` inside i feel like screaming ,

[Reanne Halper]

I'M BRUISED AND SCARRED
save me from this broken heart
ALL MY LOVE WILL SLOWLY FADE
& F A L L A P A R T
• • • • •

Reanne’s thoughts were far away, approximately as far away as her dorm where she left her cell phone crammed into her sock drawer. As usual, she had gone running because she was upset, not to mention she had yet to participate in her daily jog. Her thoughts were wrapped around the voicemail she had received only half an hour earlier. ”Reese, baby, please call me back. I’m sorry we had a falling out, I wasn’t thinking straight. I’ve missed out on the past seventeen years of your life and I need to make up for it, we need to. I want you to leave that school and come home. I could help you figure out what to do with your father’s belongings… I miss and love you so much Reanne Blue Thomas, please call me back.” The young woman could feel the blood rushing to her face just as she thought about it. Her mother, Sarah Thomas, was the absolute most talented liar on the face of the earth, and perhaps the message would have been believable had she not over-done it completely. Why on earth would she suddenly be interested in her epileptic almost seventeen year old daughter whom she had no problem signing emancipation papers for just over six months ago? Or giving up just because she had a disease? The biggest mistake Sarah had made in leaving Reanne that message was mentioning Charlie, her deceased father, and his possessions. That was the biggest, most obvious way of proving she wasn’t sincere at all. Reanne had a lot of money in the bank from selling the ranch, not to mention all of her father’s savings, his trust fund, and all his belongings that were now in storage. She had inherited everything, and if she was actually under the care of her mother, mooting the emancipation, well then she’d be in possession of all those things. Sarah wanted the money. She was selfish. Reanne wasn’t stupid, so she had no trouble picking the lies from truths. It was as easy as identifying the weeds in a fields of beautiful roses. Reese expected it, and that wasn’t exactly the part that had her blood boiling. Thomas. That was what had her going. Her last name was Halper, not Thomas. Sarah was trying to hard, and if she ever thought Reanne would accept that last name, the one of Sarah’s new husband and new family, well then she was much more idiotic and stupid than Reanne ever took her for. The message had her shaken, so she left the dorm and changed into something easy to jog in, running out of the house and turning off her phone. Right. Like she was going to call that woman back. As far as Reese was concerned, Sarah was not her mother. She was never going to forgive her and she would hate her forever. It was quite possible that Reanne blamed Sarah for everything wrong in her life. What she especially despised about the two-faced woman was how she broke her father’s heart out of self-seeking desire. Charlie Halper was a good man, the best man Reanne ever knew, and yet he always had some sort of sadness underneath all his optimistic, lively behavior. He never got over his high school sweetheart, but he gave her up so he could keep Reese. It was one or the other. Reanne loved him more than anything, but she did feel guilty sometimes for taking away his happiness, however, she blamed that more on Sarah.

Her shoes hit the ground rhythmically: right, left, right, left, right… Her hair was done up in a messy bun right on the top of her head, curly strands falling out this way and that, bouncing up and down with the pattern of her trot. She hadn’t made much of an effort to look presentable. No make-up caked her pale skin, though she was flushed in the cheeks. Reanne wore a baggy, but not too large, sweatshirt from the University of Oklahoma and a pair of old jogging shorts. In reality, she looked pretty. She was the type of girl who could pull off a natural beauty, but she wasn’t drop dead gorgeous. The girl never turned heads or attracted attention. With all the lovely girls walking this way and that without sweat beading up on their forehead, there was no way she was going to catch any eyes. In all honesty, Reanne couldn’t have been happier about it. She hated being put on the spot or hearing crude, too loud comments about her appearance. Being put on the spot was something she could not handle at all, which was a major flaw considering she wanted to be a singer/songwriter one day. On occasion she would lock eyes with a pedestrian and quickly look at her feet before they could smile, nod, or say hello. Being out in public like this wasn’t something she was very good at, but most people didn’t try to have full on conversations with passing joggers, which was sweet relief for Reanne Halper. Even if she were the talkative time, which she is anything but, she had way too much on her mind to hold a decent conversation. Lord, how she hated her mother. The message kept rewinding and replaying in her head. Each time she heard the feigned affection dancing through her thoughts, Reese wanted to hit something. The violent feelings were surprising because Reanne was normally a peaceful, submissive, non-violent person. It was quite apparent that Sarah brought out the worst in her. She couldn’t seem to distract herself enough to calm down, because every time she redirected her thoughts in a different direction, she was always just reminded of the deleted voicemail on her phone and her heartbeat would quicken angrily all over again. She came to the conclusion that sometime very soon she was going to go get a new cellular device with a whole new number and everything. That way Sarah wouldn’t be able to have such an irritating affect on her anymore. She really could care less if she ever saw her mother again.

The pier was just in sight. Reanne had planned on finding something to eat there for dinner. She jogged steadily, trying to focus on her destination instead of the dumb event that was getting under her skin. Out of nowhere, a nude man ran down the pear towards her, passing her along with a couple officers running behind him. The girl’s jaw dropped and her eyes widened, and naturally her eyes followed the scene like everybody else around her. Now paying attention to where you’re going is not something very smart for a clumsy girl to do though. Her foot hooked around her other leg in some awkward, ridiculous way and Reanne suddenly found herself flying forward. Luckily for her, most eyes were glued on the crazy guy running around who was now being hand-cuffed by the police. He was laughing like an idiotic, but Reanne wasn’t paying any attention to him anymore. Her hands didn’t fly out in front of her fast enough to stop her fall, so instead they just projected her face. She slid a foot or so on the sidewalk, and when she stopped, she just laid there wondering what had happened. Everything had occurred so fast that she wasn’t even sure how she fell. Slowly, she rolled onto her back at sat up. Looking down at her legs, she saw that her left thigh was scraped and bleeding along with her knee. Her right knee had a gash in it and some scrapes down the front and side of her calf, ”Oh crap,” she muttered quietly. She looked at her hands and the tops of them also had a few scrapes on them from protecting her face. However, they were barely bleeding because the skin wasn’t punctured very much. Reanne groaned, not paying attention to the few eyes that had seen her fall. She sat there for a second, making sure she was okay and her limbs were fine. Sometimes extreme stress on her body like this could send her into a seizure, but she seemed fine. Thank God for medications. The young woman got up steadily and walked, flinched from the soreness already developing in her legs, and walked to an empty bench she saw somewhere down the pier. She sat down there and pulled the bottle of water out of her sweatshirt pocket. Untwisting the cap, she began to poor water down her legs, watching the blood run down to her sneakers. She was definitely doing laundry tonight. Hesitantly she looked behind her at the grey ocean water lapping over the sand. It looked marvelously appetizing to jump in after falling, but she dared not do it because she knew she’d regret it immediately. Instead she tried to clean out the scrapes, surprised by how deep they were in some places. It wasn’t that serious, not bad enough for stitches even, but it still hurt and the blood was freaking her out. Of course, it was just her luck.

• • • • •

TAG Graham (Ruby) <3
WORD COUNT 1,520 =P
STATUS Complete!
OUTFIT Sweatshirt ; Tank-top ;Shorts ; Shoes ;
SETTING The Pier, around 5:30 p.m., December 2007
CREDIT justlikefalling @ caution 2.0
LYRICS bruised & scarred , MAYDAY PARADE

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• • • • •

[Graham McCarthy]

GRAHAM BRYANT MCCARTHY
VALKYRIE, CALIFORNIA, THE PIER, LATE AFTERNOON, DEC 2007

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-----"graham sweetheart, do you want another burger?" graham looked back over his shoulder to raquelle as she stood beside her husband who was continuing to flip the last remaining hunks of meat that cooked on the grill. he gave her a small smile but shook his head no. "i'm good, thanks though." he pushed away from the table, grabbing the paper plate and crumpling it up. she walked over near the grill and through the plate away, giving raquelle a small hug. it was the only form of human contact graham had ever allowed. he just had a better bond with her. he trusted her. she was pretty much the only person he trusted and she acknowledged that. raquelle knew just how much it meant for graham to be comfortable enough to hug her after all the things he'd went through. he had only been with the mccarthy's for a year, but this was significant improvement compared to the adopted boy who'd walked through their front door a little over a year ago. the boy who wouldn't look up from the floor long enough for you to judge what color his eyes were. the boy who couldn't sleep in a bed for the first few months because he was used to the hard ground and would sleep on the floor. the boy who couldn't sleep for more than an hour or so because he'd been so used to living his life on guard. graham was a kid of the streets and that wasn't meant in just the ghetto, street smart kind of way. graham had actually lived on the streets. over time he'd gone from the northernmost states to valkyrie, california. it sounded like a short trip almost, considering it would only take a few hours flight to get from one place to another, but graham had walked it. he'd spent time in home after home, but eventually he'd made his way across numerous state borders until he'd been picked up for vagrant-ism in california. that's where it all came to an end, and graham couldn't be more grateful.

-----graham took a deep breath before he finally pulled away from raquelle and the family, stepping back until he felt comfortable again. "i think i'm gonna head out for a while." he said, turning toward the house. "want to take a car?" raquelle's question stopped him for a moment, making him turn back to answer her. "no i think i'll run." he gave a small smile before he disappeared into the house, leaving behind the smell of the outdoors and the grill. he didn't feel like changing so he walked right through the house to the front door. though he told raquelle he felt like running, graham mostly walked his way to the pier. he was so much more used to walking. it had been what had gotten him from place to place back when he'd had nothing and walking just let you enjoy the world around you. for a kid who'd spent his life surrounded by the outdoors, it was easy for him to enjoy. he hadn't become tainted with an appreciation for household goods. he didn't need coffee because he'd never had money to be frivolous on something as trivial as a starbucks frappicino. he hadn't watched television because you tended to draw attention if you watched through the windows of the store that had them on display. he didn't need cushy chairs or anything like that. his butt was used to hard, flat surfaces by now and that wasn't likely to change. there were a lot of things in life that people took for granted. hell, they took it all for granted. the only reason why graham didn't was because he'd never had those kind of personal possessions to be attached to to begin with. even as a toddler in his first foster home, he hadn't had a damn thing. graham had been a work horse at three years old so there was definitely no room for holding anything near and dear to his heart. if his foster parents every noticed him getting attached to anything, like a teddy bear or a blanket even, they got rid of it or gave it to one of the other foster kids. they had a way of screwing with your head that way.

-----he walked and wandered, not really caring about where he was going until he'd reached the beach. he then kicked off his shoes and walked some more. graham liked the beach, but he wasn't in love with it. the sound of the water was calming and the warmth of the sand was nice, but he didn't get that floating feeling when he looked at or thought about the ocean. it wasn't his one place of refuge. usually any place outside gave graham enough refuge. the sounds of the ocean slowly began to fade as the sound of the pier overhead took over. it sounded a little busier today than what graham would have liked but he found himself walking his way up there anyways. he slid his shoes back on before he walked across the wooden planks of the pier, looking around at the open shops and all that. a sudden squeal had him looking up, a very nude man running way too close to him, with a slew of police chasing him. well that was certainly something you didn't see every day. not that it was something graham ever needed to see in the first place. he was about to turn back and continue on with his leisurely walk when he saw a blond take a total nose dive onto the ground. ouch, that one had to hurt. his brow furrowed slightly and he walked off to the side and out of the way. she seemed to be alright as she heaved herself upright, but her legs were scratched to shreds. he turned away, it wasn't his place to get involved. he didn't know anyone here so why should he just walk over to some stranger and try to give her a hand? as he turned away from her, graham noticed that he'd parked himself in a little food shack and was turned right toward the napkin dispenser. "oh what the hell." he said allowed as he grabbed a huge chunk of napkins and walked in her direction.

