Once in a Lifetime;; Open

[heartfeltxgoodbyes]

→Ignatius "Igster" Kaloethes←
SHATTERED BY THE HATE THAT I CARRY
Take me as I am and make me whole again

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Valkyrie, California, The Beach, December 2007[/center]

- - -Ignatius would be the first to admit his faults. He's fairly tall and always has a smile on hand. Even on his worst day, the smile is still there. An ever present feature that lights up his face. What others didn't know is that he has a dark secret of his own. Who didn't have skeletons in their closets these days? Today is like any other day, though. He needs to leave the city life behind every once in a blue moon. His method of doing so? He goes to the beach and jogs until he can't jog anymore. He jogs until his worries and hardships melt away as if they were never there to begin with. This day is no different. He's dressed in his usual, beach attire; cargo shorts, a tee shirt, and sandals. Some may view him as being an oddball. Did it get to him? Perhaps. He wouldn't let on that it did. He's, for the most part, the strong, silent type. Even his type can falter, though. Without even thinking about it, he plops down upon the sand and gazes around. It's slowly dawning on him. He draws his right leg toward his body and drapes the corresponding arm over his leg. His dark gaze stares off into the horizon. Why, at twenty-one, did he have to be so retarded? "Running doesn't solve shit!" Maybe, just maybe, his life will turn around. For better or for worse is beyond him. For the first time in years, a scowl mars his expression. As far as he is concerned, everybody and anybody who crosses his path right now can die in a ditch. Why have I abused the need for companionship? All over some slut who didn't appreciate everything I did for her? He hangs his head in shame. Stick a fork in me. I'm done. Is he honestly allowing himself to give up so easily? Possibly.

- - -He is among the battered, beaten, and broken. He has survived. He's a soldier that can't be brought down by such trivial things as a relationship that was doomed from the start. He sighs quietly. Why bother running from it? It happened over a year ago. He lies down in the sand and closes his eyes. Maybe it's time he takes his sister's advice. Maybe it's time he gets back into the world of dating. The world of romance. He wants to settle down. He wants to raise a family. He's afraid. The fear itself is obvious. He's afraid to trust anybody else with his battered heart. The right girl could come along and leave just as quickly. He's a one man army against a sea of of enemy soldiers. He can already see them taking his heart, tearing it to bits, and leaving him to pick up the pieces. This thought alone makes him hesitate to even attempt anything. Since when did he become a coward? Where's the guy who stood up to his parents in the court of law? He died when the girl he loved, at one point that seemed years ago, cheated on him. He's only one man, and he's at his breaking point. With these thoughts in mind, he begins to drift off to sleep. Even in his slumber, fear clutches his subconscious and makes him hesitate to carry out the desires of his heart. The sun peeking through the clouds warms his aching body without making him too hot or too cold. After several moments, he finally stands. He's become calm and somewhat relaxed. His problems still weren't solved. Not by a long shot. He decides to wash away his worries in the ocean. He sits back in the sand and tugs off his sandals first. He wishes he had remembered to throw an extra pair of boxers into his car. Oh well. Not the first time he's gone swimming and slipped his pants over wet boxers. He tugs his shirt up and over his head. Just one article of clothing left to remove. To be on the safe side, he decides against it. Either way, his shorts would get soaked. He folds his shirt and places it neatly beside his shoes.

- - -This being said, he stands once more. He curls his toes slightly in the sand. Before he knows it, he's walking toward the freezing water. He hesitates before stepping into the water. Once he does, he nearly jumps out of his skin. "Holy shit! It's colder than I expected." He toughs it out, though. Well, he tries his best. He slowly wades deeper into the icy water. Goosebumps have risen along his tanned skin. When he gets to the point where it's hard to reach the ocean floor, he holds his breath and closes his eyes. Might as well get used to it now if he's to swim in it. He clamps his arms to his sides and draws both legs toward his body. As soon as he does, he sinks deeper into the water. The moment the water reaches the top of his head, he unfurls himself and breaks the surface of the water with a soft inhale of breath. Mission accomplished. The icy chill had gotten him used to the water almost immediately. "Yeah, baby! That's what I'm talking about!" He pumps his fist into the air and laughs. The smile that comes so easily for him returns to his face. He shifts onto his back and begins to do the backstroke. He knows he'll need a shower later to wash the salt from his skin before it crusts, but he'll cross that bridge when he comes to it. He closes his eyes and simply begins to enjoy himself. He's careful not to swallow the water. Not only would it taste disgusting, it'd be bad for his health. For the first time in years, he feels free. A heavy burden has finally lifted from his shoulders. He makes his way toward shore. Slowly and reluctantly, he stands up. Once he's standing, he runs his fingers through his hair and walks out of the water. He slips his shirt back on and slides his feet into his sandals. He feels refreshed if nothing else. He glances around with a minor twinge of embarrassment. "Oops.." He has made a complete fool of himself, but he's happy.

I AM LOST WITHOUT A PURPOSE, ALWAYS CONSUMED BY SELF
I freely give this calloused heart, can you, can you forgive me?

OOC:
Word Count - 1092
Tagged - Open
Moods - Upset and Jovial
Lyrics - "Save Me" - Killswitch Engage
Muse - Good, could do with some improvement
Status - Finished