that she wanted him to ink her with Noah James, but it wasn't real until it was done. She didn't want to mourn Noah forever, but she never wanted to forget him, hence the reason for the tattoo. Glancing at Jason as he told her the pictures were fine, she smiled a bit, wondering what he'd think of her newest tattoo, but supposing she'd wait until he noticed it.

Relishing the feel of his lips on hers, she smiled behind her kisses. She had missed him for a lot of reasons and his kisses were one of them. Ana's toothy smile grew into a big grin at his response to her teasing little inquiry, laughing a bit as she kissed him again. She let him guide her inside the house, a little saddened when his hands slipped from beneath her tank to rest on her hips and draw her closer. It shocked her into laughter when he swept her up like she were a princess, depositing her seconds later on the couch. Annie wasn't surprised by his warm greeting, really. She would be surprised if he weren't all over her, hence why she welcomed his kisses, allowed him to enjoy himself. She slid easily into his lap as she had many times before, running her hands up under his shirt, though not rising above his navel. It had been so weird these few times they had been seperated going from having a rather active sex life to none at all, though it was always good to get it back, not that she was ready at the moment to crawl back between the sheets with him. Like him she had her own needs, they were just quite different from his.

Pulling herself back slightly from his kisses, clearly not too happily by the slow withdrawl of her mouth from his, she sat back smiling slightly as she gazed at him, taking in the features of his face that she had missed. Her mental image of him, even the photos that were scattered about the house just didn't compare to having him with her. "I take it you haven't seen anything this hot in a while," she asked with a little laugh, flattering herself in classic Annie fashion. Her fingers stroking the skin of his stomach as her palms pressed into the muscle, she grinned with a slight chuckle at his response. Her head tipped to the side with an affectionate look in her eyes, her pony tail swishing behind her, "You know I have laughed less in the past two months than in the past half hour I've been with you." Leaning in she kissed his cheek, her hands running higher up his stomach then back down over his sides, one hand running over his scars as she spoke the reason she'd stopped her kisses, "I've missed talking to you." She shook her head with a smile, drawing her hands from beneath his wife beater and imbedding them instead in his hair. Brushing her fingers through the chopped off curls, she cocked her head, her nose crinkling a bit as she played with it before asking, "So what's up with the hair?"

length :: eleven seventy-two plus. added on and i'm not recounting.
outfit :: here
notes :: take it where you fancy since we gotta draw it out.

[Jason Irving]

Jason’s dark eyes glittered a bit, a slight spark of his oh so frequent lust for his fiancée shining as he almost heard her characteristic purr. Leaning his dark head closer to hers, he paused when his lips were barely an inch from hers, his own curving up into a teasing smile. “No, no you haven’t,” he agreed before finally pressing his lips to hers for a brief second. Pulling away, he had a huge smile on his face. He had been away from her for far too long and he had been scared that she would have been long gone by the time he arrived home. Oh, it may have been irrational to fear that, looking back, but he had it none the less. Hell, he still feared she may realize she was making a huge mistake staying with him. Tilting his head a bit to the side as she asked him why, he shrugged. “There’s no sense going back this semester. I’ve missed too many classes, I’d be so far behind, I’d go crazy trying to catch up.” He sighed a little bit as he watched her small arms fold over her chest and he walked up behind her, gently pulling her arms out of her mini-pout and turning her to face him. “Trust me, honey, I’ve got it figured out. It’s not going to ruin any of our plans,” he promised, sincerity showing in his dark eyes as he locked them on hers. Leaning towards her, he gave her a little kiss, one that was much sweeter than the previous needy one he had given her. He knew she didn’t want to wait forever for kids. Neither did he, for that matter. Nor did they want to take away from their, uh, alone time they were going to have. No, he was going to work his ass off so none of that happened.