-----he didn't say much as he walked over to where she'd found a place to sit. he just simply held out the napkins to her. "might help" he said simply, as if that was a good enough explanation for why he was really, and i mean really, going out of his way to help someone. it wasn't that he was a complete ass. graham just lacked all the right kind of social skills that would signify to her somehow that he wanted to help.

--------------------------------------------------------

status • finished
words • 1371
tagged • reanne !
clothes • here.
listening to • -- - --.
notes • --.

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[Reanne Halper]

I'M BRUISED AND SCARRED
save me from this broken heart
ALL MY LOVE WILL SLOWLY FADE
& F A L L A P A R T
• • • • •

Reese had never been the social butterfly her mother was when she was sixteen. She wasn’t even as outgoing as her father, who she thought she was plenty alike. I mean, how could she really compare? You must have been pretty social to sleep with somebody you didn’t know on homecoming night while not even being drunk. That was something Reanne Halper would never be capable of in a million years. She didn’t even know how to talk to friends like a normal person, so how was she ever going to ‘hook up?’ Her mother had always been the pretty prom queen type… Or at least the small-town definition of that type. She’d had every boy in a fifty-mile radius tripping at her heels and being chased away by her daddy’s shotgun. Charlie, her father, had always been pretty popular in his day too. He’d been the go-to guy, the one everybody liked because he was funny or charming or good-looking. Together, they were like a lighthouse in the fog, almost glowing with how much they stood out. Reanne had seen their high school pictures a few times since they had always been sweethearts, but she never looked at them much because of the resentment she had for that Saint Mary mother of hers. After Sarah ditched them both to follow her dreams though, Charlie changed. He was heartbroken, and the affects made him more reserved, less wild than he once was. Reanne had never inherited the natural ability to talk to random people on the spot. She’d never even gained much skill in the whole ‘making-friends’ chapter of her life. As far as she was concerned, she had three best friends, or had. One, was her dad. Two, was her guitar. And three, was her horse she’d had back in her hometown, but sold to a trustworthy neighbor because she couldn’t take it with her. So that left one, and frankly, it didn’t even talk, or whinny at the least, back to her in response. The only time it ever made some noise was when she herself plucked the strings herself. She really didn’t mind, and though sometimes she got lonely, she was that lonely that she would have a story book change in personality and go out and meet everybody she saw. That was probably the least likely scenario to ever occur. Every time it got to the point she even considered the possibility of going somewhere and being determined to make a new friends, she either had a doctor’s check-up, a seizure and had to be checked out, or another medication dosage she needed to be introduced to. After one of those things in the hospital, especially after the seizures, she’d had enough human contact for the next six months combined. Maybe she was some sort of alien. Not even a human, and maybe that’s why her mom never even wanted her, not even to give her a chance. She probably could tell right off the bat ’No way, not my kid. That thing is from a different planet. and nobody at all had believed her. But that was always the ridiculous way of thinking about it, the more comforting way, really. She knew she was Sarah and Charlie’s kid, and truthfully, she really didn’t want to think about how it happened. It probably wasn’t ever going to change. Reese would always be the shy girl who never was outgoing, or never changed anybody’s life. Sometimes it was a heartbreaking idea when she realized this, because how was she ever going to make it big in the music industry with her defective personality? Nobody would have the patience for her with everybody else in line behind her. The guitar would always only be her best friend in the confinements of her own room, never on a brightly lit stage in front of hundreds and hundreds of people.

When she completely biffed it onto the sidewalk, Reanne was praying in her head that nobody would notice or ask or speak at all. She wasn’t sure what she was praying to since she had no belief in God anymore. If she did, well the first thought she would have had probably might have been God definitely hates me. It seemed as though nobody noticed or even cared. A psychotic naked man running around through crowds of people was definitely a lot more entertaining than a clumsy teenage girl eating crap at the same time. She was a bit surprised though, and thankful. How could they all continue staring at him? He was nude. Maybe she was just too innocent to appreciate the thought, but to be honest, she thought it was kind of strange how they all couldn’t seem to get enough of the shocking incident. Personally, Reese was diverting her eyes, well occupied by the blood seeping down her legs. It looked bad disgusting. She could never be a doctor. The smell was driving her nuts with its metallicy tint. She could almost taste it in her mouth. It was a little nauseating, but she never really had a weak stomach, so the possibility of her throwing up was very, very, very slim. That, she was also very grateful for. Puking all over the shoes of some poor passer-by would have been humiliating, and would have involved her having to speak and apologize to them. Those were two things she wasn’t very fond of. Some people walked by and a kid or two pointed at her and the mother gave sympathetic looks but continued on their way. She was glad nobody offered to help, but she did kind of wish an elementary school nurse just happened to walk by in full costume with all her colorful band-aids on person. That would be really convenient, but Reanne was quite positive that was not going to happen. If it did, well then she might believe in God again, but it wasn’t. She was so positive that she would bet all the money in the world on it. She decided then to say a very quick little prayer, just for giggles, ya know? Dear God, I want band-aids. Love, Reanne. She made a face when she finished, but continued pouring water down her legs instead of even waiting for anything to come true. She was so involved in her own mind that when the words, ”Might help,” came, she nearly fell off the bench, clenching onto it with her fingers to avoid flailing to the ground again, only this time for a stupid reason.

Her eyes slowly shifted to the direction the voice had come from. A boy, maybe around her age, or maybe older… he looked kind of big, was holding out napkins to her with a very calm, or maybe it was listless, expression. Heh, she probably looked like a freak, almost toppling to the ground just because he’d spoken. It was definitely something of a Reanne-action though. She could feel her eyes practically bulging out of her face, and she kept her lips pursed together. For a few moments, she just stared at the napkins, not really sure what to do. After a decided moment of silence though, she tentatively took them, careful not to touch his hand in the process, ”Er…. R-r-right,” she stuttered a bit, talking so quietly she wasn’t really sure he was going to be able to hear her. She appreciated the assistance, she really did… but it would have been much easier if a… dog or something carried the napkins over in his mouth. Then she wouldn’t really have to talk back. She looked down at the bench she was sitting on. She had placed herself right smack-dab in the middle. Out of politeness, and really nothing more, she moved over to the left side, leaving the other end more open. Silently she began to dab her legs with the napkins. The water had done a better job than she thought, and the napkins were drying it up nicely, thought she’d had to pull a few pieces off her legs that were sticking and tearing because of the thick red substance she’d really rather not think about. For a second she wondered about the boy who had given her the napkins. He seemed familiar… maybe from school. Like she would have ever talked to him though. He couldn’t have been more than four or five inches taller than she was, but he definitely looked like he could kill somebody in a punch. That wasn’t something she was going to put herself in the direction of. If anything, she had probably been very skittish and dodged around him at any time he’d been walking towards her, and kept her distance had he been ahead of her. She couldn’t put a name to his face, and she wasn’t even sure she’d ever seen him before, but he really did look familiar.

After her legs were pretty much dried and the blood was no longer rushing out of her cuts in tiny little rivers down her legs, she bent them a little, biting her lip from the soreness that had taken shelter in her body. Over all, she seemed perfectly healthy and fine. But Lord, did she feel like crap already. Suddenly she just wanted to go to sleep. The thought of God popped into her head and she frowned to herself, Doesn’t count, not band-aids. Wrapped in her own little reverie, she suddenly remembered the kid who had aided her. She raised her eyebrows and felt the blood rushing to her face. While she was shy on a ridiculous level, she really wasn’t rude… though it did come off as being stuck-up sometimes, ”Um, t-thanks…. A… um, a lot.” She whispered quietly. It was probably very obvious in her face that she felt uncomfortable, but it was also very clear that she was being sincere, though her awkward words may have made it seem like she didn’t really care. She felt so weird, talking to this person. This boy. She tried, forcing her brain, to think of something else to say, something to make this all less strange. ”Uh,” she began, wondering why she was even bothering. She would probably say something stupid and irrelevant, ”This, uh, this bench is nice….” Definitely stupid and irrelevant. This was one of those moments where she just wanted to slap her hand to her forehead, faint, and wake up in her bed realizing it was all a dream. She refrained though and bit her lip, rolling her eyes and shaking her head at her ineptness in conversation. Name. Start with your name, she thought determinedly, ”I’m… R-Reanne,” she began, ”Halper. Reanne Halper.” she could feel the stutters wearing off, but she still felt awkward as hell. At least she’d gotten her name out there though. She twisted her hands together, trying to think of something to do. She remembered her shoes were all soggy from water and blood. In hindsight, she probably should have taken them off first. She bent over, avoiding looking at the boy, and untied her jogging shoes. She took them off, one by one, and then took off the socks. Her feet didn’t stink, so that was good. One good thing out of a million bad was alright, right?

• • • • •

TAG Graham (Ruby) <3
WORD COUNT 1,885
STATUS Complete!
OUTFIT Sweatshirt ; Tank-top ;Shorts ; Shoes ;
SETTING The Pier, around 5:30 p.m., December 2007
NOTES Awkward Silence..... o-o Haha!
MUSE MUSIC Hey Jude-The Beatles
CREDIT justlikefalling @ caution 2.0
LYRICS bruised & scarred , MAYDAY PARADE

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• • • • •

[Graham McCarthy]

GRAHAM BRYANT MCCARTHY
VALKYRIE, CALIFORNIA, THE PIER, LATE AFTERNOON, DEC 2007

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-----graham wasn't much for socializing. that much was a given considering he'd lived his life on the streets but even after being taken in by the mccarthy's graham hadn't really opened up to people. it wasn't like he embraced the life as easily as one would see in the movies. he didn't jump right into life because he'd gotten a new lease on it. no graham was still the quiet, awkward kind of kid. he looked like he could kill you and probably could if he was pushed to it, but he would never intentionally harm another person. it wasn't because he was such a kind-hearted soul. graham liked to think that he was, but mainly it was because he was never around a person long enough to incite any emotion other than a little bit of curiosity. graham was a good kid but only because he'd never had to be anything else. he was capable of being good, yes of course, and when given the option he would always choose the path of least resistence in which case would mean being decent to people and not trying to incite anything. but in reality graham knew very little about himself. was he a short tempered person? was he a meat and potatoes kind of guy? what kind of girl did he like? well that last one was completely up in the air. as far as relationship went, graham was as innocent as they come. he'd never even been kissed, never even on the cheek. never even the slightest kiss. graham was a foster kid and his foster families were like something out of your worst nightmare. needless to say there was never any kissing going around. he didn't have a mother who loved him so that had never happened either. raquelle was pretty much his mother now but even she gave him that kind of space. graham had never felt that kind of personal gesture from another human being...was that strange? definitely. did he care? not really. did it have an effect on who he was today? maybe.