As he caught the images of the unborn son, he promised Ana that he was fine. She was smart. It was definitely a different way of dealing with her pain, and a much better way than how he chose to deal with it. He knew that next time she was pregnant, first of all it would be when they were ready. He knew it had really torn her apart when she found out at first. Much, much more than it had bothered him. He had known it would be tough, but he realized that she was going to have to go through so much more than he was and once he realized why she wasn’t as thrilled as he was, he had felt guilty. And second of all, everything was going to go right. He was going to make sure of it. His family had the money to pay for a specialist, something he hadn’t even considered until one of his co-workers brought it up shortly after Noah’s death, and once she brought it up, he realized it would make both of them feel so much better if somebody was there every step of the way, and if something happened, it would be caught early enough that if anything was able to be done, it could and would be done. Turning to give her a little smile, he caught her rubbing part of her arm and he gave her a curious little look as he thought he saw something beneath her fingers and gently took her hand away, a little smile crossing his face when he saw her new tattoo. He never had been the type to really want a tattoo, but he couldn’t say he disapproved of her newest one.

He had noticed how her hands hadn’t slid up very far underneath of his shirt and a slow sigh slipped from him, though he supposed he understood. He had been gone for quite a while and while he couldn’t help himself - as he was a male - he did get why jumping right back into an active sex life might not be the best idea for the two of them, no matter how badly he wanted to pull her shirt off and kiss every inch of her perfect skin. Feeling her lips pull away from his slowly, he sighed once again, though he could tell by how slowly her lips moved away from his she was no happier about it than he was. Looking at the sight of her, sitting on his lap, gazing at him, made him smile as his eyes slid all over her body and he fought back his brain’s idea to undress her mentally. Every curve of her body was looking at a long lost piece of art. God how he had missed her. He laughed at her self-flattering comment, his hands slipping up underneath of her shirt again, a little bit farther than before. “I haven’t seen anything that hot since…well, the last time I saw you,” he said, giving her one of his all-too-innocent smiles. He fought back a groan as she stroked his stomach, doing his best to not let himself become too aroused. He had definitely been away far, far too long.

Jason immediately felt guilty as her affectionate gaze met his eyes and she spoke about her lack of laughter. That was his own fault. “I’m so sorry. I should have never had to leave…” he murmured, his dark eyes casting away from hers for a moment. Oh, he had gotten over his alcohol addiction however he still had another problem - he was always way too hard on himself. The guilt mostly washed away as she kissed his cheek, a warm smile crossing his face. A soft hmpf slipped from him as his shirt caught on her wrists as her hands slid higher before shifting around to his sides. She had some sort of curse on him, he swore by it. Even as her fingers brushed over his scars from his life-saving surgery he had been forced to go through, he didn’t cringe away as he once had. All he did was crave her touch even more. It took every fiber in his body to fight back his urge to roll over on top of her and start kissing her all over again. He felt guilty once again when she said she missed talking to him, biting the inside of his bottom lip a little bit. He could have called more. However, it all came back to his fear that if he called the house she wouldn’t answer and his mind would chase itself in circles. She wasn’t home. No, she had left. No, she wouldn’t do that, she just wasn’t home and so on and so forth. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, apologizing again. “I’ve missed everything about you. You look…amazing,” he murmured, leaning in to kiss her again. Pulling away, his hands slid out from underneath of her shirt and he gave her a lopsided grin that faded a bit as she placed her hands in his short hair. At her question, he gave a little shrug. “I needed a change,” he explained slightly gruffly. “After I got it cut off I realized that you would probably hate it. I mean, I’m not crazy about it, but still. I just needed some sort of change.” He had caught her crinkling up her adorable nose and knew that his assumption about her hating it had been pretty much right.

Biting the inside of his lip again, he couldn’t help himself anymore. Leaning forward, he kissed her again, his fingers once again finding their way underneath of her top. He wanted to just keep kissing her forever. He wouldn’t say no if it ended up going farther than just a kiss, however he wasn’t sure if that was the best thing to do. Pulling away from her for a second, he chuckled a bit. “Sweetheart…” he gave a little shake of his head. “Just let me kiss you.” Pulling her in towards him again, he pressed his lips on hers again, letting his own part and his tongue gently touch hers, begging to taste her again. Doing his best to ignore everything he wanted to do to her, he focused on the feel of her tongue gliding against his own, keeping his fingers off of her bare flesh simply to keep his own desires under control.

TAGGED ;; annie bailey
LENGTH ;; 1,393 words
OUTFIT ;; click
NOTES ;; sorry. i'm failing at this =/ and sorry it didn't go too far.

[/font]

[Anabel Bailey]

The young woman glowered at her fiancé as he talked about not going back, clearly not happy with his decision. "Well, that's not quite what I was suggesting," Ana muttered, knowing such a thing would not be possible even if he wanted to. Her eyes tracked him as he moved behind her and relentingly let him rearrange her. "How is it not," she asked in a whiney voice, having to gaze a good way up to see him being barefoot. Glancing away, she shrugged, "I really want kids now," she admitted, the now referring to her recent pregnancy, not wanting a kid right then and there. "Waiting an extra year... well, it'll be tough," she said honestly, her eyes misty at the thoughts of her lost son and what could have been, despite the hardship. She looked back into his eyes which were locked on her, letting go of the breath she had been holding in when he leaned in to kiss her. "Just think about it," she whispered, smirking just slightly with an all-knowing look, having been able to guess one of the reasons for his decision to take so much time off, "We'll have a nice long vacation in Spain either way." She considered herself good in bed, she'd just never thought she was put-off-school worthy.

If she were honest, Ana very much wanted to jump right back into things, but a part of her was at least initially holding her back. Even as she sat straddling his lap, stroking his stomach and letting her tongue toy with his, she didn't feel connected with him, not like she usually did and without that she could let herself move no further. Not with him, anyway. Sex was not love in her world, except when it came to him. He didn't feel like her best friend, even though she still knew she loved him. It was a difficult thing to pinpoint, she just knew she couldn't. Pulling away from him, even as she continued to pretty much feel him up because there was still that side of her that couldn't help itself. Her blue eyes travelled from her hands up to his face, laughing just slightly when she saw the way he was checking her out with a smile. It was easy to see he at least wanted to mentally undress her, if he hadn't already. Pulling her hands away she shrugged her sweater off and set it to the side, leaving her in nothing but her way too tight tank top. "Better," she asked with a vixenish look, before quipping about her appearance. Honestly, she still was not ok with how she looked since her pregnancy so it was nice to be hit on.

Ana took his self-depreciating comment with a grain of salt, kissing his cheek. "It was about time we did something," she said with a shrug, hoping his time there had made a permanent difference. Giving into herself, Ana's hands ran up his torso again, loving his response. She let out a sigh as she took her hands away to play with his hair and he commented on having missed her as well, pausing and dropping her hands down to his hips. Her eyes looked away, even as he gave her a brief kiss, not really reacting to it. "Eh, I'm fat now. And back to being a C-cup. So not really," she told him, devaluing herself in a way that wasn't typical of her. Being pregnant had changed all that though and she couldn't help but dislike what she looked like now. The ten extra pounds that lingered bothered her to no end. To some that was not a whole lot, but Ana had always been small, at times under a hundred pounds; to her it was a very big deal indeed.

She had to laugh slightly when Jason said he knew she'd hate it and she nodded, letting him finish before admitting to it. "Well, I do, but as long as it's grown out by May I guess I'll forgive you." Dropping her hands down to his shoulders, she disappeared into thought for a few seconds before she snapped back awake, her hands patting him once with excitement and to draw his attention back to her. "Speaking of which, do you think May 17th is an anniversary you can manage to not forget for the next few decades? Because I couldn't get our original date back, but I did manage to get that one and to switch our plane tickets," she explained. The thought of their wedding as usual brought a huge smile to her face. Giggling coyly she let him in on a secret she hadn't previously admitted to him, "I've been doing a lot of wedding planning, actually." She glanced off toward their room, thinking of the dress she'd need to move before he could go in the closet, "I finally got a dress, too. It's not black, it was too late to get it dyed, but I think you'll like it." Her mother and bridesmaids had approved, as had his mother when she'd sent her a picture after having tried it on and fallen in love. "The whole thing's set, we just have to say, 'I do,'" she told him with a grin, pecking him on the lips.

It was more than clear, between sitting in his lap and observing the way as soon as their chatter about their wedding was done he was completely distracted, that his mind was already in their bed. Letting out a somewhat amused sigh she rolled her eyes, "Go ahead," she relented, knowing what he wanted. The longer she sat there talking to him, the more he seemed like her best friend again, and the easier it seemed to let herself be with him. She smiled as he accepted her invitation, her hands sliding from his shoulders to his neck, her fingertips playing with his short hair. She shivered as his fingers slipped beneath her tank top, opening her eyes with a confused look when he pulled back to say something, a warm look crossing her face at his words. She gently took his lower lip between her teeth, teasing him as she pulled back and let her teeth graze his lip. "Who says that's all I want to do," she asked him with a sultry look, not necessarily sure she wanted to do everything, but she saw no harm in fooling around. Toying with his tongue she ran her hands down his front, hooking her thumbs through his belt loops as she slid closer to him in his lap, pushing herself against him for just long enough to get a response. She smiled to herself behind her kisses; he'd clearly forgotten she played dirty.

length :: eleven thirty.
outfit :: here
notes :: annie, annie, annie.