-----graham didn't like to be touched, or at least not without some kind of warning or unless he made the effort. the only time he'd ever made the effort was with raquelle, and even that had taken almost a year to accomplish. he was screwed up, plain and simple. maybe he'd fit into a normal kind of mold when he'd been born, but whatever he'd been destined to be had been shot to hell when only an hour or so after he was born, his crackpot of a mother ditched him to score again. did she care that her stupid druggie ways had left holes in his heart that needed to be surgically patched up? did she care that he'd been born premature and had to be incubated? did she care at all that he'd been left without someone to tend for him and had been carted off to an orphanage? his mother was a sore subject for graham. he flat out hated the woman for what she'd done to him. never mind the fact that if she stuck around and taken him home that life would have been as equally bad. graham probably wouldn't have gotten fed, would have sat in his soiled diapers forever, would have been exposed to crack addicted men one after the other as his mother whored herself out for money for a score. there were a lot of bits of hell that graham had avoided when his mother left him for dead in that hospital. she'd left before she could give consent to have him rushed into surgery. she left before anyone could get her name, or the name of the premature baby she'd just given birth to. graham hadn't had a name for weeks up until the woman from the orphanage had come to take him home. she'd been the one to finally give him his name, graham. it was the only name he got. no last name, and he hadn't gotten a middle name until he'd been adopted by raquelle and she'd let him choose. to go about life with half a name. it wasn't something a lot of people would even think possible, but for graham it was.

-----his mother had probably done the best for him by abandoning him. hell she was probably dead now. graham kind of hoped that that was the case. of anything he'd ever wanted, knowing that his mother was dead was probably the top of his list. he didn't want to find her, because he didn't trust how he would feel if he found her, or found a grave. he just hoped that the bitch was dead.

-----he felt the paper napkins pulled from his grip and he let go, making just as little an attempt to touch her as she had with him, though neither knew that the other was doing just the same as them. he would have had to crane his neck if he'd actually cared about what she'd said, but he'd briefly heard a word or two and that was enough. he'd heard her long enough to hear that definitive stutter. thank god graham didn't have that. he was awkward and antisocial, but he could put a sentence together if he had to. though he rarely put a sentence together it was nice to know he wouldn't sound so much like an ignorant street kid when he did speak. she scooted over slightly and graham hesitated, finally taking a seat on the very edge of the bench. she seemed jumpy enough by the way she'd reacted when he'd offered her the napkins, he certainly didn't need to give her any more reason to freak. lord knows he'd had enough experience with freaky girls the last time he was here. that's when he'd run into scarlett who had practically jumped and bobbled around while digging into every little aspect of his life. this was slightly a little more comfortable than that last time, but not my much. he didn't look at her as she mopped away at the water soaked blood. he simply looked over the railing out to the ocean, giving her some peace and quiet, himself as well. he nodded as she thanked him, not expecting one but acknowledging it anyways. "no problem. you looked like you needed them." though he'd made a point to not look her way, he couldn't help but look over at her as she talked about the bench. "uh yeah. great view." that was definitely new. then she said her name, that was a little more like what he was used to. "hi, graham mccarthy." he looked out at the ocean again as she fiddled with her shoes. why was it that every conversation on this damn pier had to be so weird?

--------------------------------------------------------

status • finished
words • 1370
tagged • reanne !
clothes • here.
listening to • -- - --.
notes • --.

[/font][/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Reanne Halper]

I'M BRUISED AND SCARRED
save me from this broken heart
ALL MY LOVE WILL SLOWLY FADE
& F A L L A P A R T
• • • • •

When it came to boys, Reanne was hopeless. She’d never had a boyfriend, or even been on a date. Sure, she got asked out on dates maybe twice, and was too petrified to even considering accepting the offer. After those couple experiences though, she figured it was spread that she was a freak and not to bother. The girl had never been kissed, or even hugged by a male other than her father. He had kissed her on the cheek and forehead as a child, but that stopped around the age of nine or ten. She’d hugged him too, but nothing like caressing. They were big, friendly bear hugs that were expected from a father. She never would think of a romantic hug involving such tight, uncomfortable grasps, and shaking. Charlie always shook her and laughed. The only boy she’d ever really said more than five words to was her neighbor’s son, and he was four years younger than she was. She had always thought of him like a pet dog or something. Annoying, friendly, playful. He had had some sort of little crush on her, but it wasn’t blunt or crude or intimidating like the boys her age. It was just that she babysat him and his twin sister sometimes and he always wanted her to play video games with him and not dress-up with his sister. That hardly counted as anything at all. That was as much of a boy as the stallion they’d had. Sure, she knew how the whole ‘dating’ thing worked and how people were supposed to act... From movies and books. Her parents had never even been together for her to see what love was like. To be frank though, Reese didn’t even know what love was. Yeah, she loved her dad, and she loved her grandma, but that was different, wasn’t it? The problem was, she had no idea. It was odd. Reanne didn’t really feel like she was missing out on anything, she had no desire to get involved with anybody, and the whole idea of sex scared the crap out of her. She never even wanted to have kids. What if her epilepsy was genetic? She wouldn’t want to pass it on to some innocent child, though she would never be like her mother and abandon the poor thing. If she was honest with herself, Reese never even planned to be married, or expected to find anybody who would have her. Yes, the doctors sometimes said that the epilepsy would go away since they didn’t even really know why she had it considering there didn’t seem to be any links that it was genetic. Being a pessimist though, Reanne was pretty positive she’d have it forever. There was always this derisive thought in her mind that if her own mother could not even love her or give her a chance because she was plagued by a mutation, then how could anybody else? She’d met a few other epileptic adults, young women and old. Some were married, and happily at that. They were beautiful though and had lovely personalities and were probably impossible to not want to talk to. Being epileptic, plus plain jane, plus being quite possibly the most shy person on the face of the planet made her feel very undesirable. She didn’t have a problem with it though. If she spent the rest of her life with no companion but an old mutt, well that was just fine. She liked dogs. They were nice.

Sitting there on that cursed bench with some boy she’d never met that had courteously, but inconveniently, offered her help was very weird for her. Reanne didn’t feel comfortable in the slightest, even though she was trying really hard to get rid of the jitters. First off, she had to get rid of that stupid stuttering she did when she first met people. It was absolutely awful and a very ugly habit. She didn’t like it, but she never really tried to stop. A new determination suddenly hit her. Why couldn’t she just have a normal conversation? Well she was going to… or at least normal in her book. It would be great if she could not act like a total buffoon for once in her life. She talked to girls and boys at school on occasion, and at this point in the year it was even easy, though she still never said much to them. She talked when necessary during labs or projects or free-time, and she talked when they spoke to her first. She did it without stuttering or saying anything idiotic. Why couldn’t she do it now? Those kids weren’t her friends. She felt no more comfortable with them than she did with this random kid sitting there. Reanne was simply used to them. She was had gotten over the fact that they were new. They were kind and nice, or most of them at least. Maybe this boy was nice too. So yeah, she didn’t get an elementary school nurse with band-aids, but she got a helpful stranger with napkins. When he mentioned her needing them she glanced over, just nodding. He looked like he could be dangerous, but she wasn’t really getting a vibe from him that he was. That was a good sign, wasn’t it? She looked down at her legs, dabbing them here and there where the blood was still making its way out slowly. It looks nasty, and she was probably going to have some scars from it if she didn’t go to a pharmacy or something to buy anti-scar medication or something. She’d never had a problem with her legs, but the scabs were going to drive her nuts for the next few weeks, and if she did end up with scars she was quite possibly going to wear pants for the rest of her life, because from the looks of it, they would make her skin look pretty ravaged.

Great view? She snorted, feeling completely stupid, ”Sure is,” she muttered. Who in the hell of it said “this is a nice bench” before even saying their name? Of course Reanne did. It was the first thing that came to mind, and she was trying to make it less awkward… though that seemed to have backfired. The dumb phrase had definitely made it more awkward. She decided to be normal, or at least try. Plenty of people could have random conversations with strangers on the spot and not sound totally idiotic. Graham McCarthy? Why did that sound so familiar? McCarthy, McCarthy, McCarthy… she racked her brain for why the name was sticking out so much, Dr. McCarthy! She finally got it. She’d met the sweetheart of a doctor here and there when she was at the hospital. Never talked to her for a long time, but when she had a bad seizure a couple months ago she had been comforting and kind the whole time. Most doctors Reanne met were nice, but Dr. McCarthy had seemed more empathetic than most. Reanne had really liked her from the first time she’d ever spoken to her. She decided to throw that out there, even though it was possible there were multiple McCarthy’s around, ”Oh, McCarthy? Like Dr. McCarthy?” she felt a bit more comfortable knowing, or at least assuming, this was her son, ”Are you related to her? She’s very nice,” she smiled a bit, but it felt different, odd.

• • • • •

TAG Graham (Ruby) <3
WORD COUNT 1,242
STATUS Complete!
OUTFIT Sweatshirt ; Tank-top ;Shorts ; Shoes ;
SETTING The Pier, around 5:30 p.m., December 2007
NOTES I hope it's okay I made Ree know (kind of) Raquelle. I figured it may make things run a bit more smoothly.
MUSE MUSIC Already Gone - Kelly Clarkson
CREDIT justlikefalling @ caution 2.0
LYRICS bruised & scarred , MAYDAY PARADE

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• • • • •

[Graham McCarthy]

GRAHAM BRYANT MCCARTHY
VALKYRIE, CALIFORNIA, THE PIER, LATE AFTERNOON, DEC 2007

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-----in a sense you could say that graham felt jipped, because he really did. graham had been forced to grow up at the early age of about four years old when he'd been thrown into his first foster home after the orphanage had closed down. he had been a happier child back in the home. he'd been given everything, he was taken care of, he was around other happy kids. unfortunately for graham he really couldn't remember it anymore. there was a time when he could remember it. growing out of that infantile stage into being a toddler. playing with balls and hanging out with the twenty plus other kids that were in the orphanage. it wasn't so hard. it was like growing up with a big family. kids ranged in ages from infant to seventeen, all sitting around and hoping to find a family to love them. it had been the happiest graham had ever been outside of being with the mccarthy's now. to not remember the one other time that he was happy was tough. it wasn't easy forgetting the fond memories he'd had. it wasn't like something out of annie either. his orphanage was run by one of the kindest women he'd ever met. she liked to spend time with all of the kids, sitting around with different age groups and talking about life. she would sit and hold the infants, play roll the ball with graham's age group, talk about the future with the older kids, all of it. she was a hero practically. it was the worst day of her life when the orphanage lost it's funding due to budget cuts, worse when she had to see the children she grew to love being ripped away from one another and scattered into various foster homes all over the state. it was the worst day of graham's life too. he'd been given a duffel bag, told to pack up his belongings, and he was trucked off to a foster home in the ghettos of the city.

-----that had been the only place graham could ever remember being happy, and quite frankly he didn't remember much of it any more. he wanted to remember it, but when you had so many more experiences in life that were damn terrible, well it was hard to remember the good. you tended to remember the beatings because each and every slap to the side of the head or fist into the gut was permanently ingrained in your head. like a traumatic experience that kept you from doing the things you used to love. as such, graham had a really hard time remembering the good. he didn't remember playing roll the ball because all he could remember was the only ball the foster kids got being popped in the massive hands of their foster father after the kids had gotten a little too loud. he didn't remember being tucked into bed in the orphanage because the only reminders of sleeping he got were sleeping in an open nook on the floor in a foster home, sleeping on the jungle gym in the local park, or tucking himself into a discarded box in homeless row underneath the bridge. it was funny how graham enjoyed being homeless over being in a foster home. there were always perks to having a roof over your head. there was the dry factor, the overall protection from the elements, a place to go back to at the end of the day, all of that. graham was starting to understand it more and more each day that he was spending with his new family. but there was one thing that being homeless provided that having a roof hadn't, at least from his experiences, and that was safety. i know, safety? how would that be possible when he was living out on the streets. wasn't that dangerous? yes of course it was. there were dangers around every turn. but being in a house with abusive foster parents was more dangerous than living on the streets. that said a lot for graham's experiences.

-----but despite all that had happened and all he'd been through, graham was finally starting to open up around people. he used to be the frightened teenager who you would think acted like a shy five year old. his first day at the academy, graham shrunk into the shadows and waited for the crowds to pass before he moved an inch. he'd hated it. but now he was starting to get used to it. he could move through the crowds relatively well. he still avoided the huge crowds but he could now move with the flow of traffic and not be late to his classes. that was always a plus. he could look someone in the eyes for a minute max before he looked to the ground, that was a solid improvement. he stopped jumping as badly when someone clapped a hand on him. that was an abuse reaction. like a neglected dog would flinch and close their eyes when you raised a hand to pat them, graham would wheel to face the danger, his hands fisted and ready for a fight. yeah it wasn't fun. but a lot of people stayed away from him after a reaction like that so you could say it was a good thing in his eyes. not that he wanted to be so afraid. he didn't like that fight or flight adrenaline rush reaction that he got whenever someone unexpectedly touched him. he didn't like not having that normal kind of reaction. if anyone else around the school got a pat on the shoulder unexpectedly they would turn to look who the person was and react accordingly. graham? not so much. it was annoying. but thankfully that was starting to improve. a lot of things still had to be worked on, a lot of therapy session were in dire need of taking place, but all in all graham was starting to get better. it was the most normal he'd ever felt compared to what he used to be. that was a significant improvement and graham was proud of it.

-----did that mean that he was a super conversation maker? oh hell no. though he was slightly more relaxed then before as he sat on the bench, he was still his usual, awkward self. he looked over at her as she snorted. was that because of what he'd said? his curious expression remained intact as he looked back out over the water. he could have taken the retort as hostile but didn't. if he saw it as hostile he'd freak the hell out and then he'd have to get up and walk away. he liked this bench. as long as there wasn't a problem here he had no trouble staying on this bench. notice how he referred to the bench and not to talking to reanne. yeah that was a bad habit that needed to be stopped. graham had a tenancy to not acknowledge people, especially in his thoughts. he looked over at her as she started talking about a doctor mccarthy which was without a doubt the kind woman who had adopted him just over a year ago. he nodded hearing her second question. "yeah i guess you could say that." if she knew his "mother" than she damn well knew that they were strangely related. the good doctor had blond hair and blue eyes, a slight frame and was basically the palest woman you'd ever seen. they looked nothing alike because, well, they weren't related in the slightest. "you know raquelle how?" he questioned, genuinely curious about the answer to this one.

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status • finished
words • 1492
tagged • reanne !
clothes • here.
listening to • -- - --.
notes • sorry this took so long. damn distractions.

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[Reanne Halper]

I'M BRUISED AND SCARRED
save me from this broken heart
ALL MY LOVE WILL SLOWLY FADE
& F A L L A P A R T
• • • • •

If Reanne had a choice, she would live on the moon. Yes, the moon. That is, considering it was possible to breathe there. She would love the silence and to get away from people. Tranquility and stillness was something she appreciated more than most people. Noise wasn’t something she liked. This pier for example, it was much too noisy for her preferences. That is why she normally went jogging at like five in the morning… that way there wasn’t really a lot of people around, and it was generally silent except for the morning noises from the seagulls and the water lapping onto the beach. Natural sounds were the type of noise she could appreciate, but the human made ones were just not comfortable to her. She really hated talking to people or being in vastly public situations. It was a part of life she disliked, but couldn’t avoid and never would be able to. No matter where she went or what career path she followed, there would always be other people involved. Sure, she could pack up and moved to some god forsaken island that nobody had ever heard of, but what kind of life would that be? She wouldn’t even have been able to fend for herself. So no matter what she may hope or wish, she had to get over her fear of people eventually. If not, how was she ever going to make it anywhere in life? It wasn’t even like she had a good reason to be skittish and shy around others… not to the extent she was. Yes, her mother hated her. Yes, her dad was killed right in front of her. Yeah, she was epileptic. But all in all, those conditions weren’t so bad. It wasn’t like she ever really knew her mother to have it really affect her personality. Her dad died just over the summer, so that wasn’t the cause of it. And lastly, there were plenty of people who had epilepsy that were perfectly normal… girls who were popular and played sports. There was just something defective about Reanne. Maybe something was wrong with her brain, like it was on a different frequency than everybody else’s or something. There were people who had it way worse than she did, and they were still not as inept in the art of socialization as she was. Then again, there were probably some people out there even worse. The type who had to be in asylums or go through therapy. What if she was one of those types? The crazy kind? How would she even know if she were? There was no way she could be though. She was in and out of the hospital too often for those doctors to miss something as prominent as insanity. She still wondered though.

Sometimes Reanne wondered what she would be like if her mother had never left… if she had just given her a chance. If that had happened, her father probably would have still been outgoing and cheerful all the time, never having the tired, sad look in his eyes he had gotten on occasion. She would have had her care-free, beautiful mother there to braid her hair and coach her on the female lessons in life. What if that had been the scenario of her life? Would she have been outgoing and bubbly? Talkative? Popular? Would she have ended up pregnant in high school or a partier? Or would she be the exact same person she was now? The idea was baffling, though her current state compared to some of the other possibilities seemed wonderful. In reality, Reanne wasn’t exactly displeased with who she was or who she had become. Sometimes she was lonely, yes, and sometimes she wished she’d had a friend… but most of the time she was okay with the isolation. The only thing that really seemed to bother her was how she felt as though she didn’t really have a choice as to whether she could be surrounded by friends or not. It was so hard for her to speak up or to meet people. She’d always been a submissive, reserved person, so people never really bothered with her after a first try and failure. It made her feel stupid and rude, but she couldn’t help it. It wasn’t like she could snap her fingers and suddenly be Miss Sally Sunshine the Social Butterfly. Even if she could, she probably wouldn’t ever choose that. Having a balance was all she wanted. Reanne wanted the option. She wanted to be able to choose if she was going to be alone or with somebody. She wanted to choose if she would be liked or ignored. At this point in her life, she felt as though she had no options. She was stuck in a rut that she couldn’t get out of. It led her in the same direction for miles and miles, perhaps forever.

Although it pained her to admit it, and she hated herself for allowing the thought to even cross her mind… maybe her father dying was a good thing. No, not in the sense that he was the bad seed tainting her growth in life… but if he was still alive she’d still be stuck in the tiny town, that she loved, of Checotah, Oklahoma. She’d still be in her comfort zone, attending a school where nobody bothered with her anymore and nobody even turned their head when she walked by. She loved that lifestyle, but it probably wasn’t good for her. She’d never taken charge of her own life because there had never been anything to take charge of. After his passing, well, she was forced to be her own person for once. Her dad wasn’t there to speak for her or protect her anymore. She stood up to her mother and did something bold, which would have seemed impossible prior to his death, by getting emancipated. That right there proved she could be brave if she really wanted to. She could be strong and decisive. Now she was here in California, somewhere she never would have seen herself less than a year ago. She was still awkward and strange, but she was better. At least now she was talking to people because she was stuck in a school where nobody knew her and she had to work with people. She had to go to the grocery store and mingle with the cashier there, she had to go to the hospital and speak for herself… she had a roommate she talked to with ease. Even though it was the absolute worst memory of her life, it did save her in a way. Maybe the phrase “Everything happens for a reason,” was a lot more true than Reanne ever took it for. Now that she thought back about how much more outgoing, yes, outgoing in her book, she was compared to when she was a native in Oklahoma, well… she had progressed a lot. It was a good thing, and maybe one day she would appreciate the way things turned out, though right now the only thing she really got out of it was that her dad was killed and everything had gone downhill from there. Eventually though, in the future, maybe Reanne would be capable of being a friendly person. Maybe her dreams would come true. Maybe she would have a future that was more than just a job and the hospital. Maybe, or maybe not.

Reanne looked out to the water, watching the sun fall to the horizon. She really loved the sunset, especially during that twilight hour when the sky was neither light nor dark. For some reason it was peaceful to her. This was a nice place to sit, it really was. Nobody was cluttered near it, and though the boy next to her made it less than satisfying, she enjoyed this particular sitting area. It had a nice view, and it was more quite than other places around the pier. When he spoke, Reese glanced at him. It was funny, he didn’t look much like the doctor… but who was she to judge or pry? For all she knew, Dr. McCarthy was married to a man who resembled this boy more. She’d never met the Mr. McCarthy. And if the kid was adopted, like she was going to imply it or ask. For one, that would be extremely rude, and two, she wasn’t one to prod. It felt like she was invading personal space when she asked questions like that, so she just figured he was related to her somehow. There was a bond, whether it be through blood or something else. He said I guess you could say that, though, which through deductive reasoning could only lead her to believe it was a distant relationship or something. It wasn’t her business though, so she let it slide with a polite retort of a simple, ”Hmmm,” and that was all. He then asked how she knew Raquelle… the doctor. For a moment she hesitated, feeling the skittishness coming back, but she calmed herself down. It wasn’t like he’d asked for her life story. He just wanted to know how she knew his mother, or whatever the doctor was to him. After opening her mouth and snapping it shut again, she sighed, smiling sheepishly, ”Well, um…” she spoke quietly, a usual habit, her voice soft but musical. He didn’t ask her if she was diseased, so she didn’t have to say anything about it, right? That wasn’t lying, right? ”I’m in the hospital a lot. I’ve ran into her a couple times and she took good care of me once when things were bad. You’re lucky,”

[/b] she smiled again slightly. Lord, how she wished she had a mother or a caretaker or a guardian that was like Dr. McCarthy. Maybe then she wouldn’t be such a freak.