[Jason Irving]

The young man bit his lip slightly at the unhappy look on Ana’s face. He should have known that waiting to go back was a stupid idea. He could have just thrown himself into classes and worked to catch up. The more he thought about it, the more he realized he should have been taking online classes while he was gone. “Alright, I’ll talk to the school and see if I can go back this semester,” he said slowly, churning it over in his mind. One way or another, they were going to lose more time together, whether it was now or later. And now, he’d be spending even more time studying than usual to catch up to everyone else in the classes. A surprised looked crossed his face when she said that she did want kids. He knew when she had previously found out she was pregnant, she had been less than thrilled with all of the changes her body had gone through. “Alright then,” he said, his mind clearly at work as he spoke. “Well then we don’t have to wait until I’m done with school. At least for one. I can make it work.” A little smile crossed his face as he said he could make it work. He knew it was going to be as harder than hell for him to be going to medical school and worry about his pregnant fiancée, or by that time, a pregnant wife and eventually it would go from worry about his wife to his wife and a newborn baby. He would be sleep deprived with school or with a new baby in the house, so how much worse could it be with both of them at the same time? Well, that wasn’t a question he was going to underestimate. And he knew he wouldn’t just throw the baby off on Ana when he was tired. It would take work, and a lot of it, but if she wanted kids now, he would do it for her. A little smile crossed his face when she mentioned the vacation in Spain, giving a little shake of his head as he chuckled. “Aren’t we in Spain for sightseeing?” he teased her, assuming that was only going to be part of their trip.

Jason nodded his head slowly when she said it was about time they did something, barely registering that she had kissed his cheek. He still hated the fact that he had allowed himself to become addicted to something terrible enough that it had really effected their relationship in a negative way. However, he knew he would be refusing any alcohol from there on out, even after their wedding at the reception, on their honeymoon, and any other place where it would possibly be readily available. He was terrified to sink into that hole again, the one that felt so deep that there was no way to go but further down. The thoughts that made him hate himself a little bit slowly died down as he felt her fingers tracing over him again, unable to keep from being a man and letting her know how much he was enjoying it and just how much he had missed it. That only lasted a minute as Annie degraded herself and Jason shook his head, giving Ana a firm look. “Sweetheart, you are not fat.” He knew her well enough and many people would call her vain because she was so confident with herself. Letting out a little sigh, he wrapped his arms around her. “You’re beautiful, you know that.”

As she mentioned May, a little smile crossed his face, excitement sparking up in his eyes. He had been absolutely terrified that his screw up would have cost them so much and yet there she was, talking about the month they were looking at getting married in. Once that happened, she was his forever. Or so he hoped. He knew what her feelings about divorce were and, well, he thought that it should be very rare for a couple to get divorced, but he knew if he was stupid and started drinking again, it could be over in a heartbeat. A little chuckle escaped him and he let out a sarcastic sigh. “May 17th… now why would I need to remember that for the rest of my life? May 17th…” laughing, he leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Of course I can. I’m sorry about the original date. And thank you for switching the plane tickets.” He let his fingers intertwine with hers, a smile crossing his face as she admitted to doing a lot of planning. His eyebrows furrowed a bit and he sighed. “Are you sure we can’t get it dyed? I know you want to.” He had never heard of a black wedding dress before, but he knew it was just another cultural difference. And he didn’t even bother to ask if he was going to get to see it before their big day - he knew the answer would be a big no. “Honey, if all it took was saying ’I do’ I’d be saying it right now, ” he teased her, smiling as her lips met his.