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• • • • •

TAG Graham (Ruby) <3
WORD COUNT 1,653
STATUS Complete!
OUTFIT Sweatshirt ; Tank-top ;Shorts ; Shoes ;
SETTING The Pier, around 5:30 p.m., December 2007
NOTES No worries, don't feel rushed (:
MUSE MUSIC Sweet Caroline - Puck from Glee <3<3<3
CREDIT justlikefalling @ caution 2.0
LYRICS bruised & scarred , MAYDAY PARADE

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• • • • •

[Graham McCarthy]

GRAHAM BRYANT MCCARTHY
VALKYRIE, CALIFORNIA, THE PIER, LATE AFTERNOON, DEC 2007

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-----it seemed like graham had only one thing to talk about, his past, and that was pretty darn true. his past defined him only because he hadn't had the opportunity to grow as a child. he'd spent all his years in fear or anger and that wasn't the kind of environment conducive to finding out who you were. it was all really hard. how did a person expect him to think about his future and what he wanted to be when he grew up when he was huddled around a fire in an old oil drum in the dead of winter, shoulder to shoulder with a bunch of fellow homeless men? you couldn't really expect him to look into those flames and see what he wanted to be when he grew up. what had he wanted to be when he grew up? that was a simple answer. he didn't want to be homeless anymore. he wanted to be normal and live that white picket life where he married a woman, fought about taxes and money when they were in a rough patch, having kids and letting them grow up with a normal life, the life he'd always wanted. but when he looked away from the fire to see the graffiti tagged cement walls, covered in sludge from the cars on the bridge above and standing in dank mud, well it was hard to imagine all of that. when you had to stuff your only clothing with newspaper just to keep yourself warm at night, well you didn't tend to think much about the future. the only thing on your mind was surviving until the next day, where you would get your food, the condition that food was going to be in, who you would run into, if the local kids would throw rocks at you again. it wasn't an easy life and it was damn near impossible to think of anything other than the day to day when you were reminded of your situation every waking moment.

-----of course graham did often play the what if game, the most specific being what if the orphanage had never closed down. what would his life be like if he'd never come into contact with such horrible households that had broken him so fiercely that it was taking him years to get to any semblance of normal. graham often wondered what it would have been like to stay at that orphanage. it was after all one of the best places he'd been in until he'd walked to valkyrie. would he have stayed there until he was eighteen? would he have been adopted? graham would have had a lot of stay time at the orphanage if it hadn't closed down. the boy was only three years old when it did close. in between the age of three and all the time until now, well there were a lot of chances for things to happen. graham kind of imagined it a certain way. he'd grow up in the orphanage, playing with kids, watching them get adopted out, and then at about nine or ten it would be his turn. a couple would come to the orphanage, happy, loving, and looking to share their home with a little life. they would see him and they would know immediately that he was the right fit for them. they'd call him over, talk to him for a while and see what his interests were. they would adopt him and take him home to their ranch style home somewhere out in the outskirts of town where you could be close to civilization while not having to sacrifice on good amounts of land and peace and quiet. he'd grow up playing ball, he'd go to school like a regular kid, he'd date and he wouldn't be jaded by abusive households that he was forced to run away from. it all sounded like a wonderful dream to him, even living in the orphanage for that long. he wouldn't have minded that. the place had been great. it was everything after that that had done him in.

-----still he supposed that an ending like the one he had now couldn't be so bad. after all he was in a good place now. sure he had gone through terrible troubles to get here but wasn't in the end result that mattered the most? as it stood now he was free. free to do whatever he liked. free to finally figure out himself and who he wanted to be. it was better than still living on the streets or, god forbid, still being in juvie. he was still more relaxed than her and he could notice it, even if he wasn't looking her way. tension rippled off of her and he picked up on it almost like a dog would. it was a homeless thing. that was the only way he could possibly explain it. he didn't think that his question was all that invasive. it seemed fairly innocent to him. but then again his mother was a doctor, he might have been inquiring about something personal and hadn't even known it. so she was at the hospital a lot? that was how he'd met raquelle, so the fact that she was super nice to everyone at VH didn't surprise him. how do you think he ended up where he was now? "yeah she's pretty awesome." he nodded a bit when she said he was lucky. heh, if she only knew, a small smile came to his lips, hardly long enough for her to even catch it. "you are too. she's one of the best docs i ever had." it was hard to think of raquelle as a mother, even if she was the closest thing he'd ever had to one. otherwise would he not have called her his mother and such? would he not have owned up to it? it wasn't like it was a bad thing, raquelle was one of the greatest women he'd ever met. "she's...uh, my mother. adoptive mother i guess you could say. took care of me in that hospital for weeks and ended up adopting me." damn. that was the first time he'd ever told someone that. heck he hadn't even told scarlett when she'd pried into his life. why was he just fessing up to it now? weird. there must be something in the water.

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status • finished
words • 1268
tagged • reanne !
clothes • here.
listening to • -- - --.
notes • --.

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[Reanne Halper]

I'M BRUISED AND SCARRED
save me from this broken heart
ALL MY LOVE WILL SLOWLY FADE
& F A L L A P A R T
• • • • •

The day she turned eighteen would be the best day of Reanne’s life. She still had a year and a couple months to go, which was way too long. Sure, she was emancipated now. She was practically an adult already… but she was still being “checked up” on and her mother was still bothering her here and there about her sudden change of heart. Social Services would be paying her an unwelcome visit soon to see how she was doing. Of course she was fending just fine, but they were going to do their best to find something wrong with her current lifestyle. Sarah was probably pushing hard to have them revoke her freedom and send her back home… all because she was a selfish, money grabbing, greasy little rat. Lord, how she hated her. They’d have to meet her roommate, interview her boss from La Fleur Violette, where she was a hostess, speak with her doctors, and also with the head administrator of the school. If even the slightest little detail was out of line, then she could be sure she was going to be shipped back to New York in a heart beat, and that was the last thing she wanted to do. If it came down to that, well she was going to do everything in her power to get out of there, even if that meant running away. However, Reanne was pretty sure that she’d be fine this time around. She had a living situation, a job, tons and tons of money in savings, a good doctor and good insurance… what did they have to rebuke her about? It wasn’t like she was out drinking or partying or hiding pot in her mattress. They weren’t going to find anything, and that meant she was safe until summer came around. Every six months, and that was it. Excluding this check up, there would only be two meetings left until she turned eighteen. Couldn’t they just leave her alone? She was a lot better off all alone living the way she was than with her stupid biological mother who just wanted some extra cash and otherwise would completely ignore her. She didn’t get along with any of her step-siblings and her step-dad was a harsh man. He’d never directly said a word to her, though she did hear the crude things he’d said behind her back. What made them think that was a better environment than being at least somewhat happy here in California where she could govern herself and avoid being mistreated. As far as she was concerned, she could never speak to the rest of her remaining family again and be completely satisfied about it. They weren’t the best people, at least not in the way they treated her. Screw Sarah and the rest of the Thomas’s.

Luckily though, none of these things that had been plaguing Reese’s mind with anger were bothering her anymore. She wasn’t thinking about the idiotic message left on her phone or the social services harassing her. She wasn’t thinking about her dumb step-family or anything of that sort. Maybe eating crap just a few minutes ago was the best thing that could have ever happened to her. She wasn’t pissed off any more, scared out of her wits and enveloped in shyness, but that was better than being infuriated. Reanne had never liked being angry. She always felt sick when she was, and being a fairly non-violent person, well, she didn’t really know how to express anger. To be honest, she didn’t really know how to express herself in general unless it was a simple “Thank you.” She wasn’t good at speaking or telling people how she felt and she really didn’t know how to relieve herself of emotion. Well, that actually wasn’t entirely true. Reanne expressed herself, but not in front of or for anybody else. When it came to letting everything out, the girl always turned to the inanimate object that she trusted more than any person. Everything always came out in her music. That was the one thing in her life, other than academics that came easy to her. Writing a song about how she feels or what she loves… or loved… is the only way she’s ever known how to tell people who she is and why she is that way. The music always came just as easily as the lyrics… and sometimes she would be simply and lazy and just learn to play and sing songs that defined her life or feelings at the time. That was something she was very touchy about though, her music. Most of the time she didn’t even tell people she was musically talented at all, and if it weren’t for the fact that she was in a class or two at the academy to enhance the abilities, well, she probably wouldn’t perform, even though the performances are short and primarily for the teacher, at all. Her personal lyrics had never been seen by the eyes of any other soul, not even her father when he’d been around. That was something she felt like she’d never be able to do; letting somebody into her musical mind. That would be like taking her heart right out of her chest, putting it into a book, and handing it to anybody for them to read. She knew that going professional was probably the most unlikely thing to happen to her on the face of the planet. She figured it was more likely she’d become president or something outrageous like that. It was one secret she’d never tell.

Reese listened quietly while he spoke. She looked out to the ocean instead of at him. It was easier to be calm and normal when she wasn’t looking at somebody. Naturally though, she did glance over at him every now and again, and just after she said he’d been lucky, she thought she saw his lip twitch or something, but she wasn’t too sure. Maybe she was just crazy. She was lucky? Maybe that was true. I mean, she could have ended up with some sort of doctor that didn’t explain anything to her or was like that a-hole “House” off T.V. She couldn’t really think of anything to say to that, but she nodded in consent, staring out at the beach and watching the water lap over the sand. When he spoke again, she was a little surprised. For some reason he didn’t really come off like the “I’m going to pour my heart out to you” type, or anything less really. But he went on without even being asked about how Dr. McCarthy was his adoptive mother and had taken care of him when he was in the hospital. Reanne was pretty sure she wasn’t one of those people that came off like a shrink or something, so she was pretty sure he wasn’t telling her this just because of her own personality. Maybe he was telling her because she was like a tree or a dog or something. It wasn’t like she said much. Maybe he thought she was compelled and was going to ask or something? Reese didn’t know. She half smiled a little, not looking at him, but still straight ahead, ”You don’t have to explain yourself,” her voice just sounded courteous. She didn’t mind if he wanted to go on about his personal life. All the better, because that meant she didn’t have to. But she didn’t want him to feel like he had to or something. She was feeling more comfortable all the time, getting used to this spontaneous conversation sort of thing, ”I have epilepsy. That’s how I know her,” Apparently she was going crazy. A second after she said that her eyes widened a little and she pursed her lips, looking more confused than anything. Maybe it was just “profess random facts about yourself” day. She glanced at him slightly, feeling her stomach do a little jig inside of her because of the sudden outburst. I guess she just felt like explaining something since he did it too.

• • • • •

TAG Graham (Ruby) <3
WORD COUNT 1,351
STATUS Complete!
OUTFIT Sweatshirt ; Tank-top ;Shorts ; Shoes ;
SETTING The Pier, around 5:30 p.m., December 2007
NOTES ---
MUSE MUSIC ---
CREDIT justlikefalling @ caution 2.0
LYRICS bruised & scarred , MAYDAY PARADE

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• • • • •

[Graham McCarthy]

GRAHAM BRYANT MCCARTHY
VALKYRIE, CALIFORNIA, THE PIER, LATE AFTERNOON, DEC 2007

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-----what was life going to look like now that everything was changing? he was going to school now for the first time in his life. was he even going to be able to graduate? right now graham was sitting around in class struggling to keep up with everything. he was a seventeen year old kid who have never been in a classroom setting. sitting in a hard desk for seven hours a say was hard enough. it wasn't like he wasn't used to it, but being surrounded by so many people that made him uncomfortable just made it that much more difficult. the boy hardly knew how to read, nothing more than what he'd taught himself late at night when the foster family was asleep or when he was out on the streets trying to find his way from one place or another. he wasn't a stupid kid. he really wasn't. read him a lesson about the american revolution and ask him questions about what he'd been read. the boy could answer anything you throw his way. he could remember just about every detail in every conversation he'd ever had with other homeless folks on the streets. that wasn't what was difficult for him. it was sitting in that desk, in that tense kind of air, staring at a book that he didn't understand. the teachers didn't call on him. they knew more about his situation than he ever hoped a person would know about himself. they knew about all of the foster homes, about how did never had a mother, about how he'd been on the streets and had never touched a school in all his life. graham figured they were shocked he looked even remotely human. after living a life like that one would figure a person would be primal, would be like a feral cat locked away in a cage. no one would have ever thought he would blend in so well in the halls of valkyrie academy.

-----so they didn't call on him. they specifically didn't make a mockery of him. good. that was the last thing he needed. lord knows if anyone had called on him it wouldn't have mattered. the attention on him alone would have kept graham from answering any questions. it would have been seen as stubborn in any other student. he would have been pegged as lazy and whatnot had he grown up with the crowds. but if you only saw the was he was in those classes after school or during free period. that was when graham really shined. he had a particular teacher who was regrettably a special education teacher because no one else really knew how to teach him in a way that was so different from what they were used to. no one else would patiently take that kind of time to sit down in an empty classroom, reading page after page out of graham's books. but they did it. well, one woman did it. she was helping him and they both could tell. they saw an improvement in his test scores, those which also had to be administered verbally. but graham was doing pretty damn well for someone who hadn't seen the inside of a school unless it was a turned into a shelter during a time of emergency. he'd thought it was going to be a lot worse than what it was now, but graham was getting into the swing of things. if you thought about it, graham was lucky. whereas other children were thrown into school and had to live through twelve or so years of constant droning on and on, one projection after another, all of that. graham had been thrown in when school was on it's last legs. where other kids had to live through this for years, graham was cramming in all of that knowledge in a series of about three years. that's twelve years of schooling for the bargain price of three years. maybe he was getting off easy. as long as he could pass the graduation equivalency exams, graham was on track.

-----did he ever think he'd be going to school? no not really. did he ever thing he'd be getting through it with the accommodations that he was getting? well no. this was completely out there for him. though he knew this was not his cup of tea and that he really wasn't used to it yet, graham was happy to be doing something normal for a teen, even if his school experience had to be tweaked. at least he was making up for lost time yes? that was the point. it was nice to see that someone had a similar appreciation to graham's new mother as he did. reanne seemed to like her and that gave her points in his book. raquelle was a sensitive subject her him. he believed that she deserved the world but at the same time he couldn't really be the one to give it to her. he wanted to. he really, really wanted to. but the poor antisocial boy just did not know how. it was weird to just outwardly say things about his past. it wasn't like he was hugely open with it. in fact he was rather surprised that it had just come out in the first place. he shrugged slightly as she responded to his little confession. that was the kind of reaction that put him more at ease. it didn't make her ask more questions, she didn't care to dig any further, she didn't prod. that was awesome. "true but it's not like we look anything alike. maybe it's just easier to say aloud." that was more to himself than to her, but it was loud enough to be heard anyways. he was surprised though that she told him a little about herself. at first glance she didn't seem a thing like the type to open up at all. weird. but she had and it kind of helped him to understand why she would know his mother so well to begin with. "yeah that makes sense. how bad do you get them, if you don't mind me asking. i was at risk as a baby but didn't develop the condition."

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status • finished
words • 1234
tagged • reanne !
clothes • here.
listening to • -- - --.
notes • --.

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[Reanne Halper]

I'M BRUISED AND SCARRED
save me from this broken heart
ALL MY LOVE WILL SLOWLY FADE
& F A L L A P A R T
• • • • •

Reanne was very aware of the fact that she was peculiar in comparison to others. No, she didn’t fit in at all, and even though she had the look to get around in the academy without being stared at, if anybody talked to her (other than the few fellow classmates she spoke to on a daily basis) it would be quite obvious that there was something wrong with her. I mean, it wasn’t like she had a mental disability or something. She wasn’t super freakish and she didn’t stand our like an old donkey amongst a group of old pure bred stallions. Her differences weren’t that drastic. No. Reese was just shy to the point that it was disabling and insolated herself from people. She liked not sticking out like a store thumb, in a good or bad way. She couldn’t even think of one person she actually considered a friend here. It wasn’t everybody else’s fault though, it was the fact that she didn’t try to befriend people. Sometimes she felt the affects of it, but when had she ever really had a true blue friend? Never, really. So how was she supposed to know what it felt like to be invited to everything or have somebody at your back whenever you were in trouble? She couldn’t have had the faintest idea. She knew what it was like to have the best dad in the world, she knew what it felt like to finally play a song perfectly on the guitar, she knew what it was like to bond with a horse… but how was it that none of those aspects of happiness in her life involved other people? Her dad didn’t count, especially since he wasn’t even around anymore. Maybe it would be nice to have somebody to talk to every now and again, to hang out with and be maybe a little more like a kid with. Maybe she would like it, but it wasn’t like she would know until she tried it… and frankly, she didn’t have the balls to do that. A drama free life was good enough for her, or at least that was what she kept telling herself.

When it came to her future, Reanne was just as lost as any other confused, distraught teenager. She had no idea what she wanted to do or who she wanted to be. From the day she turned ten she’d been deciding different careers to pursue, changing her mind every so often. Journalism was a big one for a while, but she realized she wasn’t devious enough to do that. She thought about being a teacher, which didn’t seem so bad. She liked kids well enough and was good at teaching people. But she would never be able to handle raging parents. Sometimes she considered being a doctor, maybe that way she could help other people whose lives were hindered by diseases. She could relate to that all too well. A professional singer/song writer was her biggest preference, but that was out of the question until she overcame her fear of large crowds. Maybe she could just become a scientist and sit in a lab all alone all day discovering things. Or perhaps the NASA career was the path for her. That way she could just get shot up into space for months at a time with a couple other people who she would probably get used to eventually. That was too spontaneous for her, and plus, like she’d ever want to risk her life getting into a rocket. Didn’t they blow up half the time during launch? Definitely not. Oh, a veterinarian was a good choice. Animals didn’t talk, so she didn’t really have to take them through the process or feel bad when they were scared. Maybe a marine biologist doing studies on some uninhabited island would be nice. Nobody at all but dolphins to talk to her. See what I mean? She was always bouncing back and forth between this choice and that. It was possible that she would never make up her mind and just go to school for the rest of her life and learn. That was the one thing she was good at. School. Reanne had never had a GPA lower than a 4.0, and because of the extra classes, like zero period and summer school P.E., got her ahead of the game, so if she kept up the good grades until she graduated, she would have a few more credits than necessary for even the honors diploma. If she had any better social skills, she could probably make bank tutoring people… but like she needed money.

The girl had plenty of money. Over a million in the bank, plus all the interest she was gaining. Her grandmother had left a lot to her father, and he plus his own trust fund money only added to it, and then there was the ranch she’d sold. That was worth quite a lot. All of that together made her a millionaire. It wasn’t like Reanne ever showed it though. If she wanted to, she could probably live in a house in the valks, but why not use the dorms? She was all alone and it was less cleaning space. She could easily go out and buy designer clothes and get herself looking like a star in the night, but she preferred the easy-going, casual look. Reanne never even told people she had money. What was the point? She wasn’t going to spend a dime of it until necessary, and she wasn’t going to rub it in the faces of the less fortunate kids around, not like other girls did. Those pretty, popular mean girls… they didn’t faze Reanne at all. In fact, she rarely paid any attention to them. In her mind, they didn’t ‘rule the school.’ They didn’t force people to follow their rules. People let them make the rules. Reanne was never a problem to them because she didn’t really care and she flew under the radar, but in an alternate reality, had she been outspoken and wild and fearless, well she would have caused some problems for sure. That wasn’t her issue though. Those girls left her alone, so why would she ever feel the need to bother them in any way? Hey, if the rest of the school was going to let them act like they were queens, well then they could act like subjects. It was like stabbing yourself in the foot.

When she left the house this morning, she never in a million years would have thought that she’d be sitting here next to this boy who looked like he could wrestle a gorilla and win. Let alone speaking to him. It was completely out of character for her. When was the last time she quailed her jumpiness with a stranger? She couldn’t even remember. Probably when she first went to the Academy and got put into groups to work with or a lab partner. She looked over at Graham, but only briefly before staring back out ahead of her. She suddenly wondered if he went to the academy. Was he in her grade, or even in any of her classes? It wasn’t like she ever paid much attention. Now that she thought about, she was so insolated in her classes that she could probably name two or three kids tops out of every single one. What if he’d sat right there the whole time and she’d never noticed? Boy, that sure was a weird idea to consider. When he mentioned his lack of resemblance with the doctor, she laughed quickly, the sound airy and quiet, ”Yeah… true. You resemble her as much as you do me, but who am I to judge?” In fact, if somebody had to guess, they’d probably choose Reanne as the doctor’s kid instead of the boy next to her. She was blonde and pale and had blue eyes. It was a lot closer in appearance to Dr. McCarthy than dark hair, dark eyes, and darkish skin. For a second she waited for him to just get up and walk away when she mentioned the epilepsy. It wouldn’t have upset her really, it would have just confirmed her fears that people thought she was messed up or contagious from it. Lord, her mother really screwed her up. He didn’t move though, instead he just talked about it the same as he’d spoken about anything else. Reanne was surprised, even though her expectations were ridiculous, ”Um, well it’s gotten better. I couldn’t do anything without supervision until I was fourteen… but now it’s relatively mild. Every once in a while it gets bad, but not often enough for it to be a problem,” She shrugged, lowering her voice, ”When I get seizures now, it’s usually just the dumb ones that last for a couple seconds. Rapid blinking, walking in circles, twitching…” she smiled a little sadly, ”Better than jerking around on the floor with a spoon in your mouth,” Why was she talking so much? Well at least there wasn’t really anything left to explain about it, ”Haven’t had a bad one in five months or so. Back when your… your mom,” she hoped that didn’t make him uncomfortable that she’d referred to her that way. She didn’t know what their relationship was like, or if he even called her mom, ”When I met her. I was on bed rest for a week or so. Plenty of time to vaguely get to know somebody.”

• • • • •

TAG Graham (Ruby) <3
WORD COUNT 1,592
STATUS Complete!
OUTFIT Sweatshirt ; Tank-top ;Shorts ; Shoes ;
SETTING The Pier, around 5:30 p.m., December 2007
NOTES ---
MUSE MUSIC ---
CREDIT justlikefalling @ caution 2.0
LYRICS bruised & scarred , MAYDAY PARADE

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• • • • •

[Graham McCarthy]

GRAHAM BRYANT MCCARTHY
VALKYRIE, CALIFORNIA, THE PIER, LATE AFTERNOON, DEC 2007

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-----what kind of a future was in store for graham? he didn't really know. the kid was a "take it one day at a time" type. he didn't know how to plan ahead because he'd never had to before. so what came after school. if he finished what in the hell would he do for the rest of his life. graham wanted to help his community, his people. he wanted to bring recognition to the crappy homes a lot of unwanted kids were being thrown into. basically he knew he wanted to tell his story and fix such cases where other children went through the same as him. but how could he manage that. if he wanted to be an advocate for children such as himself, graham would really need to learn how to talk to people. as it stood so far he could hardly be in a group of two or more people before he started feeling antsy and felt the need to leave. graham wasn't like most others when in a tense situation, or one he didn't know how to deal with. graham didn't give himself a minute to pause, to breathe, and to calm himself down. he didn't react violently unless he had to or anything like that. but the outcome was always the same. when graham was in a bad situation, or under more stress than he was used to, he ran. he didn't even go about it in the usual way. graham didn't just excuse himself and talk a walk around the block. he didn't find some calming place to take a breather and just get his bearings. no, instead graham liked to jack cars and take them for a spin. he'd been doing it since he was fourteen when he saw some street kid jack a car and hot wire it. like i said before, the kid was smart. he'd only had to see it once to know how to do it and he found that stealing a car was his was to alleviate stress and to quickly get out of a situation.