He felt terrible when she said ‘go ahead’ feeling far, far too much like a man as he let his fingers trace up her sides. A smile crossed his handsome face as he pulled back, telling her he wasn’t necessarily going all the way right then and there. He chuckled as her teeth gently sunk into his lip, fighting back the lust he felt building up. She did something to him no other female could do, even the one he had called his first love. Giving a shake of his head, he sighed, knowing he had been sending mixed signals, but she was sending them, too. “Honey…” was all he got out before her tongue began to play with his again. A slight, masculine grunt slipped from him as she pulled herself closer, the lust that he had felt building slowly overpowering him. He let the kiss deepen for a moment, enjoying every moment of it. Letting out a little sigh, he pulled away, his hands on the very lowest part of her back. “Sweetie, I love you so much, but should we be rushing into this again?” he asked slowly, afraid to take things too fast and yet afraid to move to slow.

TAGGED ;; annie bailey
LENGTH ;; 1,076 words
OUTFIT ;; click
NOTES ;; finallyyyyyy.... =/

[/font]

[Anabel Bailey]

A sly smirk crossed Annie's face at his tease about their Honeymoon. "I'm sure I'll see plenty. How much of that will be of Mallorca is another matter altogether," she parleyed pertly back. To be honest, though, Ana really did want to see the island. Though her mother had grown up on the mainland in a provincial Castillian town, Ana would take what she could get. Maybe some day they could take a trip to see that part of Spain, but for now she'd be content just to be in the country she had heard so much about, the home of a culture she had partaken of for so long. Besides, this way Jason got his beaches, and Ana was certainly not objecting to the chance to lay out with a generous amount of sunscreen to coat her pasty complexion. The sun, sand, and sea sounded wonderful. Though they lived near the water, the beaches in California just weren't the same as where they were going. Perhaps more than the beaches, though, she really did want to see the island. She wanted to visit the cathedrals, see the old cities, stay out until the early morning living the life, visit the markets. Everything about it sounded wonderful, best of all getting to share it with Jason.

Turning the chat to the wedding to lighten the mood, Annie shrugged slightly when he asked her about the dress. "I made some calls. It would take too long to get a custom, and too long to dye it properly. It's not worth pushing everything back over," she explained, knowing he probably didn't understand all that was involved. Had she gotten a dress around Christmas it might have been possible, but in this time frame it was too much of a stretch. She wasn't going to have it done hastily and look terrible. At any rate, black gowns were not nearly as common even in Spain as they once had been. The tradition was really rather antiquated, anyway. She would be fine without it. Considering all the effort it had taken to get to this point, a black dress was really just a minor detail. She completely shared the sentiment he expressed before kissing her. She wanted her fairytale wedding, yes, but at the end of the day he was all that mattered.

When he pulled away from her, Ana would have to admit she was shocked, and it showed across her features. For the life of her, she had no idea what the man wanted. She let him speak, a few steps past ticked though she wasn't showing it, before drawing one leg over him and flopping onto the couch next to him. Clearing her throat she cast a cold gaze at him, though the rest of her features remained calm, "Well, clearly communication isn't our strong point anymore." Snatching her sweater off the couch she stalked into the kitchen, leaning back against the counter top and staring at the refrigerator, trying to think of a suiting dinner. She didn't keep a ton of food in the house as of late, usually getting something light on the way home or eating leftovers from a meal she'd made on a night she hadn't been completely lacking energy. Opening the door to the refrigerator her eyes landed on a bowl of covered pizza dough she had made yesterday before her mom had invited her out for mother daughter shopping time and their own personal version of comfort food: orange juliuses, food court Chinese, and a tube of cookie dough with a chick flick when they could shop no longer. Pulling the bowl out she set in on the counter while she got the over and pizza stone ready before returning and, with a clear aggravation in the motion, pulling her engagement ring off before tossing flour and then dough on a cutting board began to knead it, pressing and folding it harder than necessary, a few unbidden frustrated tears tracking down her cheeks before she sucked it back up and stupidly wiped them away with her flour covered hands, pressing her hands back into the dough. In that moment she was just really confused. From her eyes he had been begging her to give in and just let him have her, scarcely interested in anything else and when she'd finally given up and just decided to let him have what he wanted he had pushed her away. Annie didn't know what he wanted and frankly wasn't sure they could communicate any more, a serious problem with only two months until their wedding.

length :: seven sixty seven.
outfit :: here
notes :: come on, wedding! woo!