-----for graham, jacking cars was a necessity, but it wasn't because he needed the money or because he got a thrill from it. stealing cars was like a stress reliever. some people smoked cigarettes when they had a high amount of stress or tension. some people screamed and punched things. for graham is was the same as that only he stole cars. it was the easiest thing to learn and he found that just the effect of stealing the car and driving around with it was enough for him. graham never did anything with the car. he drove it a block or two, parked it some place quiet, wiped it down, and walked away. it was more of an inconvenience to owners than anything because he never stole the thing, he just moved it. he wasn't proud of it, but at least he wasn't doing anything with them. it would probably be more beneficial to graham to steal the car and take it to a chop shop where he could get money for it, but graham wasn't content on making a living that way. stealing cars was just a typical reaction to stress and it helped to calm him down, anything else after that would just stress him out more. he didn't want that. graham didn't like so much that he had to steal cars to begin with. he didn't want to do it. he didn't want to have to do it. it's not like he was the type to go around breaking the law. before, when he was living on the street, it wasn't much like he had a choice. it was either break the law or live in a horrible home. the choice was pretty easy if you asked him. he was thankful that he didn't have to make that choice anymore but the fact of the matter was that if graham hadn't gotten adopted by the mccarthy's he would have been back out on the streets the moment he got out of juvie.

-----he could imagine that he would like staying in a place like valkyrie. it was decent, for a city. but he didn't have much of a say in the matter any more. quite frankly he didn't mind having that power being out of his hands. even if it was only for a year or so, graham wanted to feel like a kid. it might be considered funny though that he would want to be such so late in his teen years. usually by now kids wanted to be seen as an adult. they wanted to get all the power and they wanted all the responsibility. graham was the opposite, he'd had all the power for way too long and just sitting back and being a kid sounded really good right now.

-----he didn't like to keep eye contact with people, so he hadn't really looked over at her when she laughed. it was true though that reanne looked more like his mother than he ever would. the whole blond hair and blue eyes thing was going for the both of them. he was like a black sheep in a flock of white. standing out even when he didn't want to be. it probably caught her off guard that he was interested in her condition, but he actually was. graham had almost had it at birth. not to say that a surgery prevented it from happening, but graham was a crack baby. he was premature, underweight, with defects and had to be kept in an incubator until he was the right weight. needless to say, anything could have gone wrong. "that had to be tough." he said simply. god what a nightmare that would have been. though had he had a condition like reanne's graham might have been taken better care of. he may have been put into a foster home with people who were equipped to handle such things. but you can't change the past and he had gotten over the cards he was dealt, so be it. "that does sound bad." he winced slightly. it had to be rough to live knowing you had something similar to a time bomb inside your body just waiting to go off. yeah raquelle's good about taking care of people, more so over long periods of time. that's how she wound up with me." he heard her call her his mom and didn't correct her. technically speaking it had only been that way for a year. but graham was close to thinking of her as a mother, he just hadn't said it yet.

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status • finished
words • 1328
tagged • reanne !
clothes • here.
listening to • -- - --.
notes • --.

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[Reanne Halper]

I'M BRUISED AND SCARRED
save me from this broken heart
ALL MY LOVE WILL SLOWLY FADE
& F A L L A P A R T
• • • • •

Pessimism was one of Reanne’s biggest flaws. She never really was Miss Sally Sunshine or the type of girl who could find the good out of every bad incident. I mean, she always said that a pessimist is either always right or pleasantly surprised: and who could argue with those results? Her expectations were never very high or happy, her self confidence was pretty low, and the only thing she didn’t quite have the most negative look on was other people. When it came to the assumptions she made of others, well, she was pretty indifferent. Reanne never really assumed somebody would be a creeper or a freak or rude. She just never really thought about it. However, what she did have a bad opinion about was how other people were going to treat her. Overall, the whole pessimism thing wasn’t really helping her out with her social skills. Already assuming people wouldn’t like her or would think she was weird didn’t exactly encourage her to talk to people. She just figured she wasn’t the type of person people really chose to socialize with, or the girl anybody pursued as a friend. For all she knew, well, maybe people were allergic to her or something. It wasn’t a big deal or a problem. It wasn’t like she was dying for everybody to love her or care for her or be her friend or adore her. That wouldn’t be her fairytale ending. She wasn’t a princess who ended up in the castle. She never wanted to be. Reese was the pauper. She wouldn’t mind ending up in the cottage with the farm boy or the peasant. Just the normal guy. Prince Charming was overrated. Plus, though she wasn’t really a part of the whole “social scene” didn’t mean that in class she didn’t hear those girls drone on and on about their drama. ”Oh, he seemed so perfect!” “I don’t understand how!” “He was the one, I just don’t know what happened.” “How did my Prince become the bad guy?” Well shoot. Reanne wasn’t about to dive nose first into that lifestyle when all it seemed to bring anybody was tears, cat fights, and turning their backs on their friends…. Not like she had friends to turn their back on her or something. It was better safe than sorry, wasn’t it?

There were more reasons behind why Reese didn’t fit in very well in her current setting. I mean, yeah, reasons besides the obvious ‘timid church mouse’ thing. She was from a small town. A town that probably didn’t even have as much people as a Valkyrie Grocery Store had on one of its good, busy days. She was used to fields and trees and the smell of animals. Reanne grew up with farm animals and horses and a country style home. Her school had been way smaller with way less attendants. In fact, there couldn’t have been more than four thousand people in that town. It was just enough to wear it wasn’t stupidly small, but it was still tiny. It wasn’t like she’d been unexposed to anything bigger or more majestic. She’d been to many places with her dad. But she never had to live in those places. It wasn’t until after her dad died that she had to live anywhere else, and that’s how she ended up in Buffalo, New York with her mom. God, how she hates that city. She make have just been biased against it because: One, she was for to live there, and Two, that is where her good for nothing mother was stationed. At least she’d never had to attend school there. New school plus her step siblings would equal disaster, for her. But she didn’t stay there long. Not even the whole summer. No, she got her emancipation rights and moved clear across the country to Valkyrie, California. Still big, but not frightening. It was a lot more beautiful here too than it’d been in Buffalo. Maybe that was just the “I hate everything having to do with my mother” opinion, but it was still what she thought. And prior to her settlement here, well she’d honestly never been on a beach. Not unless you counted the beaches of a lake. Her father didn’t like going out there much, so she just trusted it wasn’t fun. She’d driven by them, seen pictures, seen them from afar… but never actually went out and walked on one. Turns out she loved it. Unfortunately, it was always super crowded and had noisy, two things she wasn’t fond of… but most of the time she could tune it all out and just listen to the water. She really enjoyed that. So it wasn’t like being in Valkyrie made her unhappy. She was content, happier some days than others, more happy about some aspects than others… so she was good. She was comfortable. Reanne still didn’t get it though, the whole “I’m more rich than you” crap and the immense drama. Sometimes she felt like she should be the narrator of a reality television show. It would be more than entertaining. She was so quiet that people didn’t refrain from spilling their secrets in front of her. It wasn’t like Reanne was ever going to tell anybody anyways, even if she hated them… and she didn’t even feel that way to begin with.

Talking about her epilepsy was something she’d never done with somebody that wasn’t on a need-to-know basis. She’d talked about it plenty with school teachers, the head administrators, her boss, her roommate… and of course, her doctors. It was weird how she wasn’t ever even shy around doctors anymore. Conversation came easy around them, even if she didn’t know them. Anyway, talking about it wasn’t something she was good at or liked to do. She hated the pity she sometimes got from it or how people would treat her differently than they had before. It wasn’t that big of a deal, and if people could just accept that, well then maybe she’d be more open about it… if she was ever open at all. When talking to Graham, she just didn’t look at him, not even glancing. It wasn’t that she expected him to be giving her dirty looks or something, but she didn’t want to see pity in his eyes or anything. He didn’t seem like the therapist type of guy, but who knew. People were weird, they surprised you. ”Not that bad,” she assured him, just nodding a little as if she was trying to convince herself. I mean, her grandmother was alive long enough to be on shower-duty, so it wasn’t like she ever had to have her dad in the bathroom with her at the same time. Reanne almost shuddered at the idea. Ew. God Bless her grandmother’s good heart wherever she was. When he spoke about the Doc, she nodded again in agreement, ”Yeah, she’d probably one of the best doctors I ever had. Not only did she get the job done, but she went out of her way to make me feel better,” he kept mentioning he’d been in the hospital for a long periods of time, so he met the doctor. It was bound to make a girl curious, ”If uh, if you don’t mind, why—“ but she was interrupted mid sentence.

A girl walked by, linking her arms with two others. Of course, the night crowd was starting to show up for dinner and bonfires and whatever. Awesome. And yeah, sarcasm. The girl had quickly looked at Reanne’s legs and giggled, ”Bein’ a klutz the only way to get attention from a boy?” she snickered, making her voice mockingly sympathetic. Reanne’s eyebrows had lifted up a little when the girl had begun to speak, but then her face fell flat when she realized it was a stupid insult. Well that was completely pointless and just flat out dumb. Wouldn’t it be hilarious if Reese just pretended to have a seizure right then and there to make that girl eat her words? Hah, probably. Too bad Reanne would never have the guts, let alone even think of the idea, in a million year. So instead she just stared at the girl. She was in Reanne’s pre-calculus/trig class. Nice girl. Finally the girl’s laugh just fell, she scowled and walked off. Really now? What was the purpose of doing that? To make yourself look stupid?

The girl shrugged a bit, not even really remembering the comment anymore. She wasn’t embarrassed by it or angered. It was something to be expected. Her expression was a little amused, but still mostly apathetic, ”Gotta love trigonometry,”

[/color] she rolled her eyes, but then remembered what she’d been asking, ”Anyway, why were you in the hospital? If that’s too personal you don’t have to answer…” her voice trailed off. She look down at her legs, dabbing them here and there with the soiled napkins where the blood was still slowly coming up. Then she turned her attention to the water, staring out at it until it touched the sky. Water was beautiful.

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• • • • •

TAG Graham (Ruby) <3
WORD COUNT 1,520
STATUS Complete!
OUTFIT Sweatshirt ; Tank-top ;Shorts ; Shoes ;
SETTING The Pier, around 5:30 p.m., December 2007
NOTES ---
MUSE MUSIC come home - one republic
CREDIT justlikefalling @ caution 2.0
LYRICS bruised & scarred , MAYDAY PARADE

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• • • • •

[Graham McCarthy]

GRAHAM BRYANT MCCARTHY
VALKYRIE, CALIFORNIA, THE PIER, LATE AFTERNOON, DEC 2007

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-----was it hard for graham to be around people? incredibly. graham could hardly talk to people in his home, let alone work with people in a group at school. he found that kids didn't want to work with him and he could understand why. first and foremost he was quiet. now in most cases that wouldn't freak people out, but graham was so oddly quiet that it made people tense. he was that kind of quiet where there were absolutely no sounds coming from him, hardly even the sound of his breathing. he never got called on, he never volunteered so answer a question, he never even offered a pencil when someone had forgotten theirs. it was like sitting in the room with a statue and apparently that didn't bode well for other people. he weirded them out and to a point he was okay with that. kids that thought him strange either tended to leave him alone or were tempted to screw with him. that's when his other attributes came in handy. kids didn't normally screw with someone who was twice their girth. graham was relatively ripped, more so than a lot of guys who went to the gym three times a week. he didn't know if it was partly due to metabolism or what, but graham didn't quite know how it happened. sure, you adapt to the world around you on the street, sure muscle was a little necessary, but graham hadn't thought much of it when his biceps got huge and his stomach got ripped. that was just from doing what he did every day. his legs were fantastic, but that didn't surprise him with all the walking he'd done. so anyone who may have been tempted to want to mess with him would usually take a look at the straining fabric of his school shirt and would automatically think against it. they were smarter kids than they let on. maybe some of them actually paid attention in school and didn't let their money define them. ha.

-----here with reanne had been almost like an out of body experience. he'd never before talked to someone so much who he barely knew. sure he knew her name now and knew about her condition and that she knew his mother, but he'd known her for how long now? how long since she'd fallen down? graham didn't even know. all he knew was it had been light out when he did and now it was relatively dark, so much so that the automated lights on the pier were popping on. raquelle would be happy about this, probably more so when she heard who it was he'd been talking to for such a long amount of time. it wasn't like he really felt anything was different about this girl than any others. he would have to know other girls for that to be the case and he hardly knew any. she was quiet, reserved, and a lot like him, maybe even more shy than he was, but what was it about her that had him chatting so much? he didn't even know. only a week or so back he'd run into scarlett in almost this exact same spot and she'd poked and prodded for facts about his life and got none. maybe it was her tenacity that scared him or something, but he hadn't wanted to open up to her at all and yet here he was carrying on what had to be the first real conversation he'd had with someone else in a long time. maybe it was just because she was so different, so much more similar to what he was than scarlett, but he didn't have much of a problem talking to her either. strange. it was all a little strange.

-----he nodded slightly as she reassured him about her situation. in part he was lucky to have dodged that bullet. he was lucky to have dodged a lot of bullets. graham had been premature and a crack baby and so far the only things that were wrong with him was that he had a reading problem and he was antisocial, only one of which could possibly be related. he was lucky. had he had many conditions and had gone the same route in life as he'd now gone, something would have killed him by now. he actually smiled when reanne started talking about raquelle. "she's one of the best. she loves making people feel better, kids especially." there was a moment of silence up until reanne questioned why he'd been in the hospital for so long. well he should have guessed that opening his mouth was going to get him here. he'd opened up for the first time and now here came the prodding. but it wasn't so terrible, he supposed. maybe he could tell her...he was about to answer when reanne got interrupted. he looked over at this new girl and automatically knew he wouldn't like her. snobs like that deserved to be put in their place, but he wasn't going to be the one to do it. he watched as reanne remained silent, basically waiting until the girl had lost interest and walked away. how mature of her. oddly surprising. "ha, yeah." he said before she asked her question again. "i was in juvie after being picked up for vagrancy. apparently they don't like it when you sleep on the playground in the park. i got sick there and had to be hospitalized. that's where i met raquelle." it had to be the first time he'd ever told a person that story willingly...what was it about today that had him doing this weird stuff?

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status • finished
words • 1148
tagged • reanne !
clothes • here.
listening to • -- - --.
notes • --.

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[Reanne Halper]

I'M BRUISED AND SCARRED
save me from this broken heart
ALL MY LOVE WILL SLOWLY FADE
& F A L L A P A R T
• • • • •

For a second, Reanne had to try and remember why she had come out here in the first place. The reason had felt so huge, so incredibly infuriating just a while ago, and now she couldn’t even remember why. Right. Reanne Thomas. How was it whenever she felt an angry feeling, it was directed to her mother? Seriously, she couldn’t even remember when she’d actually been mad at somebody who was not a part of Sarah Thomas’s cult in Buffalo, New York. Anger was a practically nonexistent feeling to her. Even when somebody said something about her dad, she never was mad. She just got sad and even more quiet than she’d previously been. People could throw insults at her, start rumors, or try to embarrass her, but nothing ever did the trick. Most didn’t even bother her because she was so boring to bother in the first place. What was the fun in terrorizing somebody who was never scared, in tickling someone who didn’t laugh? That’s how others saw it with Reanne. There was no point. The girl who had made the petty comment was in her math class, and in there she’d never said a word. Not once. Then again, that class was surprising. Reese sat next to a larger, as in height and build, African American boy. He wasn’t very smart, and probably only put in the class because he’d just barely passed his others and needed to take something as his senior math. He too was silent, and never said a word to anybody. Outside of class he always seemed out going with his friends, but a trigonometry class was not in his comfort zone. This boy sat next to Reanne. She never could remember his name, but he was nice. He only spoke when asking her for help, and she always helped willingly and was very patient with the amount of time it took him to understand the problem. So maybe she wasn’t completely inept when it came to her social skills, I mean, she was apparently a good teacher or tutor, right? But anyway, this boy surprised her one day. A girl went out of her way and spilled her bottle of water on Reanne. Not a lot, just a splash to the face. It was the first time somebody had ever tried to physically provoke her. She didn’t know what emotion she was feeling, so she just stared at the girl like she did with most people. The boy, however, stood up and cussed out that girl into oblivion. She probably almost peed herself. When he was finished, all Reanne did was stare at him, a confused expression on her face. She wasn’t angry at the girl, just confused at the boy. ”We’re friends. I got your back,” he said simply, then got sent to the principle’s office along with the girl. So you could say she had a friend, but one she never talked to about anything other than math. Sometimes he’d smile at her when around school, and she’d give a little half smile back, but that was as far as that relationship went. Nobody in that class ever really said anything to Reanne after that. They didn’t even say hello or ask to borrow paper or how she finished a problem. Ree didn’t mind. Not at all. The girl who had just made her snarky remark probably found it a good opportunity to get back at Reanne. It had been her friend who did the thing with the water, so maybe that was her attempt at revenge. So much for that. Sometimes Reanne wondered if she was somehow different from every other girl in the world. She couldn’t understand their thought process. It was way too baffling.

Oh! She’d come here to get dinner too. Well, she wasn’t all that hungry. Then again, maybe she was. Having this long of a conversation with somebody she never met had her feeling different. She was having trouble deciphering how she felt about it. Was she relieved she could speak with somebody without being a complete freak? Was she terrified and in shock? Who knew. It didn’t matter though. She wasn’t really feeling inclined to get up and get food. Everything looked crowded now and her slight frame would probably be jostled around if she tried to dive into the crowd in search of anything. Drive-thru on the way home, she guessed. I mean, it wasn’t like she had to get up early in the morning or anything. It was Sunday. Sundays were the bane of her existence. There was never anything for her to do. She didn’t ever have homework because she always finished it Saturday or even Friday night. She didn’t work on Sundays. Her roommate was never even at home on Sundays. So she pretty much just sat there in her dorm and wrote. Or played her guitar. Sometimes she went to the park to do it, but only if it seemed practically empty. Other times she would go grocery shopping or pick up her meds when she needed it. For all she cared, they could make school in session on Sundays. All she needed was one free day a week… Oh Lord… Christmas break was coming up too. That was going to be absolutely awful. A couple weeks of no school. What the hell was she going to do? Feed the homeless. No joke. No way was she going back to spend the holidays with her mother. There was really no point in having a Christmas feast all to yourself. She’d go with three-minute-noodles and Christmas candy. So hell. Why not give yourself up to charity? Maybe she’d go to the hospital and read books or something. There was probably plenty of children there who were going to spend Christmas alone, or maybe the elderly ones. It seemed like a nice enough idea. The thought of Christmas was a little hard to bear. This was the first time she’d be spending it without her dad. Without a family. What would he think of her exciting plans? Well, he’d probably want to do it with her, were he around.

Darkness was not Reanne’s favorite time of the day, not even in the slightest. To be honest, she was actually scared of the dark. It got her completely paranoid and she’d probably be jumpy and skittish all the way back to her car. It wasn’t completely dark yet, but it would be at some point. It had to be eventually. She’d be jumpy and skittish all the way back to her car. At least it was lit by the pier lights, and there were tons of people around. That was always better, but that wouldn’t stop her from freaking herself out. Graham speaking shook her out of the little reverie, ”Yeah. Her career path must have been an easy decision. She’s way too gifted to have done anything else,” Reanne was a little surprised to see that he smiled an actual smile when talking about his adoptive mother. It wasn’t that he seemed like the doom-cut-myself sort, but she hadn’t seen him smile yet. People smiled a lot. She didn’t, and so maybe that just proved he was reserved like she was. Oh, so he’d been in juvie? When he said that, Reanne couldn’t help but actually look at him. He didn’t have criminal eyes or a criminal face. He didn’t look like he’d shoot up a school or rob a bank. Frankly, he looked like he’d be a good person. It wasn’t that he was glowing with goodness. He just looked, well, innocent. It wasn’t quite the right word, but the best she could come up with. It seemed odd thinking that. He looked like he could kick the crap out of somebody, but here she was saying he looking innocent. Sleeping on the playground park? So… had he been homeless? Questions flew through her head, but she wasn’t going to ask any of them. Those were questions you asked and people answered when they shared trust. There was no such foundation here. That was personal, wasn’t it? She was going to assume so. This time, she smiled at him. Her smile had always been a little crooked, so she’d always only had one dimple, which looked weird, but whatever, ”Some laws are dumb. Sounds like you got a lucky break though. Seems like a good thing you ended up with Dr. McCarthy,” she in no way felt comfortable calling the doctor Raquelle. That seemed very personal, and she was only a patient. She didn’t know if she should just move on to another subject or leave it at that. He probably didn’t want to feel obligated to spill his life story, so new subject it was. Typical stuff most people asked when they met each other. Their conversation had gone a different direction from a normal one, ”So do you go to the Academy? I’m a junior there,” it was weird how easily she could just throw the line out there.

• • • • •

TAG Graham (Ruby) <3
WORD COUNT 1,513
STATUS Complete!
OUTFIT Sweatshirt ; Tank-top ;Shorts ; Shoes ;
SETTING The Pier, around 5:30 p.m., December 2007
NOTES ---
MUSE MUSIC ---
CREDIT justlikefalling @ caution 2.0
LYRICS bruised & scarred , MAYDAY PARADE

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• • • • •